Patricia Hajali - Negotiator -Senator -Consultant -Diplomat -Mom -Daughter

introduction: 0:07

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie.

Mark Laurie: 0:15

Hello, everyone, this is Mark Laurie here. Very special guests, David. Normally, as I mentioned before I am behind the camera photograph these incredible women with these wonderful stories. I thought the story should be heard. So I'm bringing them on board to our fasten women podcast here. And they are life. Now today I have a longtime friend I've known Patricia for decades now. And she is I think of all of my I've known has had the highest arc from starting to where she is now. It is really incredible. So I like to introduce you to all to Patricia Helgi got that right tonight.

Patricia Halaj: 0:53

Hi, Mark, how are you? Hello,

Mark Laurie: 0:55

I am so good. And I'm so glad to see you again.

Patricia Halaj: 0:57

Oh, wonderful to see you again, my darling.

Mark Laurie: 1:01

Now when we met way back when you're a young young girl who's still looking pretty good. But you were just off an aspiring photographer at that time, getting some awards as a photographer, and you've now you fall tell us a bit about your journey that you've been at from then to now?

Patricia Halaj: 1:19

Well, Mike, since we met, I think when we met, we had only the studio in Windsor. And at the time, I was talking about planning for promoting Studios in London, and I would love to conquers the Middle East. And indeed, that's what I did, I open three or four students in London, and then we move out as well to Dubai, and opened in Dubai Mall and few other locations in Dubai. So I had an opportunity as well to work as a diplomat in London for seven years. And I had also the opportunity to work in in Abu Dhabi, as a diplomat as well for serving the embassy for for a few for a period of time. But then when COVID came, we had to shut down the studio. And then I had to reinvent myself and I have to think about how can I reinvent or create more because the studio was very successful. And it was amazing successful if you remember rightly, we had some awards in Las Vegas, and we used to judge photography together. And it was the top of the top of the range in my in costume photography at the time being in the world. And you reach the levels of failover that in those days, photography, speeding imagine you can you can make so much photography. So when COVID came the the period was very hard for us because we have to close. And at the same time digital photography in iPhones and telephones were coming more and more often. So I started to notice that photography was still an income but not as strong as it was before. So I had to reinvent myself. And that was when I did the consultancy business that I'm working on at the moment.

Mark Laurie: 3:27

As well now, we talked earlier, one of the things that drive you is, I guess your favorite skill. So you go back to when you were younger? What gave you your ability to where you are now what is your your your power, your superpower that that gets you along quite well with the stuff you do?

Patricia Halaj: 3:46

That's a great question mark. I think I believe in superpowers. And I think we all have a gift. But sometimes we are late in life to open that gift. And we didn't realize we have it. But we do we all have that amazing gift that we need to discover what we are good at. And when you open this gift, and you start to practice it and enjoy they use it. It's just an incredible feeling because you live your life in such a different way. So I realized that I love people. I love connecting people. I love adding to people's life. And knowing that and having that clarity helps me to to do what I do today, which I am doing very successfully and I enjoy because I travel the world. And I can connect people from all four continents. Just because my portfolio was so large I had my phone full of contexts, presidents, ministers, CEOs, business people, managers, all that is so much and I thought well, we need to do something with it. It doesn't make any money. So then I reinvent myself and I often the consultancy business and thing has gone so amazingly well, that I'm doing several, several boards around the world. One of them is with the son of the prime minister of Dubai. And he's our chairman is an amazing company where I can have been exposed to projects, which I never imagined, I go through around 200 to 250 projects per month. So we analyze projects, from sustainability from medical fields, from agriculture, from energy, logistics, everything that you imagine that goes to there, so I had the opportunity to, to, I still have the opportunity to share with people from all corners, then also, I'm a board member of the European women Association. And we encouraging women in business to succeed and to, to thrive in their business. And as well, I'm advisor in Switzerland company, in a Brazilian company in Italy, as well with the World Trade Center. So few places where I see it as a board. And I love to contribute this. And I realized that I'm enjoying that so much that I can charge for my contribution is great. And he makes a difference in the bank account. But more than the bank account, it makes a difference as a personal level, because when you do what you enjoy, it's just amazing like yourself, you. Surely you will enjoy what you do, because you have been doing it for centuries.

Mark Laurie: 7:00

But one thing I've noticed about you is you move through your world with so much clarity, if you you see your goal so easily. When did that start?

Patricia Halaj: 7:11

Actually, it comes with practice, because not always was like that. But I do remember clarity, or definition of goals since early age. I was 19 at the time eating. And I was finishing my high school. And I used to pass in front of the presidential house, which is very near to my school, high school. And I said to my friends, I will work there one day. And they're like, Yeah, you will work with the president of Costa Rica, of course. And I say yes, I will. Anyway, one day, I will in the back from the car park area. And I literally knocked the door. So I'm going to try. And then the security guard says yes. And he said, I want to work here that he looked at me like, you look like you look are you. So please call somebody because I want to do work here. I will work for free. And I don't know how I said that to him. But I said in a way that he believed in what I was saying. And he called somebody. So this person was one of the advisors of the President, because he was passing nearby the carpark and this security call him. So he spoke to me and he said yes. And I said, Look, you don't need to pay me. I can work for you for the president is your house for three months free. If you like my work, then you can hire me. And he looked at me said you want to start no say Yes, I'm ready to stand out. So you see this queue of people? Let's say it's a long queue. I don't know how many kilometers he was a you will sit in this desk, this is paper, this is pen. And you will write what they looking for the president because they came knocking on the door asking for things for the president different things housing and communal services and things like that. So I sat down that day, and I started to take all these people and and start working to make the story short, then he was a position in the protocol department available. And I said yes, so I was very energetic and you know, it's my it's always something I always say to people. Don't worry about the makeup worry about the smiling. People wear this fantastic makeup and what is the smile? So this is the most important thing you have to wear. The makeup helps with the smile is even more powerful. And then I start working in the protocol department. And I used to go with the president before with security to check what he sees, when he comes from the car, he will follow me, I will point where he sign, I will carry his presence. And, you know, it was an amazing exposure to to the highest level of my country at the time, and it was so young. So that became addictive, because after I became a diplomat. And since that age, that's all this is works. When you have clarity, and you know what you want, and you go for it and you work for it, then things start to happen. So I feel that clarity, yes, it is a very important ingredient to be able to reach success.

Mark Laurie: 10:45

Now, you you've mentioned in all three years conversation about your dad, and what kind of man and character who was how did he shape you?

Patricia Halaj: 10:54

I think he, he plays a very important role in my life, he still is. Because he is a very supportive very, he believes in me, and I encourage all the men out there listening to this, to encourage the daughters, their wives, to support them, to love them to believe in them. You don't have to do anything else, just love and support. That's all they need. If the ingredients are inside, don't solve the problems for them. Because my father didn't solve problems for me. He, he actually didn't want me to come to England. And he got a credit card and said, Please don't go you have everything here. So here's that. I have everything here. But I don't I want to know who I am. Who I can work can be. So he said, Okay, do go. And at the time, I the President was nearly finishing his terminal office and I wanted to prove my English. So I came. And my father gave me his credit card. And I never used it mark. Never use it was I clean offices. I work in McDonald's, I work in Pizza Hut, I wash toilets. I even work in a pub. I was washing dishes in a pub because I couldn't speak English. So I said to the bar manager, one Friday. Can you let me look after the front while they give me the opportunity? He says sure. So imagine a pub in England, Friday night. You cannot be more busy than a Friday night. So there is Patricia then start to say yes. How can I help you? And then this, he was very loud atmosphere. And he was like, one is coaching is and but I couldn't understand what they're saying. So then the manager said, Patricia, come here. Go back to the kitchen. Medellin is not working. though. I went back to the kitchen, and I started crying and crying. And I was like, Oh, what am I doing? You know, it was frustrating. And I would learn English and I will understand people. And I would make it so I even used to watch the television, BBC News. And I didn't understand any word that they were saying. So it was a process of learning languages, antis when they realized that it was important to learn languages. And then this is where I started to learn more languages that I speak at the time. I was speaking Spanish and Portuguese. So I learned English and then Italian, and then the Chinese and the Arabic. But languages are definitely important. So tools or to move forward. But yes, my father is one of my superheroes.

Mark Laurie: 14:01

You'd mentioned he's a quite a charismatic individual. He described a bit about your dad like so.

Patricia Halaj: 14:07

Yeah, he's he used to interrupt place and the whole place stops. And he was so He's so charismatic, wonderful person. People love him very much. And he never teach me how to be like I am today. Only by his actions and the way he behave. That's the way parents the children that sometimes you will need to teach anything, just just have to act and behave. And children will just copy copy your walk the walk.

Mark Laurie: 14:43

And the language things interesting. I remember I said your house, a kid you had a rule, which was the kids had to say everything in the house was Spanish. And then because you felt when they went to school they had learned English that way and your boy who's five if maybe they'll always be certainly I saw the last time that these big leads, but back then they're five years old, adorable children. How did that work out? How are the kids done with that language approach?

Patricia Halaj: 15:09

Definitely, it works amazing. All My Children, they speak Spanish as a English and Arabic because they have to, because languages are an instrument. Christopher at the time, I think was five when you came 24. So Anthony is being Oxford, he started two weeks ago, he's doing business again. And Joseph is the youngest senior in high school, he's 14. So all of them speak meat, they have to speak minimum two, three languages, because the market out there now is demanding people, especially young people, to have more than two or three languages to be able to, to be more practical and more productive at work.

Mark Laurie: 16:06

That's okay. That's one of the things we have a problem here in Western Canada is that English is so predominant, that trying to get somebody to speak English language is hard, right? And I've traveled through Europe being a table and having people around me speak five receptive languages, it's just a joy. I can hardly understand anything, but I could get drift. So

Patricia Halaj: 16:28

one of the biggest challenges has been dealing with motherhood, work at the same time. Because you want to keep them balance. And you wanted to. So, yes, it's one of the challenges. Most challenges that I encountered even today is to keep that balance between motherhood, wife, and being a business woman, because my job now requires to work and travelled quite a bit. So to keep the presence balance between both sides are very important and challenging. This is one of the most challenge how

Mark Laurie: 17:17

do you how do you approach that? How do you start like that's, that's a woman has got that issue all the time. kind of approach it?

Patricia Halaj: 17:27

I think you keep the balance in your heart and try to no over overdo too much on one side or the other. But managing Okay, I think. But it's something you have to work everyday. It's not something that you're you do it once and as it is something you work on everyday.

Mark Laurie: 17:53

Okay. Now, what are you curious about these days, what what has got your attention is a curiosity thing.

Patricia Halaj: 18:02

One of the curiosity things at the moment in my life is the way women are perceived in the Middle East. And how women in the West think women are perceived in the Middle East. Working for the Middle East, for more than 20 years, has gave me the opportunity to be the bridge. And at the moment is a lot of opportunities in Saudi Arabia, for example. We help other women to work in business. So that is one thing. The other thing is in the medical field, my mother, I'm sure you remember when you came to Windsor, she has become she has self assignment. So she no longer remembers me. So based on that, I went out in the world trying to find a solution. On my way to find a solution for hair, I have encountered a lot of possibilities. The the human humans we have to access to cells. So I went to a lab in Spain, where they extract the cells, they put them in machines 24 hours later, those cells have reproduce. And three days later after that, they put them in another area, they reproduce even more so they go back to the system and it gets injected to the person again, that gives the person a more are possibilities of recovery quicker. For example, The Real Madrid uses this technology. Sometimes the players damage the knees, the arms. So they extract the cells, they reproduce them, and they inject them back. So instead of taking three months period to heal, they will heal within three weeks. That fascinates me. And the way we can help the memory of the DNA, on the cells in the pancreas, in the column, in the heart, in the brain, so all this technology, the interest rate, effect is fascinating.

Mark Laurie: 20:45

That's you're on the cutting edge of health and technology. That's, that's, that's incredible. I got a vision of living a long time, I have been told one time people have a death date in their mind, whether they realize it or not a day, they sort of expect to die. And that it's believed that can be readjusted if you focus on it. And some people want to try and push my life out there. But this kind of discoveries make it

Patricia Halaj: 21:12

feasible. And they be they I have seen them with my own eyes. And their real is one gentleman in his pink. He wrote a book called The deaths of death. So it's a very interesting book, and I've recommended to read it. But if you ask me, What is my fascination at the moment, that is my two fields, medical field and the women that women carry.

Mark Laurie: 21:40

Now, the women of x, we've got the media, I believe always has their own agenda, Vegas quite worried, but they always have a slant that they work on to it. It's been well heard, but from our conversation what why saw in Saudi Arabia is there as well, the there the perceived difference and how they work. Like I was looking at the tax bill in the world, and a lot of the women were part or in key positions to make it happen, which isn't a perceived thing over here. How would you describe the woman in Middle East in in say, Saudi Arabia, how would you present her

Patricia Halaj: 22:17

actually women in the Middle East, they are the pillars of society, they are the strength they are the power behind is very amazing is completely the opposite as is believed and perceive when you enter in their homes, and when you enter in the depths deeps the the heart of society. You see them in their homes and in business, lots of women in business at the moment in Saudi Arabia, they're covered by the they're amazing. And Dr. Khaled, for example, is an amazing women in business. And and it's just amazing to see how they they have that peace that control the serenity, in what they do, and they so highly respected by their husbands by the children. And it's completely different than the perception we have here in the West. We think they're so precious and they don't do things and No, no is the country once you enter on the heart and you leave the air and you see it. But you will stay in the in the outside world. Yes, you might perceive it that way. But when you enter the heart of the society, it's a completely different story.

Mark Laurie: 23:51

What was a turning point in your life where you suddenly go? This is one of the keystones now, I've changed my life. Kind of forks in the road that you tuck.

Patricia Halaj: 24:03

Yes, he was when he decided to come to England. I was 20 years old 21 and then make massive changes. And again, I was in my comfort zone here in England. And then another milestone was when I said I had my heart was on cold for the Middle East than they went to the Middle East. And today is beside it's an amazing experience because people 20 years ago Dubai was different place than is now 20 years ago Dubai was like Saudi Arabia is now. So the aperture of market and the mental attitude of the society has changed. So I think And those two milestones have been very significant for me. Always moving from your comfort zone, because of course in Costa Rica was comfortable. Some people said, Why are you doing here in Costa Rica such a lovely weather. Of course, it's great weather, but I couldn't fly as high as I could say, I don't know, if I was just on my comfort zone all the time. So one thing is to be happy for what you have. But one thing is to know that your capacity to help others and to reach other low conference scenarios that you can discover more gifts that you have.

Mark Laurie: 25:43

That's, that's, that's a, that's a big leap to go from, here's my comfort zone, I've got a successful business, I'm working for the President, and then go, you know, I'm gonna leave that. And I'm gonna go to a place where I can't speak the language twice. What kind of courage do you find? You have to do that? Like that's, that's a massive confidence level.

Patricia Halaj: 26:06

I actually when people asked me that question said, Didn't you feel afraid? And the funny thing is you do you feel afraid. In every leap of faith, and every milestone, I have done so many changes in my life. I feel so terrified. But even I feel terrified. I do it anyway. And that is the difference when you feel terrified, and you get stuck. And you move. So even you feel the fear. You do it anyway. feeling fear, is nothing wrong with it. It's normal, we're humans, we lay the comfort, we like to feel we're in control. And when we change, and we come out from comfort zones, is normal to feel fearful. But my advice is to pretend take a step back and say, Why are you doing this step forward? Why? When you answer the why the courage kicks in. And it's just make you that leap, make you do that leap of faith. And when you cross the other side, and you find out all the amazing things that you couldn't last if you were not brave enough to cross it. So, of course, fear is normal. And courage is born, is born from fear.

Mark Laurie: 27:52

What is the best advice you've received?

Patricia Halaj: 27:58

I have many advices from amazing people. But I can't remember who gave me this advice but to live the present. Because the present is as it is a present a gift. The past is amazing and is important. Because he has make our life and he's built a beautiful memories. I remember when I was in Canada, it's in your place is one of my very precious memories. That beautiful is no and never seen as no like in Canada before. And we went to the with the dogs and the lovely photo session I had, which until today I treasure and I look at those photographs. And I'm like, wow, I look amazing, then I encourage everybody who could have a session like that to do it. Because the time passes. And you know, these moments that you treasure for yourself is not to share it with anybody else is for you for you to remind yourself that although you change physically through the years, the essence is there. And that was you had the opportunity to have those beautiful memories. But coming back to the advice of living in the present, yes, we cannot also live in the future. The future is not there yet. We can plan and for sure. It's very important to plant but the future is not here yet. So living in today. appreciating what we have what Kathy was caregivers in life givers half plus full rather than look at the empty side. We have hands we have eyes we have mouth was, we have legs, and we have some clothes as well. We don't need anything else, we just have what we need us. So I think is important to believe them. How do you

Mark Laurie: 30:20

approach challenges?

Patricia Halaj: 30:26

Challenges, I approach them with the right attitude. challenges come every single day, one way or another. But what attitude we have towards the challenges is what makes a difference is the way you look at things is the way that you observe and you choose to react. I don't know if I told you a story that there was a man who went to, to send one of his workers to a country. And he he sent shoes. Can you hear he sell shoes. So this man got to this country and in this country, everybody was barefoot. And then the man take the telephone and said, Hey, boss, nobody here used shoes. So we is no way we're going to sell anything here. So the the guy go back and the manager sent another person to, to the same country. And then he says, he this man arrives the second man, right? And he see all these people with the shoes. And immediately he take the fall and say, Hey, boss, you need to open another factory, because everybody here know wearing shoes. So we have a huge market to sell to. So the same situation, different perspectives. And I always think that we have to have the approach of the second one to look at what there is possibilities what the opportunities in the market. And now traveling the world so much do you realize more and more that the way you look at challenges make a huge difference is you look at your focus on solutions you focus on, not on the problem focus on the solution. I did have Anthony Robbins course many, many years ago. And part of the course was to walk on fire, literally walking on fire. When they train you they said don't focus on the fire. If you look at the fire, you will burn. You have to look what is at the end. So you focus so hard, or what is at the end that you don't feel the fire because if you look down, you burn, and they ask you to sign a paper that you are responsible for where you do the fire walking. And indeed, that really works for me for the rest of my life because I don't focus on the fire, I focus on the solutions. And that makes the challenges a little bit easier.

Mark Laurie: 33:19

does indeed, is there something that you believe in that most people disagree with you on?

Patricia Halaj: 33:31

Ie sometimes I encounter people that don't believe in being positive. Positive is not just like hey, don't happy all the time. That's not necessarily positive. Positive is the way you approach things and the like we were saying just before how you see things, even with my own children, sometimes mommy might look nice and say Okay, step back. Step back and think about it. How would you go better if you approach it that way? Or this way? Perspective is everything. It takes a while for people to understand that. But that's the main thing. People is like open look is the world is going the economy. And this is gray and gray and gray and gray and gray. And say yes is gray, gray, gray and gray but we have sand, sand, sand, sand as well. So you choose if it's raining, then dance with the rain. If it's storming, sometimes it stops curbs, not just to start things sometimes storms cause comes in our lives to to clear our path to clear things from our way and to start again. So every season has something just important To look for the good thing, each of them

Mark Laurie: 35:04

will be your three core beliefs that guide you.

Patricia Halaj: 35:09

core beliefs, honesty to yourself, transparency with others, and empathy with other human needs.

Mark Laurie: 35:20

What is transparency with others mean? I've heard that from other people. It's sort of like a

Patricia Halaj: 35:27

transparency. I mean, why no having like a hidden agenda. I think that has been part of my success. In all the markets, I go, you're transparent, this is me. I come in for this, this and this. Can we do business? Or can we don't. And I said, No, no hidden agendas, more, more you to apply that to your business, to your relationships, it works, is a formula that really, really works because people don't like people love people who are transparent, honest, and straightforward. When I say straightforward, doesn't mean you have to insult people, you can have a nylon hand with a silk glove. And is the way sometimes they use, especially in the Middle East, I have to have a dial high with a members of the bar. The only woman of course, but I have my silk glove, which God has gave us this patient feminine touch, that we need to use it to compliment to work with men, we are know out there fighting when we are there to complement with them. And form teams. And that is how I like to work.

Mark Laurie: 36:56

Now you're in a in a row position in that you're on so many high profile boards, diplomat, so you're constantly working with men, what has been your best approach to to be successful, I guess, because you're very, very successful. So what what's your magic approach that you found is the key,

Patricia Halaj: 37:16

the key is not to, to see them and to see this all look better, all of you, wherever you know that, hello, arrogancy I think the secret is to, to be confident, to be humble. And to to to let them know that you are not there to take anybody's job, you're there to add to their equation. Whatever equation that is, could be a project could be a country or the embassy or whatever you are there to contribute. And if your contribution can make this team better, then it will be very happy. And that is my goal. So I make very clear what is my objective from beginning. I'm not here to take anybody's position. I'm sure you must be thinking why the Costa Rican lady come to Europe and come here is doing sitting down here was we a reason why you have been chosen to sit here. So I use your mind. And the reason is because my humble experience, perhaps can help this board to add and to be a better board globally, dodgers regionally or locally, but globally. So most of the institutions I work with, I take them from national to international to global level. That's what I've enjoyed.

Mark Laurie: 38:50

That's how do you get a viewpoint to see things nationally or even locally, and then enlarge that to a global vision? That's it? That's a huge step. How did you acquire that vision? And what tools did you do to go oh, I can see it here we can see this potential.

Patricia Halaj: 39:13

is fascinated is a great question where because when they see a project or a structure that is scalable, then he has to have certain factors to be scalable. Number one, he has to be a product that people need, number one, number two has to be the right team behind it. Because the project can be amazing, but you don't have the right team. You won't happen. So by having positioning the right team positioning, the right marketing, the right strategy and understanding the difference and cultures in different continents and levels, how to cater the same product with different approaches. That wealth of knowledge has come through years of traveling to meet so many people, so this is many factors to take care of in consideration. But when you travel and you meet people more than you meet them, you realize one thing, we all humans, we all feel we all need. We have made some necessities cover with quite a via blacker buyer. So Arabic costumes behind all that is people like you or me. Behind the presidential chair is a man like you woman like me. We all out there with needs is a pyramid I use mentally, the pyramid of Maslow that we all have necessities, basic necessities to cover. And then a sense of belonging, a sense of collect needs a collection, all these kind of necessities are important. And when you when you put that all together, you realize that it's pretty easy. It's pretty easy to make as a global strategy when you when you have all these ingredients.

Mark Laurie: 41:33

Perfect. This has been an amazing conversation. I've known you all these years. And yet, in this last 45 minutes, I've gotten so much more depth from you that I hadn't even seen before. So I'm so grateful that you came on my show today. It's it's been wonderful.

Patricia Halaj: 41:50

You have been part of my journey. And I Thank you always for, for the time of friendship and the time we spent working together was amazing. And I hope many women out there can have the opportunity to, to enjoy the experience. But at the same time, what you're doing right now, for casting women with experiences like myself and others, to share with other women. I think they're so important because sometimes we feel we are on our own is it is me that, that we've seen things this way or the other way. But when we hear women who has been through a struggle, and through many challenges, and through many tears, many situations, but they have made it at the end, then you feel encouraged that it is a little light at the end of the tunnel. And actually it's actually light inside ourselves. It's just to press a button, and the light will be there and we can shine in people's lives like I had the opportunity to do all this time.

Mark Laurie: 42:56

You're amazing. They're incredible.

Patricia Halaj: 43:02

Thank you, Mark, thank you very much. Thank you to all the people listening. The more most welcome to reach out. You have YouTube videos, and you put my name in YouTube and it's in Google and you can find me anywhere.

Mark Laurie: 43:20

Well, thank you for your time today. It's been a delight and a calculator for listeners in the bio section you can read more about Patricia and the links to her videos are down there as well. Thank you for joining us and we'll see you all next week. Bye Patricia.

Patricia Halaj: 43:37

Thank you your work. Goodbye. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you.

Exit speaker: 43:43

This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie. Join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women dossier fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Leigh Ellis and my office media.