Maggie Lam- Risk taker - single mom -

Mark Laurie: 0:07

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie. Hello, it's Mark Laurie here and welcome to fascinating women. This stays a lot of fun because I've got a lady here who has been here. I've been in contact with her for a while and she's got some really interesting background, take her in and find kind of intriguing. Like to introduce Maggie lamb.

Maggie Lam: 0:30

Hi, thank you for opportunity. Yes,

Mark Laurie: 0:34

we're gonna have a lot of fun Magnus, we kind of neat. So you know you're initially not from Canada, though. Right? You've arrived from someplace else?

Maggie Lam: 0:41

Yeah, I'm from Hong Kong. Are we generally good?

Mark Laurie: 0:44

And why did you come from Hong Kong be is always like a mythical city to me. So why did you make the trip to Hong to Canada?

Maggie Lam: 0:50

Wow, that is a part of it. I have to say thank you for my mom and dad gave me the order in saying don't move. And don't talk when I was little. So I was making a point. When I was seven years old. I already know. I am going just somewhere and take all the experience I can have. So and at that point, I was with my husband. And so he bought me here. Since 1991.

Mark Laurie: 1:23

The ninety one? Yeah. And did you find the big difference between Calgary and Hong Kong?

Maggie Lam: 1:31

Oh, it's a big, big difference. And I guess maybe that is coming to two sides of it. Either Personal Activity size or Korea business. I have it I would say two pack of it is very different. So first of all, when I'm in Hong Kong and I Chris crew, great night. I'm like, What am I going to do after grade 12 row and we're property and we'll have a opportunity to go into a university anyway. So I decided to Chris good and green. And so here in Canada, I think most of our people will go into high school and then go to university, they have the opportunity and they have the finance and everything. And that that's one point. And then the other thing because we're so small in Hong Kong, and so besides your pay module and everything is indoor so we plays really well Pimenton and so it's not much of outdoor stuff to do right so here you name it, you can do anything in outdoor right. So that's on the personal side. And Besson has and Korea's I have it ready and you have a way more opportunity it you can work or you can be a self employed. Yes, that's how I see the difference.

Mark Laurie: 2:57

Sleep in you know, we describe yourself as a adventuresome woman. Oh,

Maggie Lam: 3:03

maybe I should put it 1,000% of equity.

Mark Laurie: 3:07

So what shaped that? Like Were you always adventuresome? Always look around the corner? Or did that something develop?

Maggie Lam: 3:14

Well, again, it just because I think it's just a I got marked it from my parents say don't move down top. And when I've aged seven, how could you tell somebody in age seven, and don't move? Don't talk. So I really am like, you know, I and life is all about experience. And I'm going to try once if I don't like it, I don't do it again. But if you don't try it, you lose the opportunity. If you don't take risks, you risk it at all. So I love the life is like a roller coaster. And take all the adventure I can take

Mark Laurie: 3:52

what has been the riskiest adventure you've taken?

Maggie Lam: 3:56

That's a very good question. To be a mother to be a mother.

Mark Laurie: 4:05

That was an answer as expected.

Maggie Lam: 4:09

Because in my whole life, and I feel like growing up from Hong Kong, we don't have a whole lot of a life as like, it's not like in Canada when you go back. As early a question is not like here, or you will make a cookie with your kids and going to play and going into your hockey game, not those. So we pretty much going growing up as your mom and dad tell you what to do so in do so. So until I'm 34 I never thought I will be a mother. But then one day suddenly is I know maybe if you never be a mother, you will never be a woman. So I decided to be a mother because you think about it if it's the mother. Now first of all, you lose one million for one kid, and if you have two kids, so you miss $2 million. So I really taken a risk to be a mother.

Mark Laurie: 5:07

How do we miss $2 million? I understand. But well,

Maggie Lam: 5:12

if you raise the kids, right is a lot of money. Okay, so. So that's how I see it.

Mark Laurie: 5:17

Okay, I understand that math, I understand that math.

Maggie Lam: 5:19

But of course, this is a great investment after all.

Mark Laurie: 5:24

It certainly is. Have you had any spectacular failures, as you're done big risks.

Maggie Lam: 5:30

I do have a lot of area, and I have my clothing store. And I run the for 17. Year. But I run the with my just very, very common sense. I'm a streetsmart. So I just tell myself, Oh, I can run it. And 17 years of experiences is it's a is phenomenal, but I do lose money at the end of it. And then also, I dated a gentleman, I lent him money, and I ended up losing lots of money. So life is a lot of failure. But that too, is the one I think the most I can remember. The

Mark Laurie: 6:13

How do you see failure? Do you see it as as failure unless you get up for what's your what's your definition of failure?

Maggie Lam: 6:19

I think to me failure is you make some wrong decision. And ended up harbor wrong lease out that this failure to me, but I don't see it as a bad thing. So because if you don't have a failure, you wrong roll. So I'll always see when you have a breakdown in life, perfect actually uses the first step, which you bring bricks through and then you grow, right? Because you'd like if you do certain thing is a failure, you make sure you will do better. And you just don't have a one way up. You don't you don't have a one made any more down way. So that's how,

Mark Laurie: 7:00

what is the biggest lesson you've learned for your failures?

Maggie Lam: 7:04

What is the biggest lesson I learn is, I think, listen to yourself anymore. If you have some incident is like, yeah, this doesn't feel good. You should not do it. I think it's a lot of time. Your life, it's taking a chance. But then, you know, inside of you you have some voice and telling you not to do certain thing. But you still do it. Right? somehow someway.

Mark Laurie: 7:35

Learn to listen your voice well. Yeah. I see. We've got street smarts. What do you mean by that? Bring to get that? Well,

Maggie Lam: 7:43

streetsmart eyes seeing it is I am I study in the world of university. So everything is experience. So I always every day, whatever I do, I will ask, what does that mean? And what do I learn about it? You know, I don't speak English when I first arrived. 9091. But I just I will be once one really, really small step. A small hint. Because if I don't speak English, and when I remember the first time when I arrived, what is the table contents? I don't even know what is the table contents? Okay, then I Okay, so maybe now you need to learn more English if you want to stay in Canada. So I decided to work for white people before I have in my business. I work for white people learn more Anglos. And then now is that oh, you know what, I need to start today white guy, then I can have a more opportunity to have a conversation in English. Right? I did go to school. And so I just really I am worry wishto and I also learn things really fast. That I think I can see that that is a street smart way of the language. Even though you might think like a lot of people think I speak English. I love it though. Because like, you know, the Chango does is what percent I speak to language.

Mark Laurie: 9:18

It does. I've never heard that phrase before. I certainly do. I learned a lot of stuff new. It's a good source today. Who inspires you? Where you get your inspiration from you

Maggie Lam: 9:29

me and like maybe a hero hero? Well, you know, being a Chinese and of course two people I mean, Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee and how they put themselves in the world and as a as an Asian I pretty well Lo and discipline they do right? So in life. I think a lot of things is one is adventure, but you still have to have a discipline to get where you want to go to

Mark Laurie: 9:59

focus Uh huh. Have you always had big dreams? You strike me as a person who has big dreams?

Maggie Lam: 10:05

Do I have a big dream? I do have a really big dream. Because you know, what? Can you feel better? Before the day before you die evening? Oh, are you really maximize yourself? Do you have anything regret? Did you create any legacy for your children to remember you? The people around you? So I think that is the best is the day before you die? And you know, you have no regrets. So, yes, nothing wrong should be a big dream.

Mark Laurie: 10:41

So they're really good. Yeah. Risk is an intriguing term because people who risk can't fear, feel failure. Yes. If you have any sense of failure, you can't be a rescue person. Why

Maggie Lam: 10:53

did you why we true. But I always I learned this, this sentence is really retreating me is you have two choices in life. You can either have a piece of body and just go to coffin. Or second choice is you have a roller coaster, get all the scar. As long as you have insurance. Then you're okay. So you have all the memory, right? So when you're exciting to do a roller coaster, then you know, we need you just have more life and more memory. And you're okay to fail, you just get back up again.

Mark Laurie: 11:33

It's again back up that makes a difference, isn't it? Like you can fail, but you only really fail if you don't get up? Yes, I

Maggie Lam: 11:38

Yes, I agree that yes, that's true. Yeah,

Mark Laurie: 11:41

that's a tough lesson to learn a lot of people, they're, they're afraid of failing and stuff. Yeah. But really, as long as you get back up again, you're fine.

Maggie Lam: 11:48

Well, you know, but the other thing. So I think add on to a lot of addition, when you say failure is when you have a failure, you have to be vulnerable as well. You have to tell yourself and accept that you're a failure. Because if you don't, and you pretend, then you will always in the P 10. Mo and you will never break through that break down. Have a failure, you understand that? That's the very end, we really look into why why you fail. Right? I came

Mark Laurie: 12:24

across a phrase with when Philip framed it this way. And he said there's only two things in life. There's either learning moments or their success. Yeah. And he did. Because again, failure is something that is only failure if you see it that way. And then you sort of stopped or what are you curious about right now? What got your curiosity going? What

Maggie Lam: 12:42

am I curious right now? Um, oops, I guess what I can really create for the community. Actually, I have a program and working towards what, and stand for a solo parent. And that is the go to make solo parents. It's like a holiday. Because we have we have a Father's Day we have a Mother's Day. Why don't we have a single solo apparently, because we do both job because I mean, my my, my, my, my history and I become a widow. So I always stand for a solo parents so why can we acknowledge people is doing a two job?

Mark Laurie: 13:34

Yeah, that makes good sense. That is got to be tough wearing two hats. Yeah,

Maggie Lam: 13:39

I would the the good thing is though, you have an opportunity to do anything and everything so I literally I have a shirt and say ask me anything I could do that with you. Because you have to find all the results and right away and you have a very short period of time to to get things planted solution what

Unknown: 13:59

three beliefs guide you or your core belief belief something that's your your SIR his belief one of them.

Maggie Lam: 14:09

Gap belief is one of it because it's coming from Asian a lot of time. I mean, if I look back, if I focus on what I'm not good at, I can find lots of things I'm not good at or good by. So but then I could have that's what we call is I have my point of view I get trapped it never is good enough because my English is not good enough. And I'm not gonna be good as somebody is maybe speak English here and so on. So I have to believe my core. My core body is I have to believe then I can move one step ahead.

Mark Laurie: 14:55

So believe believe in yourself believe in the

Maggie Lam: 14:56

Yeah, believe myself and my self is everything. moment

Mark Laurie: 15:00

Okay, know do you have two other beliefs that you got together. Do

Maggie Lam: 15:04

I have any belief like more like a value, oh, your

Mark Laurie: 15:07

school values sure three values, integrity, integrity, integrity

Maggie Lam: 15:12

for yourself. If you don't have an integrity yourself, it will always follow you. Right now I'm getting to the point after a lot of personal growth, Salah it is doesn't matter what the people around you what they say, or what they do, is you Everything is inside of you. So when I have integrity, you're radiant, just that. People know, people just want to hang out with you. Because they know, they can be so weird with you, right? And so if you don't have integrity, nothing work. Makes good sense. And another one. Give me some multiple choices worth? I'll reach out.

Mark Laurie: 15:58

I guess there's there's a bunch. There's a sense of community, there's honesty, there's asking for the future communication. Those are a variety of values that kind of had people hang their hats on? Out, um,

Maggie Lam: 16:13

I think adding value in the marketplace isn't? Yeah, so adding value in the marketplace is really something it's going back to the bigger picture. And when you work yourself to work toward through marketplace, and everything is going to be better. You

Mark Laurie: 16:40

strike beep you use the word marketplace, but I suspect you bring value to anything that you do personal relationships, family, your everything. I think that's a core thing you do.

Maggie Lam: 16:48

Ya, yeah. Because I being what I do. Every day, I'm meeting new people. And it's fascinating because the people I know, and then I connected with the people. And for no reason. Also, one thing is called give again. And then the second is adding value on the marketplace. And Drim wrong say that and say, if you do a job, we all make a living a job you make a living. But if you are adding value on the marketplace, you are making a fortune.

Mark Laurie: 17:24

So yeah, that's a nice twist of that phrase. I like that. That is really good. What's the most spontaneous thing that you've done?

Maggie Lam: 17:31

Wow. Let me think. Um, I have to say, solo travel. So I like to traveling solo by myself. I'm not afraid on anything.

Mark Laurie: 17:51

So So what does that look like? You just wake up one day going? I'm gonna go traveling by myself today book a ticket, or how do you? How do you approach that?

Maggie Lam: 17:58

Oh, so just a little bit of one year I, I would listening to myself always. Right. And so one year I was in Hong Kong, and I spent some time with my mother. And then I'm like, Oh, I'm in this world already. So I might as well just go to beat now. So I just booked to book the flight to go to Vietnam. So I did it. From the south to the north. But I don't know what is happening. We're in bitrate. And so I'm just like, Okay, so let's just from this to this point, and then just one word 111 point at a time. Yeah.

Mark Laurie: 18:40

How have you found life balance life? Work balance go.

Unknown: 18:44

Okay, so work life balance. Hmm, that was a really tough question. I think the most tough question right now. Because what I do is I don't even feel like I'm working. Right? So every day, I'm having fun when I'm working. Because one of my things is they Oh, if I didn't get to play it, it's protecting people. I'm doing both so it was really I just kind of combined two things together. But I make it happen though. I make everything my life alignment of what I who I am and what is meaning to me and the time and freedom and everything so yeah, so it's a very tough question. So I just like I don't know when is playing when is working because when I'm working is I'm having fun with my clients. So it's kind of the other way am I to

Mark Laurie: 19:38

your intuition. How did you . . have you always listened to your intuition, your inner voice or is it something you acquired the skill to?

Maggie Lam: 19:45

I listen more now. And so a couple years ago and I was have an opportunity where for personal growth and learning something is how to communicate and also how to listen So when you say intuition is, right now I'm in the place when somebody's talking to me, I, particularly I will ask myself, listen, to understand, not listen to reply, because they that make a difference because a lot of time, when we doing a communication, people will just already faded out, they were already kind of planning what is to reply, then you're not passing. So now I have an opportunity when I talking to anybody, I have more time I can be passive and then listen my intuition. So is everything around it and the conversation, the words, and the body language, everything's make a difference and how that feel. I think.

Mark Laurie: 20:53

If someone should ask you how to how they kill us, they're their own intuition that trust that's a near voice guides, people a lot of time just don't pay a lot attention to it. One of the kinds of sounds I guess, how does your body talk to you? How does the Intuit intuition? Communicate?

Maggie Lam: 21:09

US me in different ways?

Mark Laurie: 21:10

I'm not sure. When you're listening to your gut reaction situation comes up and you're, you've got choice to go forward, not go forward. How do you? How do you feel? What your intuition is trying to tell you? Okay,

Maggie Lam: 21:25

so I guess, if it's something I'm doubting it, I'm going to ask myself maybe a dozen times. And then is it yes or no? So I will kind of cognate Is that okay, so now the yes is more than the No. Then I would go for it. No, I guess that is how I make a decision on it.

Mark Laurie: 21:47

So it just kind of feels it. Yeah, that makes that makes good sense, though. Yeah. Is there any characters you've got that you think set you aside from other Asians? Oh,

Maggie Lam: 21:58

by the time I can't even, I can't even remember. I'm Asian. Most of it unless the Chinese foot involving I think I'm really out there to try to really experience the the Western world so because I do anything in everyday activities. Why? And from from the sky to the bottom and everything? Because really, I take the I think in Asian culture, we have to two different character. One is very conservative. Oh, no. My mom tells me not to do Zandi. They OB careful That's my mom. So always be careful this Be careful that but I'm the bad girl. I'm like, No, I'm not going to be Be careful. And so my character is I will always like, say something I would do it. I will be very sponsored. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's try that. Let's try that. Let's try that. So I'm always trying something new.

Mark Laurie: 23:03

There you given if you pass that viewpoint on to your son guessing.

Maggie Lam: 23:07

My son and my daughter, I have a twin twins. Oh,

Mark Laurie: 23:10

sweet. So have you passed that? Risk of life to them?

Maggie Lam: 23:16

They are very independent. And they take risks. Yeah, I guess we because we all coming from knowing life is so short, being growing up without daddy. And so they are very independent. Yeah. And by the way, they are not Asian as well too. Okay, they have Asian and half Italian. And so they don't speak my language. This is how much I want to get rid of the Chinese side of me. So I so

Mark Laurie: 23:49

that's a that's an unusual mix. I've noticed you have any because even you at some point in the world in your widow and your kids are 5050 kind of thing that create additional problems for you the other things you have to navigate

Maggie Lam: 24:03

while my when my husband die and my kid is three and a half so I am 100% My mommy and daddy so it's no 5050 And but I did put them to Chinese school then I don't have any Chinese around me to speak Cantonese and speaking Cantonese you always have to practice so they went to Chinese school just for a very short time and I wasn't able to talk to them so they don't speak my language

Mark Laurie: 24:33

but you still speak Cantonese yourself?

Unknown: 24:34

Am I a myself? I speak Cantonese but not that often. This is the other thing too. That's my opinion now don't don't call me racist. Okay, but

Mark Laurie: 24:44

I know that you're not so ok.

Unknown: 24:46

Asian I might my head some time we might have a little bit more conversation about the other people. And I think as me I'm a little bit more Western i I'm more toward shuba So new growth? And what about business? And one is about creating? What are our business life? So then I hang out with a little bit more lighter color people. Okay?

Mark Laurie: 25:14

That's I don't think that's much of a racist thing as a business choice thing. You're one of the things I've learned early on was to spend time with people who have the knowledge I need to have. Yeah. And so wherever that road takes me is where I want to go. And it's, it's at a colorblind stage, most often, you're in a society where the people have got that are going to have different colors, such as the color thing, you've got colors and religion and there's a whole bunch of things that they can

Maggie Lam: 25:39

I just making fun of myself

Mark Laurie: 25:41

appreciate? What's the best advice you've received.

Maggie Lam: 25:47

According, give me what what are you

Mark Laurie: 25:50

say business line and personal advice for someone said, oh, you know, the good way that look, the world is this way. Or always look up some advice that you either took to heart that's or helped shaped you?

Maggie Lam: 26:03

Oh, okay. Yeah. So this then, I was say, and one thing I stuck in my mind is, you meet people and your journey for for what is that? Reason, season, and lifetime. So most of people were thinking lifetime, maybe somebody you get marry or your long term, partner and so on. But for me, actually, what I learned is my lifetime, it changed me and half the transformation is the person I hated the most. I almost like want to cure myself, because I was like, oh, okay, I did a bait mistake, I lent him money. And when I'm doing this as the money should beat for my kid, but then when I realized, like it literally at one point, I was thinking, Oh my God, I am worthless, I make this big mistake. So I was like, okay, Megan, you have two choices. One, you're gonna just kill yourself and shame on you. Or that action. And the second choice is now you're going to be have to, from the ground up to to get rid of anything and everything you don't want to feel, though I choose the second choice. And so that's why 2014 I start to do a lot of personal world Samurai, investing in myself, nothing else. So because of that, so today, I can run my life very powerfully, no matter what.

Mark Laurie: 27:39

When your ticket could have been through a lot of self courses as well. And so was there moments when you're because you're having to confront yourself in the self courses, like that's where the growth is that correct? Mm hmm. What was the hardest thing that you confronted in yourself? Wow,

Maggie Lam: 27:54

we creation requires that we creation. And so when, when I have my childhood, I have a lot of sexual abuse. And getting to the point for me is like no man's is wanting to get into my path. Okay. So we have a one technique is called we creation, okay? So literally, you tell the other person, your partner, exactly, whatever you can think of as detail as possible, okay? So then the other person like the livery, you have so emotional because you'd like this is the worst time to look. So as much as you can, right? As you can cry as much as you want to, then the other people weak created me, as that moment as that person then now, I as a person, me, now, you helping me to create that moment, the moment I got, I got wait. And so now I say, I accept what it is, whatever it is, and whatever it is not. And I commit it to move forward. Until then, that moment, it will be always catching you catching you. You always harbored that moment. So that person helped me to recreate that would do it with me, and maybe three, four time until I really get it. I wouldn't. I'm accepting it. So then now I can put a different lens on one scenario, then move on. So that is a that's what I think is the most transformation. I get all a bit

Mark Laurie: 29:39

about machines because he started earlier about your opinion of men. Has that changed because of the process? That

Unknown: 29:45

is a very good question actually change it quite well. Until this point. I say to myself, I don't need a man for 20 years and when people ask me, and when I'm in a restaurant What are you allergic to? I'm allergic to man. So that's what I say. So for 20 years, that was you. Yeah. Okay, so, So, but I did one more. A trauma drama traumas. Samla were for one lady to do a work with me one more time. And he say, That's to say, Maggie. So when you think the man, just want to get in your pants, that is not a really nice feeling. In life, what you'd like to do, it will make you happy. I say dancing. Then she'd say, Tell me more. Then I discover when I dancing, is the man can put me like a flower. That's a bath. I'm a flower, but you cannot offend me, then you can make me feminine, but you can't offend me. So now, when I meet new people, then I can use that moment, instead of Oh, yeah, you just want to get into my pan. So then now it changed the dynamic of how I think about men. So because until I feel the loving feeling of demand, I will not have a man. Right. Yeah. So that is been journey of how I transform how I see men.

Mark Laurie: 31:21

That's well, yeah. Your husband? Did you meet him in Hong Kong? I'm guessing. Does he

Maggie Lam: 31:25

know? Um, oh, well, good for you go back to that story gonna tell you no, actually, I met him here. When we dancing. So I asked him to dance and he drinking our orange juice. And I'm like, Oh, perfect. This is a good boyfriend, husband and father. So somebody in how often you can see somebody drinking orange juice in the bar. So that's how I met him. So also, because of child abuse, and my childhood, all my boyfriend, or husband, my husband, I picked them. Like, if I go out, I always get paid. But I don't want them to pick me. I always pick somebody is more low key, because then now when I picked them, I am in control. So I know what's going on. Right?

Mark Laurie: 32:24

So just going back to serve a conversation. Did you leave Hong Kong by yourself to come over here?

Maggie Lam: 32:29

Oh, no, sorry. I didn't clarify that. So 9091 My first Chinese husband bring me here. Okay. We're together for two or three years. And then I choose to stay here until I choose to stay here. And when we divorce I just asked for one thing I didn't get his money or anything as a one thing I asked you it just to let me stay in Canada. Yeah. So yeah, the my first husband and then I stayed at here at least maybe a year until I a second marriage.

Mark Laurie: 33:08

That's wild that this will be the true point of your life would deserve. Like, is there any point to go this this was the fork in the road I took this path is the forecourt, any of those kinds of situations. You need to ask me isn't doing so what they are is, as you're traveling through life, which is Alfie, you're in, you're in China, Hong Kong, and the fork of the road was stay or come to Canada. So you came to Canada? Did you have another fork in the road? Oh, no, we have two choices in front of you. And it's one of those defining moments, and then you picked one.

Maggie Lam: 33:42

What I would say maybe reason reasonably and of course my kids is become adult. And so I'm like, I have a house. And I'm really good area should I keep it or should I not keep it so 2019 I did a big transformation and because that COVID And the business is our business changed everything online, right? So I'm like, Okay, so now the the costs row, what am I going to do? So I decided to get rid of anything doesn't serve me the second time. So I get rid of a house. Give me a car. Give me a boyfriend everything at once in 2019.

Mark Laurie: 34:31

That's dramatic. Yeah, no, it's not Oh, no, did you hold was a stone or with cash? Or was it a complete Shakedown? Like how, like, that's a really dramatic point in your life to do that.

Maggie Lam: 34:46

Yeah, but why not? Yeah.

Mark Laurie: 34:47

So when you did that, what was the light coming out of that? What was your your life? What did your life look like when you did all that? And after you did all that, right,

Maggie Lam: 34:55

good question. I will say when you bold enough to do all the transformation. And if you listen to your gut, and that is something just for you, nobody else, and you will always come out feeling good, because you are loving yourself, and listening to yourself. Might not

Mark Laurie: 35:20

so hard thing to do for people, I think the average person does that,

Maggie Lam: 35:23

I think is a hard thing for people, because a lot of thing a lot of people will stop before they even try it. Right? And they always will think of the we saw what is what is the bad result rather than, Oh, what is a possibility? So I'm always learning what is a possibility? And if not, and keep creating a keep creating, even though maybe not directly will be the way you want it. But in directly we'll go there. But you still need to get the motion going. If you don't have the motion, then nothing's going to work.

Mark Laurie: 36:05

How can you get the motion going? If a person is stuck, if you're talking to somebody there, and they're stuck there, they've got the rain by fear. And they they can see how they should change, but they can't start the process? How would you advise him start the process? If

Maggie Lam: 36:18

somebody's got stopped in the motion? Okay. So I would say ask yourself, What is the worst scenario? If you step, let a small step, what really can be a worst scenario? Oh, that actually is not that bad. So let's, let's go for it. Right. And then also maybe creating something, maybe longer term. So let's say if you don't take this motion, what will happen in 10 years later, the lockout a little bit more longer term. And so that might pull you a little bit more towards the motion. And that I learned the other one is, when you feel like you just don't want to do anything, can't get backward 54321 action

Mark Laurie: 37:09

like that. That was good. How did you make position where you because it sounds like in your early years, you're sort of running on fear based on what your parents have put into you and your society? How did you change out of that? Because that was that was slow growth? Or do you become more of a risk taker and less of a fearful person all at once? Or was it a process?

Maggie Lam: 37:31

Always definitely a slow growth, and then also the patient? Don't give myself too much of a hard time? Because I do get myself hot time. It's like, oh, you know, I do have the message and saying, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for very long time. But then I shut up, shut up, shut up. So I just say, you know, when you able to not make things mean, just leave your life, then you can enjoy inside of the light. And yeah, so I'm just not giving myself a hard time. It's a slow grow. Yeah. But allow yourself to slow grow and listen to yourself.

Mark Laurie: 38:18

Yeah, that's big value to do that. It's hard. I think listen to yourself and facing your fears is a big, it's a big challenge. And they asked for some people, which is kind of wild, you think people understand you not your language, but understand what drives you? What makes you your viewpoint of the world.

Maggie Lam: 38:33

If the people don't understand me, then they are not my friend.

Mark Laurie: 38:38

I'll get to spending time trying to educate them or convince them or just leave them? Well, I

Maggie Lam: 38:45

do. And I do have a I like to have a conversation with a PICO Well, for a little bit here and there to invite them to look within and not outside.

Mark Laurie: 38:59

How's conversations go? The people take you up on that inside and explore it slowly.

Maggie Lam: 39:05

And if they take it, they take it they take it and no right time, no bad time. And because when I have a conversation with people, and I find it, some of the tips I use is quite useful with as well is I don't make people right or wrong. I'm not necessary need to be right. I'm not making you wrong, but just share with me by sharing with me you can listening to yourself and no right and wrong. That's one thing and no good or bad. Just a conversation. You know, so if I can wring the minds a little bit so here's how Oh yeah, maybe you're right. Then I put a smile on somebody's face, right? Yeah.

Mark Laurie: 39:53

How old are your children now.

Maggie Lam: 39:54

They are 24

Mark Laurie: 39:56

24 That's a fun age the worlds. . .. They're just a world of change, are they similar?

Maggie Lam: 40:02

Similar to what they do the

Mark Laurie: 40:05

likes, dislikes, how they approach the role of those mirror with them? Are they different?

Maggie Lam: 40:09

I will say they both are very independent, and they manage it. Problem and Solution really well. So, are they similar? They both are very good looking like mommy.

Mark Laurie: 40:24

They must be good luck in there. And there's your dad. Yep. That is as great. Where do you see yourself going to? In five and 10 years? What's your vision for yourself? Five

Maggie Lam: 40:39

and 10 year, I will have extra property. And I definitely will have something where meaningful for the solo parents? Yeah. And then my business I will be in a next level.

Mark Laurie: 40:57

Your sole parent? Do you have a vision of what that's gonna look like? Here's a still put it together? Do you have a mental design of what it should be like?

Maggie Lam: 41:06

As a solo parent? Yeah. I think one of the message I want to give it to solo parent, there's, it will be tough. But honestly, if you come out as a solo parents, what else is a big deal? What else you cannot take, and then your kids most likely won't be phenomenal. Because they are learning from a very young age. They already know they they can do a lot of thing. Not like like, you know, they have the opportunity they have to take care of themselves. So that's how I see as a solo parents. Yeah.

Mark Laurie: 41:44

Do you see yourself as a pragmatic person or a dreamer?

Maggie Lam: 41:49

Tell me a little bit more the first word how to what is that mean? Medic

Mark Laurie: 41:53

is the scribe pragmatic. It's doing this thing, practical things. So you're more practical based.

Maggie Lam: 42:03

I think I'm more practical. I don't dream big enough. I think I should dream bigger still. Even though people around me my thinks I do. I am a big dreamer. But I still learning how to dream bigger. The world is is unlimited. Right? So it's Gaius unlimited though?

Mark Laurie: 42:22

How you teach yourself to dream bigger.

Maggie Lam: 42:25

I need to maybe watch more TV learn more, read more and yeah. So and talk to people more and more or hang out with other people the five people around you as influential as I so. Yeah, be listening more and meet more.

Mark Laurie: 42:47

What are the five people around you look like? How would you describe your circle of friends your circle of influence?

Maggie Lam: 42:54

Um, first of all, no gossip. And no, I'm just kidding. And so it will be have a lot of involving possibility and growing for sure. And they will have their Wow. Now what I say wealth. I don't mean money. There's a lot of people I think see wealth is equal to money right away to me if somebody Wow, wealthy take a lot for some of these wealthy the meaning this person will have a system in their life and with all the integrity, planning and everything. So I think that is wild. Because how that supposed to mean what else? I have to be fun. You have you had no fun than just talking work. And that doesn't work either. And adventure. Right? So again, if you if you don't risk your visit at all in your life that's kind of pretty much yeah,

Mark Laurie: 44:09

that sounds pretty good. How do you define adventure? When you say your friends are adventurous? And then you're adventurous and what does that mean? What does that look like?

Maggie Lam: 44:19

I think adventures The first step is you have to say yes to most everything. And then you can find out what is you don't like as a no right. So that's an adventure Yeah, that's pretty much just say yes to most everything to try once. Sweet.

Mark Laurie: 44:42

Yeah, this has been great. I enjoy this immensely. Now, uh, tomorrow to look at what you do do now one of the things besides your dream of the single woman you'd like to look after people's insurance,

Maggie Lam: 44:54

correct? Yes. And, but it's a different kind of insurance, which is I post Willie hate it and trends good. But until I see this company how they really do think differently. Yeah, that sounds

Mark Laurie: 45:08

good. I'm happy to give information to us. And we'll have that in the bio section so people can follow up with you and see where that kind of goes. Yeah, sure. Any final comments from our interview today?

Maggie Lam: 45:18

Um, this is a very good experience. And I didn't know I can talk that much. And I didn't know one that funny. So,

Mark Laurie: 45:28

I thought you are hilarious. Yeah, I suspect to a higher CRT. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Maggie's been at the light. It's been great. And what else? We'll catch the next one. Oh, by now. Yes. Thank you so much yes.

Unknown: 45:49

This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie. Join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women dossier fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Leigh Ellis and my office media.