Claudia Martens -Trainer-Speaker -Confidence Builder -Focused

introduction: 0:08

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie. Well,

Mark Laurie: 0:14

hello, everyone, and welcome back to fascinating women. This is a really cool session. This is Claudia Martin's you're talking with today and spent a long time I met her when she's starting her speaking company. So it goes back quite a ways, and she has covered a lot of ground since then I thought you might enjoy some for perspectives. Welcome, Claudia. Thank you, Mark. You've been a busy girl, tell us a little bit highlights maybe four things from your past the sound of interesting.

Claudia Martins: 0:46

Four things in my past? Well, first of all, I am a second generation Chinese. Born in Calgary, Alberta. And my public speaking journey pretty much started when I started speaking English, my parents put me to work, they're immigrants, and I'm the eldest, I got to go first. So that's an interesting fact. But the thing is, I also dive into different things down the road when it comes to expressing myself and that was frequently frequently going on stages. When I was in my early teens, and then I would enjoy doing acting courses, which I wasn't allowed to do when I was in high school. My parents also really focused on my academics. And so I took, I call them boring courses, all the sciences I had to do typing because they thought that was a very useful skill, which I do agree according to use it nowadays, but they also put me to playing piano. My mom loves the sound of piano, and I like music, I wouldn't say Kiana would be my first choice. But that definitely started my musical background. And that actually gave me the ability to incorporate even with the public speaking side, just the ability to be dynamic, because it's like a song. And and I utilize my musical background to help people to know how to slow down to get louder, to pick up the pace that they need to and to be like a song because you're using words. And the fourth thing I guess I can share is I also speak Cantonese, it's my second language, but it is when I exposed to also being around my immigrant family and they're from Hong Kong, so their primary language is Cantonese. And I also speak another language.

Mark Laurie: 2:45

That is cool. Now is Cantonese, a hard language to learn to speak?

Claudia Martins: 2:50

I would say that if you've never dived into any Chinese language development, it wouldn't be as easy I say Mandarin and may have words that are pronounced with ease. In comparison to the Cantonese Cantonese and Mandarin will sound very different from each other. And there's there will be some commonalities with words. If you say yes AP, you say this one word. And then the person translate to Mandarin and the other canteens you'll he'll hear the similarities with the pronounciation different per.

Mark Laurie: 3:30

Wow, that is fascinating. I struggle with the second line, I started with English. The second language. I try. I find if I've gone someplace and I've tried to fumble my way through it. There's a lot of help, like they appreciate if you're another country. I've traveled about 16 countries, that even if you don't have the language, if you if you try to communicate in the language, they they'll sort of give you allowances because they have fun with you. Yes. So as you've evolved, what three beliefs guide you the most, but gets you through your path.

Claudia Martins: 4:04

Three beliefs. And the one that well number one is I know I've been created with gifts and skills and those gifts and skills, it's a choice. So the other belief is knowing when to choose and choosing is I've got a quote that I really enjoy that comes with choices. But basically it says that the decisions you make sure the choices you make, they essentially make who you are, and choices that you choose may not be the ultimate and that's the thing is that it's open to more choices as you click on one. So if your firm on knowing that this is the choice of moving forward, then you have a direction and then that will lead to further choices to make. So Knowing that I am here for a reason, knowing that I have the ability to choose, those beliefs then stem into my my third core belief, which is meaningful action, when you're taking action with intention and backed by meaning or purpose. I believe that's the journey to fulfillment.

Mark Laurie: 5:20

that is action with purpose to get distracted with them. Because that's a very linear deadline approach. If you find you get distracted as you as you're able to kind of keep that straight line.

Claudia Martins: 5:35

At first, it was because I didn't have it defined yet. And that's back to that whole conversation of Do you know, what your calling is? And do you even know why you're put on this earth? And I, I've had the opportunity to really dive into those specific questions, whether it's in a classroom setting, or just in my personal life, reflection, and Wednesday, realize that I'm here to make a difference, specifically empowering voices with confidence through public speaking. It's not hard to then know when to say no. is that's the choice part. Knowing when to say no. And how many noes. So that your Yes, becomes that confident or that true? Yes. Because it is really hard to say yes to one thing, and that's where knowing that okay, you know, my purpose is to do this, and my calling is to take action in this area, then, if anything that comes into my life, it does not serve that particular purpose. It's an automatic No. And then my Yes, becomes clearer and clearer. As you says, linear Yes, it is. And it does have its pivots that shift along the way. But I know my destination, when once you define and are solid with that destination, then being able to make those choices that align with that, in some ways come easy, but it's easier said than done.

Mark Laurie: 7:07

I imagine if you'd look back when you started saying no to things, and embracing your particular yeses. That was hard, but you're finding it's as you've gotten through, it's becoming easier and easier to identify and go Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Because we're a habit and I struggle.

Claudia Martins: 7:23

Yes, absolutely. Because then it's a discipline of the mind, just like anything. Choices is is an another access to disciplining the mind. You know, we can say yes and no, randomly if you like, but if you've got an objective, or you got that purpose, that's anchoring behind these choices, then being able to say the yes and no, in a pretty quick manner, is what comes available when you're clear. And so yes, through the process of getting that clarity for myself, and once I became clear, then it is not that hard to say yes, no, it's almost like okay, choice comes forward. Yes. No, and I'll say it right. And oftentimes, it isn't No. And so that that Yes. Because the time for the yes is so precious. I want to give it the time that it requires.

Mark Laurie: 8:16

So I'd imagine that as you evolved through this, yes. No actually has a book called yes, no making better decisions. It's a little skinny, but it's incredible book, it really is good. Anyway, my question was, people start to know that's a characteristic of you that if they ask you a question, that it's very quick yes or no definition. So that must help process that

Claudia Martins: 8:41

Oh, yes, yes. That makes people get to their their ultimate yes or no faster if they're asking for direction on where to go if they wanting to develop public speaking or they want to work with me. And even just to work with me yes or no, that becomes rather quick through this process that I take them through and myself as well.

Mark Laurie: 9:03

That is a personal level I love it. What do you what personal traits you wish you had? wished I had?

Claudia Martins: 9:16

The ability to stretch time to be infinite?

Mark Laurie: 9:22

That's a good, that's a trait so much as a act of science.

Claudia Martins: 9:28

Yeah, I can make it a triat I suppose if I can bend time in that manner. But yes, I think really, ultimately is that the trait is to not have limits because of time. Stretch them as far as I can

Mark Laurie: 9:48

yeah, make maximum use of it. Some people encounter us by monitoring where they keep track what to do every 15 minutes or something. And it's quite an eye opener whenever you do that process and you discover Are the two places that you whittle away time without realizing

Claudia Martins: 10:06

the time? Yep.

Mark Laurie: 10:08

I'm not sure what the age is it keeps on shifting is when pipeline changes. But I believe there's an age where you suddenly feel you have more time behind you than you had ahead of you. So when you're young, doesn't matter, you've got all this time in front of you just, you could just start an issue. And then there's a point we start to sense there's not as much time ahead of you then cross a barrier, I think, for each person is different, depending with their belief of their passing is going to be, then you suddenly feel that you every moments more precious because you know, you've got less than them, you can see the horizon or sense the horizon. Does that make sense?

Claudia Martins: 10:47

Oh, definitely. Yeah, so even to expand on that thought is, in many ways, how common Claudia was developed. And when we met back in 2017, and this was birth, literally at that event, I really was thinking about those things. Although I was gifts, I guess many ways I started young. So for me to come to see a decision about what am I gonna leave behind? When I'm no longer on this earth, I was in my 30s. So you know, that's relatively young, if you were to say, When do people start thinking about these things, but I did begin thinking about these things. I'd say probably in my 20s, even and then it started to formulate into something more concrete in my 30s. And the inspiration behind that, I would say, It's just I've always been attuned to people far beyond my age. As teachers and mentors in my life, when I was, say, in Sunday School at church, I did not attend the school or I was not with my age range, I wouldn't be going into so if I was, say, 1213, I would be entering an adult class where there would be people in their 40s 50s. And it was because I was very interested to hear their perspective. I only know mine was immature. And it was it wasn't going to be one that had a lot of experience base behind it. And so I was always interested to learn from people 23 years older, and it was not just in that setting, I noticed when I was at work, my first corporate job. And that was in my early 20s, the mentor I got was actually a colleague of my dad's, we worked at the same company, my father and I, and his colleague is like, in his age, like, you know, 40s, maybe late 40s. So 20 years ahead, and, and then what she told me was more about life lessons, it wasn't really so much about doing the job, but it was just like how to navigate through life, how to think with sensibility, how to, you know, never judge the book by its cover, like giving me those nuggets of wisdom. And so I find that that's what inspires me is that wisdom itself, wisdom I get from people that are willing to be my mentors. And I find that this one I've noticed is those who are older, and they realize that there's this time switch, now they've got limited time, what are they gonna do? They are very open and willing to mentor you. And I've been very blessed to have these and, and they've given me a lot to think about. And so when I really everything that I do, whether it's even making choices, it comes from that perspective, is it wise? Is there a long term trajectory with what I say or do and act? Because that's really what matters is that it's not the short term, it's the long term, it's a long game.

Mark Laurie: 14:00

How does a person find a mentor.

Claudia Martins: 14:07

That's a good question. For me, I it, I will first know that I need one. So it's a personal decision back to that again, but the whole choice thing, when I realized I need help, or I don't have all the answers in a certain area, then I seek out mentors now they're not always physically available. And so then I look into books to look into podcasts and look into quotes or sometimes lyrics from songs have a lot of insight that I learned from and if I am fortunate enough, and I need a person that wants to mentor me in that area, then I will ask like I'm, I'm, I initiate a lot and that's partially why I see that I have a gifting around just speaking out because they just do that all the time doesn't take a lot of thinking beforehand. I don't really I just move forward, I initiate and then usually I get an A Yes. Because again, like if if it's a person that I see, probably is has had the experience I'm looking for, and like have a conversation just to check in if they do. And if the answer is yes, then the next question. Not too far behind that would be, would you be open to be a mentor? Can I have one on one on one time with you? Can I pick your brain at certain things and have further discussions that are more deep dive in nature?

Mark Laurie: 15:37

When you do mentoring, how much time do you spend with your mentor? Like, I can't imagine the person that oh, great, here's a half a day like What? What? How you sort of politely absorb their time?

Claudia Martins: 15:48

Well, it will depend on availability. And that also comes to me to Vina, I definitely have to work a calendar work for me, it's, it's kind of like my, my right hand, if you say, It very much depends on availability. So sometimes it could be anywhere from a quick 15 minutes to a focus session, that's anywhere from an hour, but I also like doing things with my mentors, if they have common interests. So if it's walking, hiking, enjoying a meal, having a extended coffee, I try to incorporate that. So it's not so formal, it's not so business like and, and really getting to know this mentor, right. Like it's not just a third party relationship, it's truly a friendship and truly something that I appreciate from those relationships. And in many ways that that happens with some of my students, if it goes into a one on one type situation, and I get to know them more like it becomes more than just a mentor mentee, it becomes definitely a lasting friendship that evolves and forms and becomes expansive over time.

Mark Laurie: 17:05

Would you say your product of being of nurture nature? Do you think you arrived with a particular approach to the world? Or do you think it's your parents sort of shaped that?

Claudia Martins: 17:17

I would say first it was nature. And then as experienced dance came and I needed to make independent decisions, then it was definitely more of the the nurturer. And it would be, I wouldn't say society would dictate a lot of what I do. I mean, it was, when it comes to nurture, what nurture what does that mean, right? For me to nurture would be going back to those core values, and knowing what I stand for and defining those, and whether they align or they don't align, and that's how I dictate my life in a sense and conduct my life. And it's clarity becomes crystal. And that became that over time, then that nurture in the sense of the clarity, which is backed by say, the mentors that I have in my life books, podcasts, all that good stuff, all the wisdom that I've been received, like, all that comes to light, and then it starts to shape. This, that whole trajectory of what I want to do with my life. And so I would say, nature at first and then nurture, but it can't take the nature away, right? Like, it's always a part of who you are, I start to see more and more of how my mom is in the way I do things. Just because of what I observed as a child and in parts of my father are in me, that I also observed but didn't like It's like character, right? The things that are that make my my parents who were my initial influencers. Know, who are they and, and who are they for me, and how I see reflections of them in me now and and also being a parent, my daughter can see that and, and I see myself like as my mom would treat me or ways of like teaching I would be doing that was my daughter and I wouldn't see that when I was a daughter that I would ever do that right now I see that mirror reflection of oh my goodness, like that's what my mom did. My mom now Yeah, exactly.

Mark Laurie: 19:29

That phrase, not too far from the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Yeah,

Claudia Martins: 19:34

exactly. Especially if it's a good apple right.

Mark Laurie: 19:42

Do you think people understand you do yes.

Claudia Martins: 19:48

Yes, yes. I'm known to be clear. And so that helps.

Mark Laurie: 19:54

Do they do they like like, phrases? So if p You are clear with what you do. Do they agree with what you do like your position on some things where the where the flow the world is going left? And you really feel and you do go right to do your How do you handle situations? Oh, yes.

Claudia Martins: 20:15

Oh, for sure. I think even poaching the idea that public speaking is a skill and it's one that you can master goes against the flow of thinking that, Oh, if I don't have it, then I don't need it or I don't, I can't have it for myself. Meanwhile, it will come in the impact of not speaking up or staying silent, especially on things that matter. There's a lot of ripple effects around that. And they're usually not very positive. From a personal perspective, whether it's opportunities that you could have, you know, that woulda, shoulda COULDA, that thinking comes very present when you're silent, or you're not wanting to speak up. And so I always challenge even like, even because of my courses and stuff. It's not comfortable, right? So I wouldn't say that anybody going against the grain. But in terms of what I stand for, to whether it was in the corporate world, whether it's in just when if there's a statement that I don't necessarily agree with, I'll just say, You know what, I don't I don't agree with that. I just respect what you're saying. The same time, you know, please give me the the also the courtesy to speak what it is that on my heart and, and coming from that place. I mean, of course, depends on the individual and this, there's discretion. And that's where wisdom that's kick in, because there's sometimes conversations where I just do not engage. There's this, there's no purpose behind that. And if there's constructive type conversations that I can engage in, and it's more like a dialogue, and it can be a debate, there's so much, so much great insight. And further, I would say growth that comes from conversations like that. So it is a fine line. Doesn't mean I agree with everything. Now if I have other ideas, and I express them, I do it with that grain of respect and courtesy for the for the other individual individuals.

Mark Laurie: 22:25

It's, it can so much expand your view of the world, I believe, by listen to someone's point of view, I have to agree with it. But you can be curious about why they hold that view, and have them explain that to you. And then that gives the right to explain back. I love those kinds of conversation debates. Rather than that you come across someone that's the immobile rock and they don't. It doesn't really matter what you say or what you present. There's no real discussion. It's like, you know, there's platitude that talks about that and that you're right, that becomes a conversation that just can't go into you. There is no there's no growth from your either part. You can't you can't grow from them because they just giving you platitudes and they can't grow from you. becomes tricky. Do you have any personal heroes, people who really look up to or people you want to emulate?

Claudia Martins: 23:17

I do mean, there's similar celebrity types, but I'll bring a personal one just she's no longer on this earth and and in many ways, I think she demonstrates the power of just being a good human. And in her action, she speaks louder than words. So this lady she's the founder of sevens anonymous Foundation, which there's a servant's anonymous society in Calgary. It's been renamed but the with this lady she she goes by Dominique. Her story when I met her in person, and I had a privilege of even being because So how often do you get to meet founders of nonprofit organizations? For me, for me it I think that she's it so far. I mean, I've met others, but like, I mean, she was the one that started it from scratch and what, seven servants anonymous foundation or sevens anonymous, like any of those, they're really about helping women. They're rescuing women from sexual exploitation since trafficking. And honestly, when I first encountered this whole what's going on around us and that it happens in Canada even or even specifically in Calgary, like it's not just something that you hear in the third world countries or, you know, like, it is actually, it could be your neighbor, as far as I'm aware of now. Talking to her, and why she was seeing that she needed to do something about this. Like she literally would rescue women or off the street and quite often, and care for them in her own home, whether it's feeding them, clothing them, giving them a safe place, and then potentially some counseling because, you know, they get to know each other and then this girl from the street would share about what happened. She started like literally opening up the door of her home. And then over time, she developed this massive program where it's got a duplication effects. So there's a house in Vancouver and then they're all over the world all and highlight like, literally worldwide but they have they she created a structure and a program on how to have these women basically be rescued from the street to then having a useful you could call it a trade or you can call it a skill where they can then become financially independent because they become entrepreneurial. And they're, it's very practical, these skills that she gives them like jewelry making and the jewelry would be like to put like the jewel the jewels themselves, as an example, can be glass picked up from the streets, then that gets reshaped with colored and turns into beads. So it's very resourceful, it's not like you're spending, you know, you need a lot of initial costs to be able to produce this jewelry. And so she empower these women and how to find ways to use what they've got, like kind of when they're on their own street to have a product that can be sold and, and people will wear it and and she would have the women that make these jewelry, write little notes and know that this is me who made it and thank you for literally taking you off the street. So now I can sell this to you and you can make give me the ability to feed food for myself, my family. So it's this like very, it's like ground roots style approach, which I've never really heard of yet. I heard a matter in 2011. And when I heard that she was just like, just for simple acts of kindness, simple acts of just opening her door. And the difference it made. And now you know, she's got a legacy and the foundation carries on. Without her I was really inspired by that. And Oprah is another one that kind of gives a similar vibe, where it's really about one person at a time, and helping that one individual and what that does, and, and so I see her as a hero because she is incredibly humble. Just to pull that story out of her. It's not written anywhere, you know, it's not on the website, at a at a extended coffee with her in Vancouver, she treated me actually like she wouldn't refuse to have me pay. And, and we just talked about her her story and and she wanted to save as many girls as possible. That was sort of mission and to raise the awareness and she works with legal authorities who works with people of power. Like she really started something that leaves that mark that leaves that. That sense of okay, I think I want to be a part of that charge I want to be I want to join forces because that, you know, ultimately, it's a very, very large cause she wants to tackle. And so I think in many ways, what she's doing helped with me really helping about, like really finding that empowering voices is something that I can contribute to this greater cause because if the women speak out, they say no, I'm not going to be violated this way. Or, you know, I'm going to speak in front of you even though it's very risky and the sharing on the platform like un or somewhere that's political, where they can say, you know, this is happening, you know, we gotta we gotta not just ignore this, because that's usually what allows things to continue. The apathy is another voice that is louder than words as well and indifference. But yeah, like her particular as a personal example, my life is a hero, that she did not allow the fears of society or the you can't go there or why are you opening your door to strangers like those types of fear based concepts get in her way.

Mark Laurie: 29:55

That's pretty powerful. I can see the threads of the large legacy, there's a quote we heard one time and the guy goes on the line that it takes a special person to plant a tree they'll never sit under. I just love that vision. It's I think it's pretty powerful. How do you see success and failure, you see if that failure is as in and stop or something different.

Claudia Martins: 30:25

I see your failures as opportunities. There. I mean, there's definitely failures where it's a dead end, you don't want to go there again. However, there are failures that if it's something that isn't fatal, that it is typically an opportunity, it's a, I learned, I have another safe borrowing mentor, but I've met this individual, John Maxwell, John C. Maxwell has written 10 books on leadership. And he himself wrote a book called failing forward. And failure is not a it's not a stop, unless, of course, it's, as I said, there's, there's certain kinds that are fatal and certain kinds that you don't want to redo. But the ones where you can get back again, get back up, and you can give it another shot, you can give another goal. Another, another goal. Those are what I see as typical failures, where it is more of an opportunity. It's it's a place for you to pause afterwards and say, if something didn't turn out the way it did, okay, well, what happened? What worked, what didn't work, take the time to actually evaluate what that was, because it isn't a reflection of who you are. And people do get confused that failure becomes that you are a failure, right? It's an identity. And that is not something I associate with like it is game over when you start putting it as though it is you because we're not failures. The failure itself is an event that happened. And so that's why I don't see it as like I you know, it is a continual, it's one of those if you see that the failure and you're willing to take action to try it a different way, or literally getting back up and try a different way. Or seeing that this failure is now an opportunity to switch gears or to change course, then many ways, those are actually ways to take you a guess further to what you are destined to become or destined to be. So the failures in mean, it's also mentioned that success is paved by many failures. So in order for success to actually be achieved, the failures need to happen. Otherwise, I don't even know how you could experience success, because then what are you overcoming success is usually a overcoming of some kind, it's usually a victory of some kind of victim situation before where you have a problem that you can't solve. And through the process of failure than, you know, finding the solution. You become successful in the result, which is this isn't no longer holding me back. And and that's how I view life in many ways. But yeah, I don't see them as static at all. There are lessons to learn. And it's up to the individual whether or not they want to take those lessons.

Mark Laurie: 33:37

Could you share an experience a failure quote, that you had that you turn into a good opportunity

Claudia Martins: 33:47

to think here of a recent one. I'd say even how I'm developing what I'm offering in the public speaking coaching side, it's not static. At first, I would say, Oh, I'm can't take I have an accounting background. So I can't take the analytical side out of me entirely, just because I do think in very regimented ways, and the way I even provide the structure of speaking and like you'll see it like I have an actual, I wouldn't say formula, but it's a framework. It's very clear, it's easy to follow. And so I had a framework on how I wanted to build a business and that framework has to work with the marketplace, right? And when I see that the marketplace isn't, say responding to what I'm offering, then I've got a pivot, and others may see that that could be a failure. aren't like, Oh, you're going oh, you you're not doing things that people are willing to say purchase or whom you're willing to, to be a part of. For me, it's like, well, you know, if it doesn't work, then what else is there and, and it actually happened even in the last, because I restarted conflict, Claudia from being on hiatus didn't 2023 It's the last ball I read opened it up. And I refined a 90 day course, a four week course, which had really great momentum. At first I had study interests, and then it kind of fizzled out in early 2024. And five it was was part of it was that I don't think I was really sharing about it as much as it used to. And I also noticed that it typically with courses, it requires certain people that want to dedicate for something like that, and so it couldn't be the only thing I offered. And then step. Secondly, I had these more, I call them like speech jobs that are like two hours an evening. And they usually happen once a month, and there would be some interest around that. But then they had like, too many different kinds. And so it became a little bit confusing, because it was not like the clarity was lacking. And I noticed that, you know, the interest would be up and down as well. And so in terms of this is very fresh, and I'm going to test it out. What I've done is simplify the whole thing. So you know, if I started date, I'm not getting the interest for the four week course and they give an alternative. If the course is to say, well find out why a lot of it is they don't have the time commitment, a lot of it could be a part of it, it's also just a cost, cost component. Ultimately, they can't show up for it. So if you can't show up, you can't really get the game gain gain anything. However, you know, they can show up for evening, or they can show up for two evenings in a month. And I've been curating certain types, I would say you that base type things or even like that peak shop style, where it's they gave you training on various forms of public speaking in the Speak shop. And then an event would be your speaking at a podium or speaking on the stage. It's like basically, throwing you out there like, you're now going to be stretched all the time, because that's what public speaking as you incubating and learning all these techniques and stuff to great, but at the end of the day, are they going to be useful to you? And I think people see the practicality and when they do that and they see the value of the practicality, then they're interested to find out more about what else do I provide our one on one coaching was that all about? Like I had recently two new coaching clients just because I was very open to share that I have a few avenues that I can help you and depends on which avenue makes the most sense for you. But having those conversations to lead to what are they going to decide to do next, gives me now the opportunity to really give them the right fit. Because maybe for the next couple of months, they can do a evening type thing. But then as they're doing those evenings, and they're realizing you know what, like, I really want to learn more, I want to develop further. And then we can discuss a four week course. So it's instead of it having all all out there because that's how I started was I have all these things out there. ABCDE. And then people are like, I don't even know what first step is. Yeah, I've now pivoted to really scale it back, right? Because I tend to think, oh, everyone can just show up and just go and speak No, like Yeah, forget about it exists, right? Like no, like, no, like, you gotta, I gotta like, learn to just give the little, little bite sized version first. See if it's even attainable. Yeah,

Mark Laurie: 39:08

so in your personal life, what kind of things are you curious about now in your personal life?

Claudia Martins: 39:14

Great question. I'm very curious about this the the journey of humanity, and what does that mean? And it's backed by choice, and it's different per individual. However, it's, the question is, is it progressive or regressive? And, and that's always been a lifelong question I've had about, you know, general curiosity, but I find that it's becoming a very it's a very pressing type of question these days. With all the things going on, we don't need to go into details specifically about police like politics or how the world is literally, it's changing very quickly, in many ways. And there's technology, conversation around that. There's political landscape, as I was mentioning before. And this is a global version, too. It's not just national or even local, like we're talking, like, really big picture type of things. And so I'm very curious, as you know, when I talk with individuals, like, where are the apps, with all of this? You know, are they choosing to take a progressive approach? Or are they wanting to not know any of this, they want to just do this? And do this, so that life unfolds, whether they're really participating or being aware at all? And hopefully they want it just to go away? Right. And, and I'm very, very, I like having those conversations. And so that definitely stirs a lot of curiosity in me and those conversations. We start them they don't, they don't end in 15 minutes, let's just say. Yeah, there's usually an unfolding of many chapters, that, then that's an opportunity for me to get to know a person and vice versa. And, and so yes, that's that's a current topic, a current topic for me.

Mark Laurie: 41:28

That sounds really intriguing. Is a consensus of how people are more people trying to stay hidden, are more people trying to be progressive and become influential of what's happening around them.

Claudia Martins: 41:39

I think that debate continues, it really depends on watch. And then if it's like, are you gonna stand for something? What is that? Again? That's that clarity in law, often times that you don't know. And you can't choose a whole bunch either, right? It's gotta be it's time, time based in some ways. And that dives into other conversations on just execution on its own, which is another hot topic, and I love talking about executing things. But I think it's hard to say. And some may, I honestly don't know. So there's, there's those that like, I have no idea. And even to think about having an idea around that is, is enough to cause anxiety. And there's those who are like, I know what I'm doing, and they're doing something about it. And so that's pretty quick, you know, it'd be like, Okay, I'm on the, I'm going to do something about it, then it's like, okay, well, what are you doing? And then it could be very well, how can I help you, you know, kids, if it's aligned to even what I'm interested in, then it's like, okay, like, let's, let's not just be solo people, right, like lone wolves trying to tackle a common goal, and see if there's synergy or collaboration opportunities around it. So, yeah, it's and just because you say yes, now doesn't mean that yes, forever, either. Right? That could be yes, for now. And, and that that happens, you gotta give life and life events that occur, the grace deserves as well, because that could definitely cause a delay or derailment or even a detour to what you may have planned initially.

Mark Laurie: 43:23

So is there something that you have changed your mind on that you as, as the world shifts and information shifts that you were initially with this stance, and now you're understand it differently? Now, you've changed your thinking to this or anything, it's, you flipped your feelings about or made a shift in?

Claudia Martins: 43:42

Definitely, this is when I think resonates with those, cuz I've seen this in that promo, quote, perspective. And in my younger years, I really thought that was weird, because it was talking about the older I become, the less I know. Yeah. Which, you know, in my logical mind would be well, well, how can you know last, if you've lived longer, like we shouldn't, you know, more like one of those experience to give you more insights, or give me more nuggets to work with and, and I'm starting to understand what that means. And when you're young, you think everything is going the way you want, or what you know, in a I would call it more of an immature perspective, you think things are black and white, you think things things can be decided on? Yes or no mean? Even, you know, conversation is a bit of that, you know, yes or no the component to it. And I'm not talking about that I'm talking about just like, do you know for sure. Right. And, and that's what I'm noticing is shifting, is that what I know for sure, then isn't that necessarily when I know for sure now, and the more conversations I have with people, especially especially tackling questions that go either progressive or regressive human being because those those types of conversations, it's not black and white, it's very gray. And it's shades of gray. And, and that's what I'm really starting to see and understand that. As I get older, I'm realizing how little I actually know or that I may not actually know what I think I know. Because having the persona and this is something I do strive for, to be this ongoing students, then yeah, you don't fully know. And the process of discovering what you don't know is in those conversations and in those experiences and those reflections of what you thought you may have known and now you've you've been exposed to a different perspective. And when you're exposed to different perspectives, are you open enough? Because that's, that's the decision I made to am I open enough to explore further have a perspective I've never considered before? And when I do, I realized my goodness, like there's so many blind spots that I guess have been revealing through the discovery. That wouldn't be if I didn't actually go and be curious. And, and, and so that's definitely what shifting is that I do take on wanting to be curious to take on wanting to be this lifelong student that I really am starting to see that what I think I know today can change. And it doesn't mean there's anything right or wrong around that. But it's just a further acceptance that there is always another perspective, or there's always another answer or another solution or another way or angle to go about the same thing that I'm viewing. From my perspective.

Mark Laurie: 47:00

I came across a story, it was about time travel. And the hook of it was that this guy been able to travel back in time it changes, changes past that really intrigued me. And so he went back in his mind to the day of his divorce. And he shifted how he looked at that experience, which in his life was the most horrible thing possible. And he shifted to look at from her perspective, and from some and the kids perspective, and these different perspectives he had never considered before. And suddenly, he had changed how he felt about us. Because of came out of it and what looked at and that perspective changing is a hard thing to do. You have to condition yourself to do I think, but it's an it's a core to the core of I think is being curious. And you miss actress? How does Now earlier, we talked about how you got yes or no. And it's very clear, almost black and white processes. And you're injecting this sense of curiosity, which is that like chasing down rabbit holes, that's the nature of curiosity, you pull on this thread, and then you see how those two things align with you this stage of your progress?

Claudia Martins: 48:06

Well, I think when it comes to values and beliefs, that's where I will have the anchors. And so there is no, you can just be all over the place. I mean, that will then lead to confusion and lack of clarity. And so when it comes to the things of whether it's I know the direction I'm heading, at least for now, right, of course, that can shift to but for now, for at least my foreseeable future, this direction going I mean, those are yeses and noes, particularly if I'm going to put things on my calendar. But when it comes to viewpoints, when it comes to perspectives on topics, like even storytelling, right, that's what I help people with, particularly when it comes to public speaking, you could have one topic and have 10 Different kinds of stories. And I find that really intriguing, very interesting, because your version of it is just one right. And there's multiple versions, and it could be on the same topic, the same idea. However, the way that it's viewed, is diverse. And that's what I'm noticing is the shift is that, especially when it comes to empowering people to speak up, it's not linear so much, unless they're defining a core value or something along those lines. But if it comes to, you know, this is what I view and this is how I see it. This is my opinion. This is my perspective. And then I'm allowing that curiosity to foster because I think that's what gives life to those stories. And the stories themselves resonate with people. And that's what I see as the essence of what I have why stories are so powerful is because just, it may speak to you personally. And maybe you agree or disagree. But now you're opening the door to the debate. Why do I agree? Why do I disagree? And especially if you disagree, can you at least see that? There is a truth behind that person's perspective from that person's point of view? And are you willing to be open enough to explore what that's like, even if you have your own, just like what you shared about, from your example, taking you out of your own shoes, and I think it's very much development of emotional intelligence and being empathetic is that you got to take yourself out of the equation and then put yourself in another version of it and putting yourself in other people's shoes and see what what do they see what did they feel what did they experience because it's just as valid to them as it is to you. And that's, that's what I'm discovering.

Mark Laurie: 51:03

That is really cool. We'll end on that note. Thank you so much for your time today. It was it's been really fascinating but as it's supposed to be listeners in the in the bio section, you can read a bit more about Claudia and there'll be some links in there and you can kind of reach out to her if your mind some things that she talked about curious to you. You want to get into maybe even her speaking programs, which tests are really powerful. Thank you for your time today. I really appreciate it.

Claudia Martins: 51:27

Thanks so much, Mark. My honor to be here.

Exit speaker: 51:31

This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie, join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women dossier fascinating woman has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Lee of us and my office media