Fascinating Women

Maude Bombardier - Laugh mentor - expecting mom- writer-speaker- shares warmth & mirth

May 07, 2020 Maude Bombardier Season 1 Episode 13
Fascinating Women
Maude Bombardier - Laugh mentor - expecting mom- writer-speaker- shares warmth & mirth
Fascinating Women
Maude Bombardier - Laugh mentor - expecting mom- writer-speaker- shares warmth & mirth
May 07, 2020 Season 1 Episode 13
Maude Bombardier

Maude is a woman with a purpose to bring the power of laughter, to understand how it heals, even how to fake it but still get the benefit

While Maude does share some techniques and the power of laughing our conversation goes beyond that.

Maude shares how a very early childhood attack impacted her life without realizing it; how she unearthed it, and solved it. How she does and will relate to her expecting baby girl.

She had a deep relationship with her brother, his passing altered her life by how he mentored her to leap forward.

Our conversation does touch on some close to the soul moments and insights in her life but mostly it is a happy and joyful chat.

You can reach her here:
(780) 667-7645 Edmonton, AB

About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography.

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production.

Show Notes Transcript

Maude is a woman with a purpose to bring the power of laughter, to understand how it heals, even how to fake it but still get the benefit

While Maude does share some techniques and the power of laughing our conversation goes beyond that.

Maude shares how a very early childhood attack impacted her life without realizing it; how she unearthed it, and solved it. How she does and will relate to her expecting baby girl.

She had a deep relationship with her brother, his passing altered her life by how he mentored her to leap forward.

Our conversation does touch on some close to the soul moments and insights in her life but mostly it is a happy and joyful chat.

You can reach her here:
(780) 667-7645 Edmonton, AB

About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography.

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production.

Mark Laurie:   0:03
you're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie and now Mark Laurie. Hello, everyone. Uh, today I'm with Maude Bombardier. I have that right?  Bombardier. Her life's accumulated at this point to a program called the Laughing Hour but she has been a fascinating person. I've been chatting with her first, and I think we met last August or so September.

Maude Bombardier:   0:34
Yeah, September for sure.

Mark Laurie:   0:37
And it's just from square one. It was so interesting what she does. But before we get into that, I'd like to talk a bit more about how you got there. So if you could pop back into your childhood, what kind of things put you on the path today? Like what type of any event or any lessons that you learned very young. That was sort of pointed your direction to here.

Maude Bombardier:   1:00
Well, my goodness. Do what? Mark, I love this question. OK, because, uh, there's there's so many things. Actually, I justm a couple of years ago five about five years ago, I went to this conference and I was listening to this man and he had us do, or he suggested to do an activity to help us see what we were passionate about in life. And this activity was in two parts. One of them was to think back at your childhood. And this is why I'm, you know, sharing this with you because you were asking about my childhood port of it was thing back at your childhood and list all the memories that are significant to you. And and so I would list all of those And then when Afterwards the second part was list all of the memories. That's where list all of the things as an adult that you love doing and see There are some common threads. And so this is why I really love your question cause this activity help me identify what I like the cloud I call my clouds Help me direct like, Oh, where my clouds pointing to right now. So definitely  as a kid. I grew up, Um, I have a very big family, but we spend our summers at a cottage where there was no Internet, probably four channels on a small TV box and a lot of frogs to catch and garden snakes. And so I feel like a lot of mine creativity came from just not having any stimulation and having to create my own little world. So definitely that help me shape. Ah, the person that I am today and just a lot of the things that happened as a child. They went through some really good moments like I had a really good childhood. But I've had some challenges that maybe not everyone had at the age of of seven wait no,  when I was nine. I have a child, not a child vbt I have a brother that passed away. Oh, um, which was, you know, from a very young age. I I learned that you need to make the most of each day that you haven't actually, that's events happened and it's pretty like that. Summer was pretty significant to me because when my brother passed away okay, the day of his funerals, I went with my godparents and, uh, probably to give my parents a break from, you know, everything that was happening. So I went with my godparents. My two cousins with their one of them is my age and one of them it was about two years old, and the day that I was supposed to leave, and we were doing a pot lock with the family. So my godparents, we're gonna bring us back to my family. Um, we were eating peanuts before getting in the car, and my two year old cousin choked on a peanut, got in a coma and passed away. And so it was that summer was really eye opening, I guess, to me, like I said, just taking advantage of each single day that you have and making the most of its. And I think a lot of the values that I have now or because I went through that type of thing pretty young, like families are important and human connection is important. Appreciate the people that are that you love while they're there. Um, U s so those. Those are a lot of things that help me shape, why I want to spread laughter and why I want to. You know, I'm on a mission to spread joy, but honor crying crying is very important. 

Mark Laurie:   5:07
And it seemed like such a paradox to embrace laughter and then saying what crying is a big part of that

Maude Bombardier:   5:13
I was, you know, before starting my company, the thing that I was the most scared of. I mean, there's a few things starting a company in itself is is scary, but more personally. One thing that I was scared of was that I was gonna lose my rights. Or that's what I thought, that I was going to lose my right to be authentic to my emotions. I was so scared that people were going to start tagging me as the laughing lady, the lady who's always happy rainbows, sunshine and unicorns kind of thing. And and that's not me I don't want to put a mask of. I'm always happy. I mean, I guess I have a facility to to feeling positive or thinking positively and being optimistic. But I still wanted to know that I was gonna be able to be human and just honor the moments where I have a shitty day and I'm going to go down there and I'm going to see what's hiding in order to let it out and be able to laugh later on, like not just numb it by thinking everything's okay. Everything's okay. I'm not going to think about this thing that's making me feel, you know, poo poo were what not so um so yeah, I I really I really love telling people that crying for my  important,  it against those toxins out thats whats  happening with the tears. Yeah,

Mark Laurie:   6:49
now the pushing things down, It always reminds me of somebody soup stuff under a carpet and eventually the brunt of the carpet creates a bump and you trip over it. It doesn't it doesn't stay invisible. It's gonna bubble the top like you just you got. It's easier if it's just you deal with it when it's still relatively small around this big, huge bump, you gotta get dump truck to take it out.

Maude Bombardier:   7:10
Oh, definitely, there's There's a very raw and literal example that one of my friends Jerry Toran told me such a great person. She she said, If you have in story for this language, But she said, If you have crap that wants to come out and you numb it  or you just you know you don't deal with it and you push it down, you're literally walking like if you know, with a whole bunch of crap inside and your stinky. But if you let that out, it's eventually gonna become manure. They're gonna be able to see a garden grow around you, and it's gonna be beautiful in so sick. This is still true. Get them in your out good hearted people on. This is a reminder to myself, too. By the way, I'm not perfect.

Mark Laurie:   8:04
I think the people most faster one recognize that I'm a balanced person. I've got the issues. I got things I bump into. I got joys, you know, the whole the whole range of things makes you human. It's That's what things actors always complain about when they're playing the hero and the guys, all the villains, much more interesting to be heroes are one dimensional. They only got this one little thing that they can do. And then, as they expand out to more troubled heroes now that become more real people. So so who inspires? You mentioned a few names that come along. If if you look back on your I'm on the accomplishments you made, who's inspired you and why?

Maude Bombardier:   8:41
Um, I think one of the major people or person that's inspired me was my older brother s. So I come from a family where it was Ah, my older brother and me 2.5 years apart. And then my parents thought they were going to stop at two kids. And 10 years later, they had my brother that passed away that I just talked about. And then two other brothers. Okay. Oh, I have a big age gap with my and my younger brothers, but we we all love each other. But definitely I had a special connection with my older brother. He was very, um just very spirituals. Very, um, interpret your very no, he He was able to gather a lot of people around him and inspire individually everyone and get the best out of them. And I felt like when I was talking with him, I was understanding a little more what I wanted to put out in the world. And there's this. There's this moment in my life where I was studying to become a teacher. I was with the guy it had been for five years, and I was working somewhere that I didn't really love and I didn't feel get, and at one point I decided I was taking less classes in my education program to become a teacher. I left my boyfriend. He was a good guy, but it was just not It wasn't the right fit. And I left my job and and my ex boyfriend was thinking you're going through a depression on. At that point, my older brother was living in Maui, in Hawaii. Lucky him, and I decided that I was going to go and see him. I had not a lot of money. And so this is on my credit card. But it was so worsted because during that trip, when I went to Maui, we got to talking belts, um, about a lot of things. And like I said, he inspired what I'm I believe on Earth to do. And so he opened another world to me and said, Well, why don't you become a happiness expert? And my my immediate thought was expert like who have tried to be an expert like No, you can build towards it And he introduced me to positive psychology. He introduced me to laughter. You'll good drink that. And during that trip, actually, hey had been to laughter yoga session a couple of weeks before, and he told me, you got to try this. I thought I think you're gonna get a kick out of it, and so we weren't able to find a session while I was in Hawaii. But to my big surprise, when I flew back to Montreal, where I was living at the time, I found a laughter yoga. I need a group, and I decided that I was gonna go. And actually, when I came back from Hawaii, first thing I did was go to a bookstore and buy $100 of positive psychology books. And I was like, Education is done for me. I'm going and positive like a positive psychology. This is my new mission, and and the and so and I went to this laughter yoga session due to my older brother, who just like I said, open that world to me and I fell in love with the practice. I mean, the first time I tried it, I thought people were a little kuku. I thought, This is so weird. This is a little out there, but I sell in loves with the practice, and, um, eventually me and my older brother also passed away. Ah, a couple of years ago, and when I started my business, I felt like there was this star over me, cause at the beginning, everything was going so well. Everything felt so lined. And I was thinking, you know, I think this is my older brother who inspired me to or opened up this world of laughter yoga to me, who's just, you know, giving me the little the little sums up like yes is you're finally doing It s oh, definitely has been an inspiration in the whole grief journey from from him. Passing away have is gonna actually gonna be six years ago. Now, not to in a couple of months has definitely got me into another journey and with a lot of life lessons. So he's inspired me through his living life and through his death. Actually,

Mark Laurie:   13:21
you So you've lost your youngest brother and your oldest brother.

Maude Bombardier:   13:24
Ah, So I I lost my oldest brother, and then I lost. Um I have three younger brothers. So the oldest of the three. Okay. Um yeah. Yeah. So So you have Messam place is gonna I think that life is gonna be a ruler closer, right? No matter what you do, no matter if you're practice saying, um, you know, meditation or whatever, whatever you use to help you feel peaceful. If it's running journaling, just having a good time with your friends. Whatever you're doing, life is gonna have its its moments where it's testing unit. For me, that was definitely a few grief stories is in there, and I feel that's why you need to equip yourself with not just one good practice, that with many practices that are gonna help you soothe some of that aware deal with what you're going through.

Mark Laurie:   14:28
I had a friend one time. She call it that everyone needs the sandpaper of life. Teoh. It's a polish up the good moments and to soften hard moments with sandpaper of life.

Maude Bombardier:   14:40
Oh yeah, I never heard that. That's a really good way to put him.

Mark Laurie:   14:45
So are you the result of nurture or your environment has brought you for who you are today?

Maude Bombardier:   14:52
If I'm in an essay recon, you're

Mark Laurie:   14:53
sure that the nurturing or your environment that has a shaped you the most?

Maude Bombardier:   14:59
Oh goodness, I think a little bit of of both. Uh, my my parents definitely had through Ueda. You know, they taught me a lot of values and just like I said, I have this whole big family. That's I believe I was able to take a lot of good from so definitely a big of a big part of the nurturing. But I think for sure, my environment, the experiences I went through with with my griefs and just some a an issue of where a moments of child abuse were child. Yeah, assault when I was six years old. Help me shape who I am today. Me there. I'm I feel like I'm just saying all those of things that happened to me, but I really had a good life. Guys, I didn't. I It's just it's shaped who I am today, but it's a mixture of nurturing an environment, putting that all together in a steel, like just being aware that each moments that happened is not necessarily my identity. But it's a moment in time and I try toe, see, you know, have a growth mindset. Oh,

Mark Laurie:   16:19
do you ever the views of such young ages is that is that still shaping here is that some things just done that with moved on.

Maude Bombardier:   16:26
Oh goodness, it's something that I was dealing with last year, still, because I I put that in a black box for so many years. I think that's really why I was single for a long time in my life and I didn't know why. My friends all thought that I was the strong independent women and and I thought that of myself didn't like I'm waiting for the right guys. But I was pushing everyone back and and now I understand. But back then I didn't know that I was doing this because I was scared of intimacy. And, um and so yeah, it's It came up a few times when I had my boyfriend that I was with for five years when I was in the education program and trying to find myself in the memories of what had happened when I was six, definitely came back and I pushed them back in my black box. I didn't I didn't let it be manure and grow a garden. Let's just put that with food. That's good. And so I was pushing it back in. Ah, when I met my current boyfriend that I'm with right now, it things were coming up again, and I was pushing it back, and when I started my company, the lasting our What laughter does is it helps release a lot of things. So, um, there is I mean, when I facilitate a laughing session, the majority of people laugh. But there is. It has happened that at the end of the session, one person might tear up because laughter is a wayto just release a lot of layers of stuff or accumulated stuff. And the fact that I was facilitating laughter yoga sessions frequently, I was having a lot of layers of myself being, you know, just just like going away. And this box was moving up and up, and at one point, I just I kept thinking and boats this event that had happened to me and there was no way of looking back like I had to deal with that black box. And I keep referring it as that because for so many years I remember thinking I wasn't being authentic on some level because I just like it. There was this black box inside of me, and I wasn't able to identify it. Not that I had forgotten what happened, but I just It was it was separate for some reason. And, um and so, yeah, that black box came back and eventually I said, Well, I have to deal with with what happened before And so I went to regular therapy or I went to see a counselor and goodness, she she she has been good with me. It's been very beneficial. And since I had started my business and I was getting calls from people, this was my main source of income. I I still had a part time job of my main source of income was the lasting hours. So I didn't want to stop it. And I felt like I was on a rule straight from the start because of my brother, you know, pushing me and giving me the thumbs up. And and so eventually what happened is I was being called to go facilitates, um, laughing sessions for 20 5100 people. And at one point, the most I've done was 250 people. This was when I was seeing my therapist, and some mornings I knew that I was gonna go facilitate the laughing session in the afternoon. But I did not feel like laughing like who feels like laughing when they feel like crap. Just the day before I went to see my name, my therapist and I had this huge crying session. I had journal that I had tried sleeping and then you wake up in your like they have to animates the stressing, the group bent. And so it's authenticity for me is something that is very important, like I mentioned earlier, and so I didn't feel a sense it. But I didn't want to go on social media and say, Hey, guys, I'm going through this like I was, I was not ready to tell the public, especially because my family didn't know that I had a sexually assaulted when I was six. And so eventually what happened is I would wake up and I would try to shake you know it off, either through dancing or through my crying sessions or journaling or whatever felt good. Um, and when I would get in the car driving to my to my group, I would put the radio on mute and I would repeat this speeds or this motivational speech that I put together, which went like this was good morning rises, Shiner. Good afternoon. Rise and shine. Thank you. World universe life for giving me today to continue radiating love and happiness. Everywhere I go, I feel so peaceful inside. I'm so grateful right now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all the magical opportunities showing up in my life at the perfect timing. And then I would state all the reasons why I'm grateful for things that happened in the past. And then I would say all the reasons why I'm grateful for things that are currently happening happening in the moments. Like I'm happy that I'm driving this car. Whatever. It was in a good state, all the reasons why I'm grateful for things that I want to happen in the future, but saying them as if they were already accomplished. So thank you for this Ted X talk that I just did in front of thousands of people when would not just anything to motivate me, eat that over and over again, like it might drive from my home to my laughing. Our session was 30 minutes. I would do that for 30 minutes, literally, and I would get there and I would have to kick myself in the butt a little bit, you know, animate the group and by the end of the session, I felt so again I felt like I had this weight that had shedded for my shoulders. I felt like I was me again. I felt like I was, you know, more productive. I felt so good and the people that were paying me did not know they were gifting me therapy to myself. But that's basically what it wasn't mind. Drive back home was definitely not the same as my drive going there. I mean, I would repeat the motivational speech again, but it would feel difference. And I would have music on I'd be singing and and it felt it just it felt so good. So I got a taste of my own medicine in some way. Still, So, yeah, that was That was good. That was just last year s o still dealing with similar. What happened is better. Now I feel like I can forgive a little more The person that did that to me. Not that what he did is okay. Um but I see more peace around it's and and view it definitely differently. And this is not just with laughter. Yoga therapy is definitely with the help of my my therapist. Also, when the health of of the crying and the dancing and the journaling and my boyfriend was very supportive through all of it. Also,

Mark Laurie:   24:30
that's powerful. So you're expecting Mom? What do you do?

Maude Bombardier:   24:34
Yes, we're expecting I am due August 6. Eso that's that? That's pretty exciting. It was Some roller coasters of emotions have, but, um but yes, this is their first baby. So first trimester, very sleepy and everything. Now I'm in the golden second trimester, so that has been pretty good and exciting in itself. Definitely interesting, period to be pregnant with the cove in 19 I would say, but, um, I feel like it's gifting me more time to really enjoy when I feel her kick and move. Whereas I

Mark Laurie:   25:18
feel like if if we weren't maybe way joy, feeling like I decided I would be running everywhere. So

Maude Bombardier:   25:34
this is This is good. I've been faced arming with my family every other day. Maybe they're getting annoyed with it, But things

Mark Laurie:   25:42
I've always thought about mother headed, there's any any act in the human race that speaks of a positive future or about a future. It's, um it's a family bringing a new child in the world because you, my belief is your active is that you wouldn't do it if you didn't believe you were gonna bring it into a good place Like a good world is that is out of a fair viewpoint.

Maude Bombardier:   26:09
Maybe. I mean, I've heard some of my friends that have, um, that weren't sure of, you know, having kids because they weren't satisfied, as in terms of how the world was. And for me, it was more of I want to I don't know. I see the world as as something that's ever evolving. And I think years, decades centuries ago, they had their own difficulties. And maybe they're not as documented as as Today. Today we know everything that's happening globally. So I feel like everything is hyped up and and still, um, I just I I still feel it's a good time to create a little love bubble. And just before finding out that I was pregnant, I met this man, and, uh, I was on a business trip in France, and these were I think we were about 250 interpreters. So business owners and a lot of them were saying when you start your company, that's not the right time to have a kid. You have to wait five years and whatever number they would put up. And I was talking with this man and he said, Do you know mode? And that's not really it's It's always a good time to have a kid. Family, first business after and one week later, I found out that I was pregnant and his words We're late in my head and I was so happy I heard that his family first business after,

Mark Laurie:   27:51
Yeah, I think when you get the priority straight in your mind, anything could be balanced once you're aware of what your priorities are

Maude Bombardier:   27:58
with him. Yes, definitely.

Mark Laurie:   28:01
So what are the skills you want to teach her? When she comes in? I'm gonna marry yourself. You have a bigger visions for her.

Maude Bombardier:   28:08
Definitely because I was just reading this book called Learnt Optimism. So this is wise. One of the first things I'm going to say right now because I don't learn to be optimistic, not some blindly optimistic. So, like everything's gonna be picking flowers and everything's gonna be good, but being realistically optimistic. So seeing that Okay, this might be shitty. Um, but weaken deal with it and it's temporary, and it's not, You know, my car broke down. It's the car that broke down. It doesn't have to affect the rest of my dear, so I definitely want to, um, teach her that and and not overstimulate her. If I was working with kids and preschools before and kids need to be bored, they they need to be bored. This is what I believe in order to open of their creativity and create something. If you if you provide them with the kitchen, you know, plastic kitchen set that has the banana and the telephone and everything already labeled it doesn't leave a lot of room to taking a block and making the block become the fork or the knife or whatever. You know, just so that's that's something that's gonna be important for both my partner and I. He's the most creative person I found. So So uh yeah, letting letting her be bored and showing her you know how toe the optimistic a realistically optimistic, realistic Yes,

Mark Laurie:   29:48
I believe it. I believe that you can that you can move through tragedy and success with optimism of unequal amount like it's the optimism is, the optimism tends to be OK, so this is not good. But eventually it will be good. And so I moved by moving towards it. I think people defined or reality. One person was saying that you you can't control major events that happened around you, but you can control what your take on this is gonna be.

Maude Bombardier:   30:19
Yes, exactly. So this book that I was reading it, it's called Learned Optimism By Martin Seligman. Martin Seligman is the founder of Positive Psychology. So not that there's something called negative psychology. And just before positive psychology. And ah, psychologist would conduct studies that were more on negative aspects or just, oh, depression, stress, anxiety, phobias and things like that. But not no one was studying what is going well with someone, why someone There's more motivated and happy and optimism and resilience. And so Martin's element is pretty much founder of positive psychology that studies that, and in his book, learned optimism. He talks about how the story we tell ourselves after any challenging events for after any good event, helps us shape how we view life and helps enhance the quality of her life increases the likelihood that we're gonna be dwelling in depression. And you know, if we're going to go back to the car that broke down if when the car breaks down, we label it as you know, that's something is gonna affect your whole day and this is the worst thing. And if you make this very permanent and it affects a lot of the rest of your day or your weaker whatnots, you're more likely to dwell in a Depression. Whereas if you stayed it as well, this is crappy. But it's it's just the car. My morning was good, and, um, it's temporary. I'll be able to fix it, and by two more or two days or whatnot, everything's gonna be good. You're gonna be able to enhance the quality of of your life. So what's important is making your story or for the story that you're telling yourself should be temporary should be very specific. It's a it's a moment in time, and it's just this one thing that's not going well. But my fridge is full of food and and my boyfriend's made me my dinner this step breakfast this morning or like whatever. No. So, yeah, the story we tell ourselves is very important.

Mark Laurie:   32:48
It is the car thing of interest on earlier guest on, and she always believes good things will come to her and they always have. So she's out and her car breaks down on a really empty stretch of road and she gets out and she's going. I've got to walk to town to see I get some help. But her mind was like, Well, this is interesting one. What's gonna how it's gonna help me and this guy pulls up. And he was a mechanic and he looked at the car from the problem, was drove into town, got the part fixed the car, refused to take payment. He said, This is what I do have this guilt by stopping down the highway, waiting for cars to break down. Then I helped him and she said, That happens all the time. It just this positive fingers off a piece on black. And if you constantly say that's lucky, Um, you know, you didn't trip over something unlucky control over something. So every time you see something, you view it as something lucky and they've Scots from research shows that then Mawr lucky things will happen to you. People will notice out. They expect things Bloody. Mm. Your expectations can drive that.

Maude Bombardier:   33:48
Yeah. Remember when you were asking who is, uh, one of your idols orders? One of the things that my older brother I remember shared with me during that same trip in Hawaii actually is when something happens, let's say, uh I don't know you. You got your shoes stolen. This is an example. I don't know why, but you got stolen very often. We're gonna have a tendency to start spiraling down. Oh, my shoe got still in. So now I'm gonna have to, you know, buy these shoes is going to be expensive, and and you just spiral it down. And instead, what we can do is spiral of the story upwards. So Okay, well, maybe this person really needed shoes. And maybe when I go to the store, this wonderful thing is gonna happen in Daddy. Data done. Just spiral this story upwards instead. Cause you you never know, actually.

Mark Laurie:   34:53
Well, yeah, I've had so many experiences that my mother is a cartoon a long time ago with this guy's upset because dogs stopped embarked out of me and you have to stop his path. And that caused him to not cross the highway. The road. Which means he wasn't hit by the truck that was Have the brakes fail.

Maude Bombardier:   35:09
There you go. That's a wonderful example.

Mark Laurie:   35:14
Like a damn dog. And there's like, Whoa, the whole thing. They're saved my life. Yeah, yeah, 20. The twists and turns that work out If there's a guy named John Kehoe of it, uh, he's one of the originators of positive thinking and the power of it. The mind controls what he calls it, and and he's just amazed. Individual Davis looks everything. Well, this is good, but what kind of good is gonna come out of this experience? And, uh, the other philosophy I've worked my life on quite a bit is that you? The deaths of how bad something happens to you is balanced by how good something convey. So if your life, if nothing bad happens into it means you have no perspective of good, you can't if you're leaving. And if you're living in Tab Yoka, everything's all beige, and there's no think highs or lows, its problems. Um But you appreciate the joys and the great opportunities, by contrast, in that with some of the tragedies that you experience.

Maude Bombardier:   36:19
Yeah, definitely. There's this term in psychology called the habituation, and so if if our lives is filled with anything that was just good, we would get habituated to when it would just become the norm would be a straight line. But by having those experiences, Blake now grief or whatnot and experiencing the lows were able to really experience those highest also

Mark Laurie:   36:52
and appreciate the highs. You're you're if you've never had anything The obvious sat back and looked. I think I think a person has to be aware, Um, where they look at stuff good and bad, mediocre and goes from what, what it's about that that made that good or bad or whatever. What's you know, how my reacting to like self actualization, I think is really important is that comes out of the board of where your brain isn't stimulated and the brain kind of goes. So let's let's look at something. Let's look at this.

Maude Bombardier:   37:23
Mm. It's about finding the meaning also in whatever happened just them. There's this I love psychology studies. So I reserved did them a lot. There's this study that was done with 900 moms, and they wanted to see if happiness was something that was in the moments or happiness is something that you could think back at. And so what they did is they. They had those 900 mothers which had timers. I don't know in what form, but they just had this alarm that would come off randomly during the day. And when that alarm came off for the beeper, would not They had to rates what they were doing and rates on a scale how happy they were, how good. And I Maybe there was a little more to it, but just basically, that's what it was. And at the end of this study, what they realized is the number one, or like the thing that's brought them. The less happiness was when they were around their kids and it brought them a lot of stress. It was like, Oh, my kids, they're making a mess. I'm not feeling good right now. Our my my kids air and my kid is in a Santorum. I'm not feeling good right now and what not and Then afterwards, they waited a bit and they took the little same 900 women. They had them do this questionnaire, and amongst those questions they were evaluating which moments they felt the happiest. Like How? When are you? The half year? I don't know how they stated it, but basically what they found out is when they were asking the same 900 women, what made them happy? The number one thing that made them happy with spending time with my family was that family vacation that we did last summer. It's Christmas with my kids. That's when my child told me this. And and so in the present moment, this just goes to show that in the present moment something might feel challenging and stressful. And But in the long run, if it brings a lot of meaning and purpose to your life, it brings you happiness. So happiness is not something that I believe. You always need to be happy. Everything has to be good and perfect. It's like, Is this serving a better or a bigger purpose? Is this aligned with the mission or the vision that I want to create for my for my life? for my world, for my family and what not? And so I think positive thinking is very important while keeping it realistic that you're gonna have those lows and and just thinking about, you know, is this The work that I'm doing right now is bringing a lot of stress, but it's part of a bigger picture kind of thing.

Mark Laurie:   40:25
No, I think if you hold the bigger picture, if you have a vision of your life or where you want to go one that makes you less rudderless, that you actually can get someplace. But I think that's what gets you through, because at that point you're expecting to have some bumps that we don't know what they're gonna be. But they're gonna come along and that. But you know, when you get through these, that bigger goal, that bigger vision still within your grounds. And so I think that alters how you see, like one character. He got you so much, my buddy, he was telling me that early ages parents impressed upon him. The always in that builds character, his adversary. Things that go wrong, says the Miller. Things that go wrong, you discover who you are in your shape who you are, and then the moments of happiness where your laid back and you're enjoying the moment you're able to do that. But you're not growing because happiness is a state that's a result of I'm navigating your tragedies. Better was a point of view, so he every time something bad would happen to him. Or he's an experience that cracks wherever West you go. Hey, this is a great character villain. This is gonna rich my happy moment.

Maude Bombardier:   41:31
It's so true, because when I think back at the most challenging periods in my life, um, those helped me grow in ways that I don't think I would have grown if it wasn't for that. I mean, I miss my older brother a lot, and I have a picture on my fridge that makes me smile. I mean, I really miss him, but I see like the person I am today would be a little different if he was still around, because that grief journey definitely helped me put things in perspective and what really means a lot to me and e me. I still make a lot of errors and have days where me and my PJs all day watching Netflix. I'm not perfect here, but it definitely helped put some perspective and how I want to be spending my life. And like you said, building the my character, Maria, who's this math?

Mark Laurie:   42:34
Just one of the friends I there. I don't get the name, but he goes back quite a ways. This goes back quite a few years. Eso I don't recall who said it, but what he said had so much power to me could have been Jerry Bruce, actually member. One of the people that really influenced my life was ah, College Medical College instructor named Jerry Bruce, and he was fascinating with his. You were like a true mentor with him. He was great fun.

Maude Bombardier:   43:04
I was gonna go see if he had a book or something that I could read.

Mark Laurie:   43:08
Why's individual? I did with movies and stuff because the writers of movies have got great insights. So watch movie, and I'll keep on employing ideas out like a quote that is brained. And even though a character says it's some real person thought of it like that, that makes them make some quite live. So I find my quotes of my insights of a variety of places.

Maude Bombardier:   43:32
Yes, I don't I don't wash that much. Moved a lot of movies, but there's this one documentary that was on Netflix. I don't know if it's still very called healing, and it had this little moment in it that really, um, I just struck a chord. I guess you're just stuck with me, and it's It's in the documentary healing. And at one point the narrator, the narrator said, We have learned how to live in a fake made up world, as in, you know, when the red is lights or when the light is red hanging, you stopped, and this sign means that so it's a fake, made up world. It's a world that humans created. So we've learned how to live in that world, and we forgot. And what the real world is like, who can tell me exactly how a butterfly, what the process of a butterfly is from Caterpillar to to grow ther or what's, you know, all these insects. That's the real world who can talk in boats, how the waves are affected with the moon and understand the stars. And that's the real world that we're forgetting because we're so embedded in this made up world that were part of him. That really that's That's one quote I remember from a documentary that stuck with me moaning.

Mark Laurie:   45:03
That's pretty woman. Wrap this up. It's been a wonderful conversation. Yes, I really enjoyed it. He's often go in different directions. It's been delightful. Teoh explore so many unique approaches about what's been shaping you. So thank you for coming to fascinating women at Have a great time. Good luck with your baby.

Maude Bombardier:   45:23
Thank you so much, Markon. Thank you for everyone who's

Mark Laurie:   45:26
listening right now. This has been fascinating. Women with Mark Lauri join us on our website and subscribe at Fascinating Woman dossier. Fascinating Women has been sponsored by Inner Spirit Photography of Calgary, Alberta, and has produced in Calgary by Lee Ellis and my office Media