Fascinating Women

Laurie Anne Sakla - jello wrestler - domestic violence defender - model - mom

September 02, 2020 Laurie Anne Sakla Season 1 Episode 23
Fascinating Women
Laurie Anne Sakla - jello wrestler - domestic violence defender - model - mom
Chapters
Fascinating Women
Laurie Anne Sakla - jello wrestler - domestic violence defender - model - mom
Sep 02, 2020 Season 1 Episode 23
Laurie Anne Sakla

Laurie Anne is a woman with a fascinating past. Raised by a single mom with a unique perspective, was a wide-eyed innocent in the '80s, taken under the wing by members of big-name rock bands like big brothers. Traveled the world wrestling in jello, mud, and oil. Modeled impressively and still does; it is her balance in life.

Then an experience in relationship control changed her world and her path. She now has lines in the sand that she does not allow crossing. She has a passion and empathy for women in desperate situations.

Yet, she remains warm, bubbly, and engaging, Her eyes still sparkle.

There are some amazing insights in her conversation with Mark.
---------------
You can reach out to Laurie Anne
lauriesaklas@gmail.com

Here are a few of her credentials.
Masters of Social Work- specialization clinical social work, University of Calgary, Calgary, Alberta.

Bachelor of Arts-Sociology- Mount Royal University, Calgary, Alberta, 

Diploma of Social Work, Mount Royal College, Calgary, Alberta.
__________
Here are resources for assistance if you are at risk or know someone who is. :

Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter
https://www.calgarywomensshelter.com/

24 Hour Family Violence Helpline
(403)-234-7233

YW of Calgary - Crisis line and access to emergency shelter
https://www.ywcalgary.ca/
403-266-0707

From the Alberta.ca website

Family Violence-Help with costs to leave
https://www.alberta.ca/family-violence-costs-leave.aspx

Sagesse assists with education and workshops around family violence. Women may also access peer support groups and mentorship
https://www.sagesse.org/

HomeFront- Eliminating domestic violence through direct client services, justice coordination, and facilitated community action.
https://homefrontcalgary.com/main/
------------
About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography.
http://innerspiritphotography.com

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production

Show Notes Transcript

Laurie Anne is a woman with a fascinating past. Raised by a single mom with a unique perspective, was a wide-eyed innocent in the '80s, taken under the wing by members of big-name rock bands like big brothers. Traveled the world wrestling in jello, mud, and oil. Modeled impressively and still does; it is her balance in life.

Then an experience in relationship control changed her world and her path. She now has lines in the sand that she does not allow crossing. She has a passion and empathy for women in desperate situations.

Yet, she remains warm, bubbly, and engaging, Her eyes still sparkle.

There are some amazing insights in her conversation with Mark.
---------------
You can reach out to Laurie Anne
lauriesaklas@gmail.com

Here are a few of her credentials.
Masters of Social Work- specialization clinical social work, University of Calgary, Calgary, Alberta.

Bachelor of Arts-Sociology- Mount Royal University, Calgary, Alberta, 

Diploma of Social Work, Mount Royal College, Calgary, Alberta.
__________
Here are resources for assistance if you are at risk or know someone who is. :

Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter
https://www.calgarywomensshelter.com/

24 Hour Family Violence Helpline
(403)-234-7233

YW of Calgary - Crisis line and access to emergency shelter
https://www.ywcalgary.ca/
403-266-0707

From the Alberta.ca website

Family Violence-Help with costs to leave
https://www.alberta.ca/family-violence-costs-leave.aspx

Sagesse assists with education and workshops around family violence. Women may also access peer support groups and mentorship
https://www.sagesse.org/

HomeFront- Eliminating domestic violence through direct client services, justice coordination, and facilitated community action.
https://homefrontcalgary.com/main/
------------
About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography.
http://innerspiritphotography.com

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production

introduction :

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie.

Mark Laurie :

Hello, everyone, it's Mark Laurie here again from the fascinating women podcast normally and behind the lens with inner spirit photography, photographing amazing women, but today, I'm speaking with Laurie Ann Sackler. And she has a very, very diverse background that we're going to unravel today. Welcome, Laura. Laura, Laurie, Laurie, there we go. I was working so hard to get to not mess up the names and there I am.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's okay. Good morning, Mark. You're having me here today to talk about a little bit about I guess my background.

Mark Laurie :

Yeah, about you Everyone is their background.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's right.

Mark Laurie :

So going back to start though, going back with your childhood, what would be the top lesson you brought forward from your childhood?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Okay, wow. Tough Lessons.Well I guess it would really speak to my mother, my mother was really my biggest supporter, not only my biggest supporter, but at a very exemplary role model for myself was doing. You know, she was probably the kindest person I ever knew, never spoke l word about anyone. And if I learned anything from her would be her motto, which is people are people. And so that's something that has sat with me for most of my life. And, and I always go back to that thing, people are people, and it has made me more compassionate and kind human being, and just her role modeling that kind of behavior for myself and my sister and brother was pivotal to that. Yeah. So

Mark Laurie :

that's what I do.Something I think most of them seem to get that across. I got that from my mom as well. She said basically, there's good people and there's bad people spend your time with good people.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah. Twisted that. Yeah. And everybody's good. And everybody has some good in them. So,

Mark Laurie :

there, yeah, there is that as well.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Right. And, you know, which brings me, you know, kind of like, I've always look at people as it's not what's wrong with that person. But what happened to that person? What happened to that person on their journey that impacted their life, whether adverse event trauma, you know, so it's always I think that increases your level of understanding, keeping curious about that individual. So you become less judgmental.

Mark Laurie :

You're right. One of the mentors I have was, was talking about having discussions, and so few people have good discussions. It's more here's my point of view. Take it. Yeah, yeah. And his point was, Well, you've got to Find out why they came with your point of view and how far apart Are you really. And I think when you have that the compassion comes out and you start to understand where they come from. You don't have to agree with where they come from. But But when you understand they come from then you can find some common ground. Does that make kind of sense?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

For sure, like, agree to disagree? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I've got a few of those with some friends that have, you know, different political views and religious views. But, you know, that's what makes them so wonderful is that they are not like me. Yeah,

Mark Laurie :

yeah, the diversity is really important. So I think it keeps you in enriched it. So you've had a pretty diverse life as well. So before we get in with a deeper kind of stuff, you're, you're in the medical medical fields wrong or the more the social medical world maybe describe that a little bit.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So my training as clinical social work, I have a master's in clinical social work and are you know, an undergrad in psychology and sociology, Very curious about the human mind, obviously, in my case, people tick. And so and I continue on that journey and in terms of personal growth.

Mark Laurie :

So how far back Could you go? Before you start going? This is what I'm honing in on.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So I think it was as an adolescent I. I had several friends that committed suicide and completed suicide. And my best friend had fixated himself in his garage. Okay. As a young teen it really kind of mentally messed me up myself up so I ran away from home, right? God in the entertainment industry, as a first I started as a swimsuit model. And then I started wrestling, oil wrestling, jello wrestling, which really took me around the world. So it was, it was very interesting.

Mark Laurie :

That's brings a whole image into mind. Right, so um, yeah. So I think it was

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Back then and I wanted to help teens and children and and even in the entertainment industry watching people with addictions and mental health and just poor life choices and the impact of those poor life choices made me really want to help people.

Mark Laurie :

I remember a static came across a guy was talking about how many good decisions you have to make out of all the decisions you make in a day to be mediocre successful, and it is surprisingly low of all the photos of all the experiences for the choices you make from great to small. I think it's something like 7% 5% if you get 5% of all your decisions are right, your for good life. So it sort of suggests how few good, a few bad decisions a person can make before things kind of go sideways.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, well, I don't regret anything I've done but I have made lots of poor choices, especially in my intimate relationships.But I think it made me stronger person and I wouldn't change anything. Really

Mark Laurie :

yeah that's that's how I look at my background I'm kind of the sort of the same way about it and I don't know if poor choices is often a good phrase sometimes seems to me like you've got things are successful with and things are learning curves.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yes yes I think my whole life is learning curve really. So I'm still learning

Mark Laurie :

Oh, yeah, it's

Laurie Ann Sakla :

you know, every day just when I think I've heard it or seen it all something new happens. I'm like, wow, okay, another learning.

Mark Laurie :

So what are you curious about these days? Where's your curiosity take you

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Oh, wow. You know, so I'm currently a mental health therapist. Right. And I also work in physician wellness and and I also work at in pediatrics so I'm so Wow, I am I need variety right and I'm but I also do some modeling on the side. still continue with Some branding, and I love that creative. I just have the best of both worlds. It kind of balances out I have my professional career and then I get to do some fun stuff, which is my self care routine. So really, yeah, it actually is like, modeling is my self care, it gets me out of my head and be someone that nobody knows or no one, you know, because sometimes I've been told I'm unrelatable Okay, you know, or they view me as a professional and they don't know truly what my background is or where I come from. And it's always fascinating for them to find out. Oh, this girl once was a Mud Wrestler..

Mark Laurie :

So, a lot of people have that in the resume.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So, you know, like going back to people or people and when, you know, I just keep evolving and I'm a lifelong learner. Believe in professional development, that where and I see why have in the future. I don't know. I really don't know what this moment, I met a really good place and stage in my life where I you know, I have amazing relationships in my life that I've built and you know, really good supportive network. And I'm a connector. So I like connecting people. And if I can help someone further their career or you know, just guiding a young model or whatever that looks like I take pride in those connections. Cool. So for the future, I don't know I'm so open to that.

Mark Laurie :

Yes, you have so far to go. Such a little puppy. The gray beard. This look back on things. Yeah. We have seen a lot 40 years of photographing women. There's quite a variety in there that is coming along. Oh, for sure. So what belief is copy your childhood that is really been your rock for you. They just sit back and go that that's the thing that gets me through stuff.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Well, my mother was a very strong woman. She's a single mother of three children, dad and mother separated an early age. I think it was five at the time. And my father was the one man for her. Right? So she never ever engaged in another relationship after him. So she was single most most of my life, right? So just watching her independence and her strength, really gave me the strength and, um, you know, just her guidance, and she really gave me resiliency to deal with the hard times. And, and just, you know, just practicing kindness and gratefulness. Always being grateful has brought me more opportunities and staying optimistic. And I think a lot of people lose sight of what they do have. So she always encouraged us to release celebrate what we had. No, which as a single mother wasn't a lot, but I appreciated what her and what she could do for us and our life was rich.

Mark Laurie :

Money is useful, but it doesn't define how rich life can be, does it?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

No, it does not. And actually, money has been the root of all evil for a lot of people I know. And a lot of people have been misguided by AI material objects. I, you know,

Mark Laurie :

yeah, they can be it. And it's the thing with money, I think a lot of cases is it's not a young age, we're not trained how to work with it. And so it's a very powerful device that's like fire if you don't know how to look after a fire, you're gonna get burned. If you don't know how to handle money, it's gonna, it's gonna bite you because you don't have that mental grasp.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's right. And I can speak on that too, as well given like I was so young and making a lot of money in the entertainment industry and had no concept of accounting or unit I had some great leather outfits.

Mark Laurie :

That's my investment protocol.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

It's like I had leather and everything. But I didn't know how to manage my money and I wish someone did because I literally would have been set for life right? Mm hmm yeah,

Mark Laurie :

that's amazing the process of where money can take you ever experiences kind of take you in and gets on into that but but the the gratitude is powerful it I understand it actually releases chemicals in your brain when you're grateful say out loud to somebody. That's right. And I also I don't think people understand how far a kind word can go someone.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

You know, it makes my day it's not one of a male comments on my outfit, or my shoes or whatever that looks like your smile. It's when another woman actually reaches out to you and say has, hey, great outfit. It's rare that women practice that or will do that and I don't know why that is. You know, I think at a young age, we're taught to compete with one another. But I've always tried to embrace other women and make them feel comfortable around me and include them in our conversation. And if they bring something great, or there's something unique to them, I'm gonna comment on it. Yeah. And that makes a lot of women stays because you don't know what they're going through at home. That's right, you know, they, you know, so I think it really can lift people's spirits and go a long way.

Mark Laurie :

It does. It can lift person out of giving the confidence. They can feel it's just a very powerful effect. And I've I have noticed the people that I work with are highly successful and wealthy. And so their amount of humbleness and gratitude I can there's one fellow that is just an amazing individual. And how many of you had a conversation? It's like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, no, and I'm going wow, because we're not in the same plane, but he's he's respectful of everybody. Mm hmm. So your what's your mud and jello days? What were they like?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So, I was born in Vancouver, right? And so I'm an original Vancouver girl. And back in the 80s, early 90s. Vancouver really was really known for their music, steam and we had the best music producers sound engineers, obviously a little mountain sound. I was there. And my best friend was Darwin Brooks at the time, whose father owned a little mountain sound. Okay, so I always say little little mountain sound was my playground. Okay, so I got to go in there as the as a young adult female and spend time with David Lee Roth. How old are you say you're young? Oh, gosh, I think I was 1919. Okay, yeah. And I hung out with David Lee Roth. He liked to spend his time and seedy bars. And so we would go to the Cecil Hotel, and have some drinks and watch some exotic entertainment and it's a grad time like looking back on that. Now it seems surreal. You know that I met the guys from poison and slaughter and so many musicians became best friends with Bob ron paul Hyde. Not Fernando Loverboy the drummer, actually, I can stir like my big brother. So he is the one that looked out for me when I was getting out of hand. So he knows he's reined me in. That's an odd concept to have rock bands. Rainey knew when they were reading him because they knew as a young girl, and I was impressionable, and I was just really friendly, and they knew that some people would take advantage of that. So not really, really was like, always my big brother like No, don't do that. That's not a good idea. But you know, I'm glad I have that lived experience. It was just such a fun time and, you know, I like jealous In jello like Who doesn't? I think cherry is my favorite

Mark Laurie :

How big is it? Is the jello container up?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So you see it's a swimming pool okay now those like inflatable swimming pools my gosh i can't i don't know what size that would be like six feet yeah around that yeah something like that and you know they would just cube out a ton of jello I don't know if people were making in their bathtub and you know they just don't throw it in and you'd be in there with another girl and some moves were you know in advance we knew what was going on. If you grab a girl by the back of the head, you're going to shake your head right right. So some of it was pure acting and that some of it was not a few times I got in the ring with a big six foot tall blonde and I'm a little burnout and got my ass whooped. You know, find it was it was fun. No think my parents were too happy about that, but I you know, it led me to, you know some great opportunities. I learned a Foxy boxing for Playboy and so works on the Playboy clubs in the states got sent to Hawaii for three months lived on the Big Island which was wonderful. I surfed and snorkeled every day and did my four shows a day and that was oil wrestling right? But I you know, but just it was great like I I actually worked Bon Jovi, Jon Bon Jovi stag. And that was one of the most surreal moments of my life, you know, like sitting there with Richie Sambora and me my bikinis getting drinks, but you know, it was great. It was a great opportunity. It was a lot of fun. Some people let's say I was objectified, but you know what, I made a lot of money. And I had a lot of fun and like I said, a great leather outfits

Mark Laurie :

Yeah, that we had photographed a lot of girls doing the same kind of thing in the early days. Yeah. And yeah, they were embracing it like this you know, some of the labels I get that they're there people are sort of post putting that back onto Yeah, thinking back in the girls and going, No, they had a good time. This was Yeah, it was their choice and they really embraced it. And they took control of it.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

And I and I agree in and you know, I agree and a lot of people say, Oh my God, you are exploited. I never felt exploited. I always had a good time when it didn't become fun. I stopped doing it. Really simple. So it's not it's that simple. And

Mark Laurie :

I think sometimes the lens with which people look at the past they don't, they don't take into account what it was like in those days. Oh, going back, far back to the John A McDonald things and, and even the 80s you look at the lens from today's things they will not that's an appropriate that bad but when you have it. At the time. It was the thick of it. It was Yeah, it was quite quite alright.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, it was, you know, there was a band playing in every hotel back That's right. So you know, those guys became our brothers and best friends. And then looked after us and we looked after them. And, um, you know, you traveled around Canada and the states and you know, and, you know, I was on many a tour bus, that's who I traveled with. And, you know, it was, you know, it was just it was a different, totally different atmosphere,

Mark Laurie :

it's really hard to describe someone what that was like and how it's not the way they perceive it necessarily for it. So bringing that forward, how did that sort of shape you the next stage of your life

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So, like I said, I so I got ended up getting pregnant during this time, and I decided that I didn't want my son to be raised in that lifestyle. I don't think it would be a healthy lifestyle, always traveling and just the work hours and and numerous things. And so I came back to Calgary and moved in with my mom when I was about four months pregnant and just kind of showed up said, Hey, I'm pregnant. Um, you know, and so I decided that school and this was the time I should get my Social Work diploma. So I actually while I was pregnant, went to Mount Royal College and got my diploma in social work during that time and then actually was employed right away. Working with persons with disabilities, which was a great experience that Yeah, very interesting situations there that I was always in because I worked with highly violent, aggressive individuals. so paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar, depression, manic So, you know, so there was some pretty interesting situations where I had been assaulted a few times and, you know, and then some people came to me and said, you know, why don't you become a correctional officer because you won't get assaulted? And I was thinking, Well, that sounds like a good idea, right? So yes, I kind of that led me into Working in corrections, which actually was a good choice for me because I was not assaulted in corrections. They have kind of their own code offenders, and they're very respectful of female officers. And yeah, so I never had any issues. So I was a surveillance officer. So is out in the community of Calgary checking on people in their homes. And yeah, so you never knew what you're going to walk into. You know, sometimes there'd be a drug deal going on when I show up at the door. And then I'd be like, Oh, this is a breach. But, you know, so it was fascinating. I really enjoyed it. Mm hmm. And somewhere along the way, you were part owner of a sports team. Yeah. So my ex husband and I a professional sports team. So our lacrosse team and so that was really interesting. He was a part we owned it partly with two other individuals. You No. And when I married him, it was quite interesting. Because I wasn't in their crowd, right. So I would show up at the games in the box with a group of my girls, I call them my girl squad. Okay, and you know, I just have a few drinks and have fun and just be like, and, you know, they, they were always in the way I think serious sports people want to be trifled. No, they doubt but you know, like, I never grew up before cross, right. So and he had and so he was very passionate about lacrosse, and he did a lot of good for a little across the community. And yeah, so yeah, it was really fun. We had some interesting moments. Yeah. So my son we have a son together and he actually from Tommy's barn has been playing lacrosse, right? He's like kind of lacrosse stick over his bass.

Mark Laurie :

Yeah, Destiny, did he Yeah. So but ya know,

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So and he he does quite well I'm across to his older brothers are professional lacrosse players. So he's got lots of role models. Yeah. So, so cool. Yeah, no, it was it was really fun. You know, a lot of people didn't like me because when we got divorced, I was the bad lady in the box, right? Oh, she got all the money in the divorce. I want everyone to know, I got nothing. Nada, nothing in the divorce.

Mark Laurie :

So, why was that? Was that a choice you want to go off or just the way it worked out?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So the marriage is very short. It was short duration. And, and just I you know, I wasn't really entitled to anything. He owned a lot of it before me and yeah,

Mark Laurie :

So you approach it with a sense of fairness.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, I you know, I tried. I tried to be fair, and, you know, unfortunately he, you know, we we struggle still today our relationship and he's very controlling and, you know, there was some abuse In the marriage, some verbal and emotional abuse, which that really actually molded me more than anything in that relationship where I found my passion and my passion is domestic violence. And it really led me to finding a position working with women and domestic violence survivors and helping them find their own voices and narratives. And I just I love, I love seeing a woman find herself. It's just nothing like it when they find their voice.

Mark Laurie :

Yes. That's close to my heart, because of course, we're a transformational photographer. Yeah, so the course of even for hours I spent up to 10 hours with our clients, but in that photo, shoot, we see a woman come in who's who's there because she wants to be confident or wants a fighter voice or something. And the way we structure the photoshoot, we get to see that now not nearly the depth that you do with the practice that you take. But we're part of a part of the program, I guess you'd call it into what they're doing. And to, to watch a woman change a perspective of herself is It's amazing. I just love it.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, no and I, I totally could see that just with I would take these women for a haircut or their nails done or just a facial, some kind of form of self care for them and the transformation just from that little thing because I know from from my past marriages that I had no confidence, no self esteem as probably the lowest point in my life where I was like, and I had postpartum depression on top of it that was undiagnosed. So that definitely was the lowest point in my life. And somewhere I found my strength and then when I see these women find their strength. You know, it just makes my day and I, I it has led me to my current motto, which is okay, how can I make your life better today? That's an amazing model. That's a very serene motto, I get some powerful, powerful. Yeah, I wholeheartedly believe that that is important. It's really important.

Mark Laurie :

So when you say that to someone, what kind of response to normally get? Do you get people saying, oh, here's what I need? Or they kind of I'm not too sure we come in for like, What? What's your normal response?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

They don't know how to, they don't know how to take me. They're like, you know, you get the, like defensive people or you get them like, what do you want from me? Um, you know, I'm like, No, truly, I'm interested in knowing what you need, from me, our relationship, our contact, whatever, that is our interaction event. What What does that look like for you? And how can how can I improve your life? You know, because every interaction to me improves my life in some way or enriches my life in some way. You know, whether it's a learning moment, aha moment, a, you know, whatever that looks like.

Mark Laurie :

It takes on many shapes. It does one of the books I've read a long time ago, I should try and find the title of it again, reread it, but the one of the core tenants in it was is that there's a sea of people. That swarm past you every day, Mm hmm. And yet, every now and then someone will stand out. Like, if you notice them. Yeah. And the book's purpose was to act on that. Because otherwise until you act to keep on seeing that person or someone like them, because there's a lesson that education and connection is something that the, that the, the spirit spots, and yes, the the helpful thing is it leads you down many paths.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

It does. I had a situation with a woman in Starbucks and she looked frazzled. And so I just gently tapped her and I said, Are you okay? And just says words flooded, like she just flooded like, you know, and said I'm not okay. And, and then she just sat down with me and I spoke to her for a little bit and you know, I think people just need to talk right and and communicate and just validating their feelings that they're being heard.

Mark Laurie :

so powerful because people even if they're acted upon just the act of sharing where I'm at right now. Yeah. That your role is just ears, you just listened to what it is. And often as they speak it they find their own solutions. Yes. Or at least their own comfort area.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Mm hmm. Yeah, no and not enough people stop, right to take that moment and check in with their fellow human beings. Right. And if more people would check on one another, we'd have a much happier world.

Mark Laurie :

It's drifting apart. Like, it's, it's the cool thing is be kind of interesting because of how people are being forced to relate. Yeah, I heard some of these jokes that there's a lady in my house. I think she's my wife. I think she's the cleaner. She seems like a nice person.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, yeah. I yeah, it's fascinating world we're living in I you know, it's we're losing that connection more and more, unfortunately, and more people are becoming divided and You know, I'm not loving where we are at in the world today, you know, and but we need to find other ways to reconnect.

Mark Laurie :

We do. I've been fortunate I keep on that's one of the advantages of the podcast is I get, it's a way for me to connect to people. Yes, very, very diverse people sets are coming, because without this would never have met. Yeah, no, for sure. So when someone asks you Mm Hmm, what can they do for you? What do you how do you respond?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Oh, you know,here's my,weakness, okay. I'm more I get more into giving than receiving. So it's really hard for me to accept, I guess help sometimes there's resistance or recognize when I'm floundering, right. So I'm, I'm always more interested in hearing how other people are doing my friends know when I'm not doing well they check in and, you know, that's the great thing about my friends is they automatically know Like, oh, she's quiet or something's going on or, but you know, sometimes it's just talking like we are today, I need that human interaction. And so yeah, or you know, just going for coffee with one a friend or I'm really big on relationships and relationships. For me I have a lot of value. And I value the relationships I have. So to me maintenance is a big thing.

Mark Laurie :

So your relationships deeper than were surface.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

My core group right now are quite deep. And you know, you weed out the bad ones as you go over the years and you know, they're that they're had their own agenda, whatever that looks like. You know, and the friends I have now I will have for life. And I go back quite a ways. My best friend Michelle, we've known each other since grade seven, while my other three girlfriends we've known each other since 20. These are the girls I hang out with today.

Mark Laurie :

That's powerful. The stats I've read is every seven years, usually for the majority people, your friends turnover. Oh, so if you talk to the average person, their friends that current friends don't go back more than seven years. It's very rare to have someone going back more than that.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Wow, I didn't see I did not know that.

Mark Laurie :

Yeah, so they're very treasured, very treasured,

Laurie Ann Sakla :

They are and you know, like, I've been so fortunate. And then I've had some new people come into my life that have really been the cherry on the top two, and that we've just connected from the moment we opened our mouths, you know, when you get that instant connection, there's nothing better than that. And then there's, there's been a male friend of mine that's been in my life for 30 years. And him and I have have a very deep soul connection, and we check on one another all the time.

Mark Laurie :

So so when you go deep in your conversations, and this is what people recognize the difference between shallow and a depth Yes. What kind of conversations you have when you're going into it into a deep conversation when you're going beyond the surface of isn't the weather nice today and who's gonna win that game and politics and stuff?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Oh, well, we will talk about current events.

Mark Laurie :

Yes, yeah. When you go down lower when you sit back and say, Okay, this is gonna be a bonding conversation.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Sure. I will talk about feelings and emotions and how we're truly feeling about the situations or scenarios, whether it's racism or, you know, COVID, or, you know, we talk about, they're the only people I would literally come out and say, what is happening in my life today, and they're the people that know, my background, my history, and I've never felt judged, right? And I can tell them most any anything in the world, and feel safe doing that.

Mark Laurie :

That's a key thing. If you're gonna have a deep conversation, if you're gonna share that deeply. It's not something that comes out of a workshop, it's you've got to really feel that the people See the whole you understand this this sliver that you're struggling with? You want to express? Is that fair?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Oh, yeah, no, for sure I yeah, you have to be in a safe environment. I can't I couldn't speak my truth to every individual. Even my own siblings don't understand me. But that's where your friends come in. Right when your family quite isn't there for you. And I think we all struggle with our family threat, right. So yeah, you, I, it's important for me to speak my truth. And it's important for my friends to speak the truth to me. And if they're upset with me, we can see we're upset with one another and there'll be no hard feelings we get past it. Yeah. You know, my girlfriend that I've been friends with since grade seven. We've had maybe one argument in you know, since grade seven. So you know, and it was silly.

Mark Laurie :

Yeah. Probably speaks to acceptance. Like, I find a lot of people I find are either from the social media things have gotten thin skin and they like to explode a casual comment, if you will. That seems sense.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

that's accurate. I would say watching social media is like a ticking time bomb right now for a lot of people and you're just like, wow, like I think since since March, I've probably deleted so many people that I've just, you know, I don't know, they their mental health is definitely I would say, you know, at risk. Yeah. And, and I, you know, I don't know what to say I and then some people believe that it's really brought out our true selves. I don't know if I agree with that.

Mark Laurie :

I don't. I think there's a sense of potshots safety. If you ask that I can make this thing kind of anonymously. Even if my name's there. I can kind of make this shot. And if I stir up the pot enough, and sometimes I'm looking for a reaction, I don't mean sometimes it Usually there's an agenda someone is trying to has read a book, like he can almost spot when a book has come out and say these things, do these things and you'll get more traffic. Yes, yeah. And so you can see the different agendas of people trying to ramp up their reviews. And it's, it's, um, it always has kind of puzzled me

Laurie Ann Sakla :

So, yeah, yes, I did have one explosive conversation with a girlfriend where she just immediately started yelling at me because she felt she wasn't being heard. And, and I set her up. I hear you. The thing is, is I don't have the same values as you so either you can respect that. Or, like, again, agree to disagree. Yeah. Or I guess I don't know where our friendship will lie at the end of this. Yeah. You know, because I'm hearing what people are saying and I and I get people are scared right now. And a lot of it is coming from a place of fear. And people are running on fear right now.

Mark Laurie :

They are .this a lot. I guess, for me, I have such a sanctuary here. Yeah, clients come into my studio, we've got a project her body speaks, and we'll have just a whole bunch of women. And it's just a very, very safe space. And so I get, I don't see as much turmoil as a lot of people that are very fortunate that way.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's a great project to work on. Right.

Mark Laurie :

So it's kind of cool. It's been it's been fun.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's excellent.

Mark Laurie :

And the modeling that you work with now, Mm hmm. What type of modeling Do you do that appeals to you?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Uh, you know, just print. You know, I? I don't know I'm more of a glamour girl. Right? So your ad is still there. It's still there.

Mark Laurie :

Right? I've got to share this listeners. She walked in today and it's neon green boots and skirt and it's the light to see it was this one.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

That's my personality. Right. If it works well.

Mark Laurie :

It's it's consistent. It's just it's wonderfully frame but I just had to share that that was good. Thanks. So you're looking for volume that's the spark fun. The bounce of the of the pretty serious work that you do. And then this is kind of frivolous. Probably a bad term but but it's it's playful. This is where you get to play in and just blow off steam that gives you balance.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, it gives me balance and you know I love the way some social media has gone with women that are aging now in terms of it's acceptable all body sizes are acceptable. Women aging now are not discounted. So I always like to one of my big things is gender or age will not define me. So I'll keep modeling as long as I can. And have fun with it.

Mark Laurie :

You know, there's I came across a modeling agency in Russia and they will not hire a model under 65 years old. Fabulous. It's and they're pretty amazing people. Their their looks are stunning. They're sought after by yeah Trying to embrace the older models. So they finally dawned on the some of the marketers that women in their 50s who want to spend really good money will not be enticed by a young girl and in the things they want to buy, they just, they just like, that's not they don't relate to that. So they're going for we need a woman of appropriate age. Look for,

Laurie Ann Sakla :

right. And so, I love local designer Kate hyukoh. Okay, who I have done some runway shows for modeled summer her product. She got her mindset, and that's her belief. So you'll see her Instagram account is all older models, because that is buying her product. Yes, right. It's not the 20 year olds. So why not have the women actually wear the clothes, model clothes.

Mark Laurie :

yes that makes so much sense, It's really clever. So what would be an inspirational quote for you? What's up on your wall?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

What's up on my wall? You know, I don't know this sounds kind of cheesy, but do onto others the same they woudl do on to you I'd be would be I kind of guessed that would it be? Yeah. What's your take? Yeah. So, um, you know, there's nothing I can think of this video right now in my head, but you know I am I practice some of the Buddhist faith in my life. So I'll go to the temple and meditate and but you know, just really practicing kindness and compassion every day. You know, I'm aware of that. Yeah. And and just trying to understand. I'm I, you know, I, I talked about understanding. I, like I said this 30 year relationship with this male friend of mine. I'm always seeking to understand him. And I don't yet I don't but I'm remaining curious and hopeful. And I it's just interesting to me people. I think it's hard to say oh, I understand that person. Yes. Because we're fluid. Yes.

Mark Laurie :

So from day to day. Something's happened in my life and their life. Yeah, that has changed them. Mm hmm. And so now they're not the same person as they were 24 hours a year ago, two years ago. That's right. And I've also noticed that people don't want to let that go. Like, they'll dig back to some obscure post that somebody made 15 years ago, and then they'll beat them up with it. And don't you think I've moved beyond that? You know, they don't make allowances for that sometimes.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah. Yeah, no, I, you know, I just, I just keep that curiosity, keeping curiosity and wanting to understand dead, you know, and I just tried to stay humble and grateful.

Mark Laurie :

Well, those are powerful, powerful trays for you to work with. Mm hmm. Really, really well, well, they've served me well and certainly I've done well and in all my careers, just for the fact that I have been open and you know, flexible and, you know, eager, eager to learn and sounds like you'd say that you recognize an oppertunity And take advantage of advantage is the wrong term. You stepped into opportunity.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

I do I do. So I'll give you an example from a shoot I did, which was for my friend that has a jewel jewelry store 100 year old jewelry store in Hamilton. Okay. So some of my friends saw some of the photos from that shoot, and then I was offered another job because of that shoot, and then another person wanted to use one of the photos and then I'm in other worlds and other opportunities. So that's why I'm like, and I never say no. My mum passed away in 2008. A few weeks before her birthday. She was Miss Montreal. She was cut by this honestly so to speak. She is Miss Montreal and she's young. I don't know the age unfortunately. But I tried to celebrate her birthday every year in June by stepping out of my box. Okay. So the first year she passed I entered Mrs. Calgary pageant Just because she used to be a pageant queen. And I entered just and it was in June they're hosting in June Patti Faulkner How did in June right. And I thought I wanted to go and give a speech about organ donation. So I went and I had everyone knows in tears I gave a speech but that was a big moment for me and and talking about my mom and impacted my mom and I was so adamantly against organ donation when my mom first told me she wanted organs donated because I wanted to keep her whole right. Just wanted to keep her whole and then, you know, when she passed, it was the most peaceful passing. And I went to the window and I opened the window and I felt like her spirit left. And to me death isn't scary anymore. And so that was a pivotal moment for me because so now every June I step out of my box, whether it's bungee jumping in and IMO right off the bridge or skydiving in Arizona, and Beauty Pageant you know in honor of her that's what I try and do every June unfortunately this June there's nothing really given COVID other than maybe not wearing mascara Right?

Mark Laurie :

that's risky in a dangerous way.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah, right.

Mark Laurie :

I understand you're saying there I just came across an article a lady on our hundred and second birthday. Did parachute on a plane skydiving nice. And she she goes up with her Walker and her backpack on the plane. And then she when they leave, they give her her Walker and she's leaving this thing and it's just it was so surreal. Yeah, but that's a lifetime of passion, a lifetime of stepping out thing

Laurie Ann Sakla :

it is and um, you know, I rarely say no to an opportunity unless it's something totally against my values. And I'll say no, but I really say no, and it's I've lived my life like that. And I've taken my friends on some crazy adventures. Yes, you would. Yeah.

Mark Laurie :

Can I can really see that. So is there any resources that people could consider looking at to give to get as good themselves in a similar path that you've been on?

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Oh my gosh. I think people have their own defining moments. Whatever that looks like, for me, it was domestic violence. I think the community outreach team at YWCA is an amazing team. They'll meet women out in the public in a coffee shop, and just talk to them and see where they're at. Are they ready to leave? Are they not ready to leave? Let's safety plan, whatever that looks like. Right? So target women's emergency shelter also has an outreach program that meets women in the community because usually it takes women eight to 11 times before they'll leave an abusive relation really, I had no idea. Yes, and for whatever reason, economically, whatever reason, they want to stay. So they may I think it's an amazing program. I'm at both organizations, so they do a really good job. They have a 24 hour crisis line woman can reach out to and talk to you and get some resources. There is court support out there for women that are fleeing an abusive relationship. They do have someone supporting you in your application right at the courthouse. Um, yeah, there's so many good resources in Calgary. You know, it's an issue that obviously I'm passionate about, but there's so many great resources in Calgary. Yeah, it's we've been count. There's been a lot of our clients. I've know some got a thread of that force and, and it's always sad for me to see but I like to see their voice stepping up the same time. It's kind of getting it out there. Mm hmm.

Mark Laurie :

So what's your biggest piece of sunshine? We're gonna end on that. What What is your biggest piece of sunshine is when you got up this week, and you go, this is why this is a good week. Oh my gosh. I've been training all week. Okay, then next week or last week.

Laurie Ann Sakla :

You know, I'm honored every time someone tells me their narrative. Right? And so for me, I that makes my day so much sharing a piece of themselves with me, because they trust me.

Mark Laurie :

I can see that would that would be a highlight. Yes, that's a big step up. So that would make it for me. Thank you for your time today. been really a great conversation. It's been interesting. I never know where these are gonna go jello was not what I was expecting. But

Laurie Ann Sakla :

Yeah but neither did I, I knew it was going to come in this interview, it could have gone one of two ways. ways

Mark Laurie :

yeah, that's great. So this has been Mark Laurie with Laurie and sokola from fascinating women. Check her podcast we'd love it if you would become a subscriber and listen to us all the time. We have very diverse show women check into her body speaks as well. Her body speaks.ca not some other project run that gives voice to women. And this is Mark Laurie from inner spirit photography and fascinating women saying thank you for joining us. Bye now.

Exit speaker :

This has been fascinating with with Mark Laurie. Join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women does. Fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Leigh Ellis and my office media.