Kim LaMontagne's conversation strayed into some interesting places. Her story of rising from a family stew of alcoholism to getting sober, along with signs to watch for is inspiring. Kim talks about becoming more fearless, how and why to set personal boundaries in a healthy way.
How the face of failure is growth. She shared the bold move of selling everything, buying what is really a self-owned caravan, 60 feet long, to travel freely. She shares her perfect day in a way that may help you find yours.
I think you will enjoy listening on her conversation with me. It is invigorating.
About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography.
Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis - firstname.lastname@example.org
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production
About Kim LaMontagne
Kim believes we must start the conversation now about mental health.
Especially in the workplace.
Follow Kim on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and YouTube
Kim LaMontagne has devoted her life to helping others survive and thrive in the face of mental illness. After suffering in silence in the workplace with anxiety, major depression, suicidal thoughts, and alcohol use disorder, Kim has found recovery and a life of true happiness.
A consistent top performer, Kim suffered alone in the workplace because of shame and fear of stigma. Her professional performance never wavered, but inside she was broken, empty and on the verge of giving up.
On July 16, 2020, she celebrated 11 years of sobriety.
Kim recognized her story was not unique and that leaders need solutions to help foster a mentally healthy workplace culture. A culture where everyone feels safe enough to come forward and say - I’m not ok and I need help.
As a solution, she created the "4 Pillars of Creating and Sustaining a Mentally Healthy Workplace Culture."
Corporate training that teaches organizations how to:
*Recognize the impact of mental illness in the workplace
*Share the lived experience to bring the human connection to mental illness
*Change the perception of mental illness and decrease stigma
*Create an environment of safety in the workplace
The training launches the Fall of 2020.
I invite you to click the link for details, take an organizational well-being assessment, and book a consult.
Kim is a Speaker, State Trainer, Teacher, and Advocate with National Alliance on Mental Illness, a Member of the Dartmouth Hitchcock Health System Campaign to Combat Stigma and Discrimination, and the USA Director of The Uncommon Woman International Chapters.
She speaks frequently at conferences, nursing grand rounds, is a visionary author for the book “It’s Ok to Not Be Ok” and a contributing author to the book “The Strength of Our Anchors.”
You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie.Mark Laurie :
Well, hello, everyone. This time we've got the far reaches of Florida. I've got a lady Kim LaMontagne, who packed up her home I mean, like, sold it and then packed herself up into this neat mobile and cruise down to Florida where she stuck because of course COVID but she is an amazingly vibrant lady who is used to taking leaps of faith and surviving. And we're going to be sharing with you some of the personality traits and experiences that kind of got her onto that track that allows her to take these leaps and perhaps you can draw from that and be kind of good. So welcome Kim Lamontagne,Kim LaMontagne :
thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here from sunny Florida.Mark Laurie :
It's, it's well, you can't you can't see here because this podcast, of course, but she's she's got this cute bikini on her hair's all ruffled up. She just looked over here. So you started up in? Have you always lived up as the Nebraskas? No wasn't the Nebraska? brassicas? Where would you goKim LaMontagne :
New England? I was in New Hampshire for many years. And I grew up in Massachusetts. Yes.Mark Laurie :
So you travel a little bit.Kim LaMontagne :
I have and you know, for many, many years, I traveled in a in a corporate job, where I did sales and business development. And I traveled around the country and I fell in love with every place that I went to. And I literally could not decide when I sold my home where I wanted to go to so I decided to do the next best thing. And that is to buy the big old coach and travel wherever and whenever I'd like to. So I really enjoy it. Lots of freedom.Mark Laurie :
Yeah, you're a tumbleweed?Kim LaMontagne :
I am. Yes, I am.Mark Laurie :
So when you're when you're growing up, did you have any sense of where this path would take you? Do you have any any life events that happened when you're young?Kim LaMontagne :
You know, when I was young, I was told that I was always going to get into the helping profession. And I always thought that was me becoming a nurse which I never became a nurse, I started nursing school but never finished it. I had to do my clinicals and give up my full time job unable to accommodate that. So I never did that. But I always knew that I was going to be in the helping profession.Mark Laurie :
Did parents condition you to that or is that you're five years old. I'm going to help people.Kim LaMontagne :
I've always been a helper. And I had actually had a psychic reading, I don't even know what age it was that I had that reading and that person said, you're going to be in the helping profession. And I knew in some way shape or form that I would be. But I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought that I would be using my own personal life experiences and the ups and downs and twists and turns that I took throughout my lifetime to be able to empower others to you know, step boldly and bravely into their purpose. And more importantly, and I'm sure we'll get into this, but I'm 11 years sober from alcohol. And I survived behind a mask in the corporate setting for many, many years as a high performing corporate executive. So when youMark Laurie :
Yeah, so because no one starts off going, you know, I'm gonna be an alcoholic that doesn't start that way. So what are the especially today is, as you know, people like your house and so on. What are some of the things if looking back you go, Oh, that's where I started to slide into that lifestyle.Kim LaMontagne :
Very clear to me. I knew that when I was growing up, my parents always at the strike of five o'clock, my mom used to make my data, scotch and water with the twist of lemon every day. And I was probably in second or third grade. And she would always say take this to your dad and I would walk from the kitchen through the dining room into the sunroom and I would deliver that drink. But I was I would always take a couple of steps along the way. It didn't occur to me then. But when it did occur to me is that I did do a little bit of drinking in high school. But when I got to college, I really started to drink and my first semester, my first semester that I came home during spring break, I could not make it through the entire Spring Break without drinking. And that's when I said, Whoa, I think there's something going on here I had the craving the taste the the desire. And that's when I started kind of paying attention to it. But I kept it a secret because I didn't want to say a word to anyone because I didn't want to give up the alcohol or admit that I had a problem. And it wasn't until I was 38 years old that I finally stepped forward and say I said back then I said I'm an alcoholic. And now I realized that I'm a person who lives with alcohol use disorder. I am a person who has very well controlled suicidal thoughts. I no longer have them but You know, I finally realized through the therapy and through me really understanding who I am, and working through all those challenges that I was able to make it to the other side. And now I teach others who are really feeling shameful and unworthy, because maybe they have a dark secret that they're hiding. And they don't want to be found out. Maybe it's a corporate executive who is performing like me. And at the end of the day, they're taking off that mask of performance. And they're slinging back 5689 beers or glasses of wine, which isMark Laurie :
a bunch of different things you can kind of play with. But as you're going through all these processes, looking back, is there three beliefs that guide you, they just sit back and say, Okay, these are the cornerstone of how I function.Kim LaMontagne :
The way I currently function right now is 100%. Know that everything happens for me and not to me, right? First and foremost, if something happens to me, I no longer stress out about it. I say, Okay, what is the lesson I'm supposed to be learning here. The other belief is that I am, I am a whole person, and I am a person first, I am not my disease, my disease, and I am not defined by my disease in any way, shape, or form. And thirdly, I am a bold change maker who is ready and willing, and fully stepping into my purpose to share my lived experience for the for the purpose of giving other people permission, and allowing other people to feel safe enough to say, Wow, so I identify with her story, I need to I need to step forward and ask for help, too.Mark Laurie :
Did you develop the like this, they sound like they're not a sound, here's something new, there's something that sounds like you've developed recently, have you got any chords that go way back to back and that those are built on?Kim LaMontagne :
I would say a lot of it is recently because I quit drinking back in 2009, July 16 2009. And it was not until Memorial Day weekend of 2016 that my light finally came back on and I realized that I am worthy. And I'm and I'm beautiful. And not physically but just we are beautiful human beings. And my feeling of shame because of my disease clouded my ability to see myself as worthy. So I would say honestly, since 2016, the massive investment that I've made in personal development, peeling back the layers to understand the beautiful, the bad, and the ugly parts, and accepting every single one of them has really been transformational for me. And it shines through. And in other markets,Mark Laurie :
we've done photography, that's where we come people in who don't quite seem to have a look to the kind of confidence that works. So who inspires you? What kind of women? Do you sit back and go here to sit back or you've probably got a mountain of people, but go back to as far as you can, the person who you found most inspiring for the longest.Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, my goodness, I would say to be honest with you. One person who is the most inspiring for me is someone who I used to work with her name is Connie. He owned a company called health care review. And I worked for her for many, many years. She is like a second mom to me. And I love her and she inspires me because she is bold. She is a beautiful individual who is not afraid to to make waves when it's the right time and for the right purpose. And she is really the one who allowed me to step into part of my purpose, which was sales and business development back in the day. And she's the one who told me, You know what, everyone is the same. Whether you are a custodian or you're the CEO of a company. That individual puts their pants on the same way, one leg at a time. And I've never forgotten her. So whenever I feel like, oh, there's a CEO of a company, I have to be intimidated. I immediately think No, he's a person. He just has a big title, and rightfully so. But he has the same type of person as me. He has the same struggles. He gets dressed the same way. He's exposed to the same things and she allowed me to be able to give me the confidence to step forward and have conversations with bold changemakers who have big titles to allow to make the biggest impact possible. That's great.Mark Laurie :
It's I think it's important to have and recognize who your your mentors are your inspiration people are because you there's a phrase that came across one time that Be careful what you think because that becomes what you believe the character to play that becomes what you do and so on. And it's who you're who you associate with or who you idolize starts to shape so Much of those core beliefs, you start to kind of build through things. Mm hmm. Yeah. What personality trait Do you wish you had?Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, personality trait that I wished I had? Oh, my goodness. You know what? I'm not sure that I wish I had anything because I know that all the personality traits that I have right now are the ones that I'm supposed to have. Because those are the those are the ones that were given to me. You know, I think my personality right now it's very, very bubbly, very open. I'm an individual that people look to for safety and guidance and mentorship. And I think that all the personality traits that I have right now, or are the traits that I need, will I grow into new traits? Absolutely. But those new traits.Mark Laurie :
So what new trait Would you like to grow into? We sit back and go, Okay, I want to shake myself into this trait, this habit?Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, boy? Ah, that's a great question. That's a tough question. I would probably say, I'm not a fearful person. But I would like to be even less fearful. I would like to be have that personality that says, you know, what, one of my personality traits that I would really love to enhance, is always, always, always doing what makes me 100%. Happy. And I do that about 98% of the time, but there's about 2% of the time where I'm like, Oh, I shouldn't do that. Because of X, Y, and Z. Or, because I could. I'm a people pleaser, right? So maybe shifting a little bit away from that. However, you know, I work with coaches right now, personal development coaches, intuitive coaches, and I'm working very hard on that people pleasing. I've set boundaries, where boundaries need to be. But there's always that room for growth. So how I can get toMark Laurie :
a place of work. When setting boundaries, I've got to, because we've, I've interviewed a lot of people, the people pleasing thing that comes up quite a bit, that is a process that maybe my photography is a is a problem that most women have to overcome, because they're conditioned, so young, and it's almost a control technique. What kind of steps can a person take or do take to, to step back and be less of a people pleaser? It's sort of a tricky term, because you don't want to not please people intentionally. The same token, you don't want to subjugate yourself so that you're kind of stuck in place. So how does a person start to set boundaries.Kim LaMontagne :
So one of the things that I've learned is that as we are growing and transforming and stepping into our purpose, that our boundaries have to be adjusted for us to serve at the highest level possible. So things that I used to tolerate, I can no longer tolerate because those things are now taking my time and my energy away from what's most important. So it's, it's recognizing that you deserve boundaries. Many people feel like they don't deserve boundaries, but boundaries are the healthiest things that you can set.Mark Laurie :
How could a person like once you sit back say okay, so I'm not gonna let that person this boundary set this boundary, how can a person Express boundaries in other people,Kim LaMontagne :
what they can do is they can recognize the other individual who might be encroaching on their boundaries and have an open conversation with that individual and say, You know what, I really respect the work that you're doing, I respect that, you know, we've got this great relationship, but I'm finding right now that I really need to, I've got x, y and z projects and things that I need to make a commitment on so I am hundred percent willing to be here for you. But I may have to be here for you at a different level because right now I'm feeling called right now to serve at such a high level that I just need to be sure that my time is spent appropriately it is not any type of a reflection on you. But I'm just really trying to step into my purpose fully and I invite you to do the same thing if maybe you are having issues with boundaries soMark Laurie :
for boundaries and you're somebody they'll have impede upon a person's time they'll try absorb too much like a boundary that's a big problem with it. Not be able to say no when your plates too full, these are the kind of things that boundaries reflect its boundaries is kind of a I find that sort of a vague word. It's one of those things as I go through law and marketing training that I come across these these programs and they're worded in such way they're kind of vague and you think Yeah, they kind of apply to everything. And so I'm trying to get some listeners to well what what kind of boundaries Can you can you possibly set some people pop the brain I'm in a bar and someone's coming to close my personal space that is a boundary but you're talking about bigger picture boundary, aren't you?Kim LaMontagne :
I am I'm talking about a very big picture because you're interviewing women who are you know, doing both things right now. And those are the women who are have to be very protective of their boundaries, because they know how much their gifts mean to other people and how much it will impact. And I went through a training with Rachel Hollis, probably two, three months or so ago. And in that training, she was talking about how there are people in our, in our lives and the stories, there's the heroes, they're the victims. And when we are not creating the right boundaries, and not saying no to things, right, we are catering more so to the victim. So maybe that individual who's impeding our boundaries, and repeatedly asking for things that just don't fully align with who you are or who I am. It takes time away from those individuals who truly need the work that I am doing, that others are doing. And what I have learned is that no is a complete sentence. It is it's a complete sentence. And it's being able to say, thank you so much for that opportunity. That sounds really exciting. at this present time right now, it's not fully aligned with my mission and or my vision, I appreciate that opportunity. But I just I need to take a raincheck for lack of a better terminology, no, but I wish you the best with what you're doing. Or I've had to kind of set boundaries with individuals who reach out on a regular basis who are maybe asking for support and advice, but then not following the support and advice that I'm offering. And then they continually come back to me.Mark Laurie :
You've got to know to me, and we have a coach that does that need for our business coaches. And he was his biggest problem as a coach is people call him up, they'll say I want to need some advice. He's okay, well, here's three things you should do. And if you do those kind of for about a week goes by and the guy comes back I call and another question. He says, Well, for answer that question. Did you do the three things, not just getting to them? But I got these other questions. Tell you what, when you've done those three things, come back to me, and we'll talk some moreKim LaMontagne :
about me right there.Mark Laurie :
Yeah. And that's, that becomes a phrase because a lot people he's found, and I've discovered that an awful lot. And sometimes I'm done far more than I want to them that faulted as well, where you, you fail, you get advice, and you fail to act on it. And yeah, and that's and then becomes a habit. So it's a very careful thing to take advice that you sit back, you know, consider it and then go Yeah, I believe this advice is good, I've got to act on it, and then move forward rather than trying to keep on getting more ideas.Kim LaMontagne :
Exactly. And that's so important. It's important for the individual who's looking for the advice. And it's important for the individual who's giving the advice. And that's again, where those boundaries come into play. And being able to be strong enough by by saying, hold on a second. Did you do those, those three things that I asked you to do? Or you haven't? Well, you know what, like you said, focus on that first, and then we can have that next discussion. Because you can lead proverbial saying you can leave the person to water but you can't make them drink. And if you have to hold their hand to allow them to drink, you are then diverting your attention away from the individuals who are taking the advice, acting on the advice, it doesn't make that in other individual, less important. Yeah, but you are now modeling what good boundaries look like you are now modeling what good behavior looks like. And it does not serve them if you keep going back and enabling without putting it back on the individual to say, Have you done those three things?Mark Laurie :
So that's a critical thing. So beside your leap into your, into your mobile home, what is the most spontaneous thing that you've done? Oh, surprise yourself.Kim LaMontagne :
I did it this year after selling my my house. Yeah, coming down here to Florida. I was a director of partnerships for an organization in New York City. And I love the work that I was doing, right. But in February, I felt a very, very strong pole, to leave my corporate job and step into my purpose fully, which is speaking teaching and training at the corporate organizational level about mental health and well being in the workplace. And I left my job, I left my entire salary on the table on April one. And I step fully into during a pandemic, writing a 70 page curriculum on how to teach organizational leaders how to create that workplaceMark Laurie :
organized, I'm looking for something that is more spur the moment that you don't wake up and go three days, I'm got a spontaneous thing that you've done, they just sit back and do that. And then did it quickly. So a really spontaneous moment that you just saw stepped into did and go that turned out well.Kim LaMontagne :
I mean, again, the whole work thing. was huge that was aMark Laurie :
that's a is a massive kind of that's a life change thing. Looking for more oh yeah momentarily spontaneous thing.Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, I would say I hopped on the back of a motorcycle when someone said, Hey, I have a, you know, a big goldwing over here you want to go for a ride and then then let me teach you how to ride a scooter, which you know, you go from a motorcycle to a scooter. But that meant that I actually had to operate the scooter on the open road. And I learned it and I loved it. And now I'm actually going on another motorcycle ride tonight. SoMark Laurie :
These are interesting we were down in in Spain, and I saw these these guys come out of the building and they look like like bikers, tough leather jackets, the whole bitmap. I'm looking for the Harley's because these are badass guys right and parked on the curb outside the bar was three yellow vests. Love it, these guys look around looking really neat. And also the slide in there any of you just can't sign into investment be cool like there's a whole little thing. Elbows are in and they they all ward off to their leader and this little girl to red vest but with those cute funny desk, she passed them and they glared at her. I'm trying my fingers Don't laugh don't kill you if you laugh like they do carry. Yeah, okay was just as hard to hide like badass when you're on this, but they're just it's just especially yellow with like, just can't look. That'sKim LaMontagne :
great. I love that. That's great.Mark Laurie :
That was it was just a wild wild thing. Yeah. Wouldn't be your perfect day. We wake up one day and go she checks the other day. This was a perfect day, what would be the kind of things that happened that day.Kim LaMontagne :
A perfect day would be a leisurely cup of coffee in the morning. A perfect day would be although I love the work that I'm doing a perfect day for me right now would be no technology, no Facebook, no email, no phone, no nothing. And I think a lot of folks can attest to that because we are flooded with technology right now. It would be spending time with my family would be driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in California with my family, showing them how beautiful the Pacific Coast of the United States is. It would be stopping on the side of the road and just running into the ocean. I don't swim in the ocean, but I walk into it. And just saying that I just put my toes in the water and finding a little coffee shop along the way. Finding a little pastry and just simply looking up into the sky, looking at the trees looking around at everything and everyone that surrounds me and seeing the beauty in every single thing. And then of course I'm a sunset junkie. I thought perfect day would be a sunset at the end of the day. That would be a perfect day.Mark Laurie :
The sunsets in the ocean they rip from Calgary our sunsets can last like an hour or two. Yeah, I have totally settled down right. And then I was on a cruise and the Windjammer cruise and the the Pacific I guess it was Atlantic anyways one of the oceans on the side and the sun looked incredible and we're about to go for something that well it got mighty it'll go off will wrap the sun right and the guy says we should make this another good thinking I got an hour Yeah, six minutes. I sat down and also got dark I go dark all of a sudden someone close it or no the sun's down. It's like five minutes ago it was like this fire above the horizon how it's gotten. So I've got a friend of mine she she goes for a walk every night. She's working on her balance. And I get photosensitive photographs from her. She walks through a nature reserve. Every evening I get this, this ocean sunset photograph that this does or the funny thing is for her she loves taking the photographs. The her big joy comes in sharing them.Kim LaMontagne :
Yes.Mark Laurie :
becomes her routine.Kim LaMontagne :
Yeah, me too. And I share them every night on Facebook when I when I go down to the sunset and just like what you would experience in Calgary. It's the same thing here in Sarasota, Florida on the Gulf Coast and the sun goes down. That's when the real show starts. The skies turn bright yellow, then they go pink, then they go bright pink, then they go purple. And then they go back to yellow again. And I'm going to my daughter suggested that I do a time lapse. Because many times when I post on Facebook, people think that I've doctored up these photos I haven't I've literally taken the photo on my iPhone, done nothing to it. It's the way the sky changes every second for the next hour after it goes down. It's beautiful.Mark Laurie :
There's a I've seen as a fellow made this a project and it's really cool you have to have at a time. He sets his camera up and it takes him a whole day so he sets it up just as the sun's coming up like say around four in the morning so starts off dark. He has a large cityscape you Usually are seen. And then you takes a photograph every hour. Mm hmm. Up until the sun actually disappears. And then what he does is he takes each hour, he has a 30 have a 48 inch photograph. And there's like a two inch image of each hour. So the for the whole photograph is composed of these slices of the day. And so as your eyes go across the photograph, one inch of it changes every hour of the light. And so the one size starts off as a sunrise. And then you know, the middle of one is a full noon hour thing and then the other side so you see the entire atmospheric range of a city that from the lights to the height, it's just incredible. It's really any any plan and it's he's got a spectacular, but you're gonna lose a day like there's a theory of lose about 20 hours of your life every hour hitting this button.Kim LaMontagne :
But it may be worth it in the end. Yeah.Mark Laurie :
Well, well, well worth it. Yeah, but the time lapse are kind of a fun thing to play with. There's some pretty neat adapters out there there. And ethers AI is coming in a big way to photography. It's starting to analyze things. So it's sort of pretty kind of cool. Right? Do you have an inspirational quote that guides you? You change them?Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, my goodness, an inspirational quote is I would probably say, I don't know if it's inspirational, but it's just it's the truth that hope anchors my soul. I always have to have hope. Yeah, it's a shred of hope. I mean, back in the day when I was actively drinking depressed, suicidal, I had no hope. Right. And now to me, even just a sliver of Hope is worth it. I have so much hope. And I can give hope to anyone who comes in contact with me. But not everyone has hope. And it does anchor my soul. It allows me to be grounded. And it allows me to tap into myself fully so that I can then get back 100% of me so hope anchors My soul is my quoteMark Laurie :
is great. I was watching movie last night. It's an old one Sandra Bullock's hope floats. As we watch I've seen a couple times I just love watch the dynamics of it. But towards the end of it, I finally realized what the title is about her and her whole thing was, be patient. Hope will always float to the top. If you're patient.Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, I never knewMark Laurie :
that. And it was in the movie like she likes it's towards the end. She's talked to her daughter. He said her grandmother's your mother's died that little girl's grandmother. And she says just be patient hope will always float to the top.Kim LaMontagne :
Well, do you know what the name of my coach's hope on wheels? wheels. IMark Laurie :
love it. I love it. That's that is perfect. Because the sliver is interesting. There's another I love quotes. I there's so insightful. And it said there's it's the crack where the light comes in.Kim LaMontagne :
Rumi says that Yeah, where it comes from. Yeah, I believe it's Yeah, that's where that's where everything happens. Yep.Mark Laurie :
And he's to see if he got out and fracture crack at it, all you need is to let light in is just a sliver. And then once it comes in, it just it stays there with you. YouKim LaMontagne :
know, and I think that's true. But many times and especially now because of COVID we can get so mired down in all of the crap in our lives and forget that there is hope. And if if my messages and what I share can give someone just that little sliver that they can just grab on to and know that they're not going to drowned. And that things are happening for them and not to them. Hope is a very, very powerful tool as well out of friend he spent a lot of time working with he's an amazing psychologist, many things and he was doingMark Laurie :
studies on kids because he discovered there be a song that would be there ray of hope. And they'd be playing outside of a window I can store and they would just lean against this window for like four hours absorbing this song that would eventually give them enough power to kind of move forward. And so when we have things like that's the I think so the server comes from as you'll need. Like if you see your your your coach going by and there's a sign on the side of it. Like that can make a difference. I don't think people realize how much the small things in the cracks of the world kind of change a person's life perspective.Kim LaMontagne :
So are you saying I need to get a magnetic sign for the back of my bus that says hope floats are hoping we'll we're hoping Chris might always have hopeMark Laurie :
you've got a mobile site like your like you've got a coach and you can have changed, changing messages.Kim LaMontagne :
I mean, it's 40 it's 40 feet long. I've got plenty of roomMark Laurie :
you could do so much with it and it would be it makes an interesting statement. Those kind of come we've had campground this one. I've seen guys that have got outrageous stickers or things of that thing and people stop like What's the story behind that like what's why is that out there. And do you may find that we could be one more plank to your to the starting conversations?Kim LaMontagne :
That's a great idea. Thank you. I'll have to I'll have to act on that.Mark Laurie :
They're they're kind of wild that one of the ones I get a kick out this is kind of back in the code thing is you'll come across these service stations that will put clever sayings up. They'll usually have a theme for several months. Yes. And they really twist your brain read for the first time. Then they go, Oh, wait a minute. That's not theirs. We saw one side was kind of clever yesterday, and that goes to the special today is we'll charge you double, but we'll give you a free hamburger. So we'll charge you for two hamburgers, but we'll give the second one to you for free.Kim LaMontagne :
There you go. Okay.Mark Laurie :
He says, we got the I'll take the special. I want money. We'll take the special gun, but people aren't reading much. I have a like the ability to talk talking to a friend. He's the restaurant business. And he has a challenge is trying to hire waitstaff and so he hires the waitstaff. Now they're training them? And he says, okay, there's some people they're going and takes rotary. So can I use an app? No, no, we're in the restaurant, you have to go over there. And say, here's this, here's a specialty, what would you like to have? Must have an app for that? Okay, send an email. I can't, I can't do this. He's going like this is the biggest problem is trying to and the math thing. He has another app that that they don't, there's no prices, what do you want to eat based on one cookie, what does that they have no idea what they're spending. There's no conversation, and the whole and they discovered that they would if there's prices, it slows the purchase of things down from a from a salesperson point of view. They take the price out, and people just kind of bargain with it. But the ability, and this is one of the concerns, concerns with COVID is seeing angles, we do a lot of this kind of stuff, but the personal contact starts to slip away. And I think that's should people need to be, I believe, active in trying to have real conversations.Kim LaMontagne :
I absolutely agree. And in a way COVID has isolated us, but in a way it's brought us together at the same time.Mark Laurie :
Yeah, it's a it's a funny creature. cuz sometimes when you have existence a worldwide thing, it's not just like, oh, look what's happening to that country way over there. It's like, Okay, this is happening. Like we're with me and I and we have people coming into our BNI meeting from all over the world, like they're at four o'clock 4am in the morning, so they can catch our meeting. It's just, it's really kind of wild. It's we should do this one time, I'll send you some information.Kim LaMontagne :
I'm about toMark Laurie :
have a blast. But so is a good side to it. But the set the distance separating thing, and the number of conspiracy theories is amazing, that are cropping up.Kim LaMontagne :
I guess I've been seeing them and I try not, I don't really, you know, I think everything happens the way it should and how it showed I cannot focus. It's it's out of my control. And that's another major thing. And major tool that I found along the way is that I can't worry, I cannot worry about things that are out of my control. And I just have to, I'm a big person who just says I'm just going to give it up to the universe. And what's supposed to happen will happen. This coach came into my life because I told my hairdresser, if you know of anyone who's selling their motorhome, I'm in I'm in the market for one and on my birthday last year, she said my uncle jack is selling his 2011 44 diesel pusher motorhome got 8000 miles on it. And he designed it like, it's top of the line design. It's beautiful. I put it out there. I said, This is what I want. And I didn't worry about it. I knew that the right thing was going to happen. Now granted, I was only going to do like a 24 to 32 footer and I end up with this gigantic thing. But the reason why the side Yeah, the reason why I knew it was mine. Right? If you can see Do you see this dragon fly? Yeah,Mark Laurie :
sure. dragon fly.Kim LaMontagne :
I have a dragon fly here, which I got in the sacred valley of Peru.Mark Laurie :
Okay,Kim LaMontagne :
this dragon fly and all accompanying artwork in this bus? Yeah. Was he? It's permanent. Really. As soon as I took two steps up on this bus, I had two thoughts. Number one, how in the world am I going to drive this thing? Number two, she's mine. Because this is an every single training video that I do every discussion that I have. And it's it's it's part of me and I knew that I needed it. I needed to figure out a way to do it. I didn't worry about it. I just kept making the next best decision. And it happened.Mark Laurie :
I was I love the dragonflies. They're there. I'm here as a kid growing up and like dancing the water like did the only thing I could see the kids you know, I didn't understand me and water tension. Those kind of things was young was like, it's just lands it doesn't doesn't sink. They're just like these maps. I see photographers I have no idea how they're photographed. Because wherever I go with is butterflies and I can photograph some butterflies but these dragonflies like helicopters are, I just can't imagine A photographer got one second shot like it just it totally astounds me then they're so there's they are magic I can see how come they're attracted while you're tracking with them nearly got with my with my company have the sprite the woman with the with the wings we've always had a spiteful woman involved in our things with the last place in Canadian pepper sometime with this little sprite and that becomes a symbol of who we are we actually give her a personality and that kind of thing. Great. So it is really a it's really kind of a wild wild process for him. I every time I think of you driving that i i always retire people drive these great big monsters. You see some guy sitting on cushions with his gray hair and he's got an eye just like I'm terrified that I was drying get ahead of them are behind because they terrify me. Look, I see what's it like to buy something that big?Kim LaMontagne :
Well, I'll tell you I am equipped with an air horn on this. And if you cut me off, I have no problems using it. I have a whole new respect for 18 wheel wheelers for people who drive them because I literally between the coach and then the trailer with my car on the back of it. I've got about 60 to 62 feet of home behind me. Yeah. It's It's scary to get behind the wheel. But you know, and like the day that I stepped on this coach, I was with my sister. And I'm like, and I kept asking her, could you drive this? And she said, sure I could in a straight line. Right? But I'm like, but what about going left and right and parking and turns? Yes. But the thing is, is it's more challenge. I don't know if it's more challenging, but it's different than an 18 Wheeler who has the front. And then you have the trailer that just kind of pivots behind you. Right? I've got I've got a straight shot 40 foot Billboard. Yeah, that I have to just take very wide turns. I keep distance away from the cars behind me. I have learned that when I pull off and rest areas that I go into the big truckers diesel section. Yeah, I do not try to navigate through the regular gas station pumps, because I had a little accident with that. And you know, I've just learned a lot of things. And it's just you know, when I first bought this, it was like my, my dashboard was like NASA Control Center. I'm like, What do I do with all these buttons. And now I can look at each one of them and say I know exactly what each one of them does. And to me that's empowering. And to me. Every time I get behind the wheel after being stationary for a few months. I'm going to be nervous. Yeah, I mean, let's face it. It's nerve wracking. But I can do it. And as long as I don't let my fear get in the way I'm fine. Yeah. And I have my air horn.Mark Laurie :
I love it. I'm exude a lot of people don't realize I see this happen all the time that it takes big vehicles longer to stop.Kim LaMontagne :
Yeah.Mark Laurie :
Pop in front of you in front of the lights and kind of go, you're gonna get squashed buddy. Because that vehicle cannot stop on a dime, like there's a momentum working for you or against you.Kim LaMontagne :
There is it's like driving a big couch down the highway that just has limited. I mean, she's a turbo. So she goes quite fast. But I don't go fast in her but it you know, I can stop on a dime, but not nearly as quickly as the other guy can.Mark Laurie :
What kind of things you're curious about right now? What's got your curiosity meter going?Kim LaMontagne :
Oh, my goodness. Wow, that's a broad question. Um, I am curious what life is going to look like after COVID settles down. I'm curious to know how the human spirit is going to adapt and change once. I think COVID become a norm now. And the human spirit has changed. But I'm curious to know if the beauty and the kindness and the gratitude and the spreading of you know, helping kindness is going to remain in our society or if it's going to go by the wayside. And my hope is that this major pause that we've all been forced to take is going to allow us to continue to really focus on the beauty of the human spirit and be kind.Mark Laurie :
It's remember, there's a book Isaac Asimov wrote one of his foundation series, and they intentionally suppressed the planet of people going into outer space at the time, so that when they released it, they would have been dead they would have created such an urge to leave the planet like like to go and explore because they've been kept down for so long. And that's that's a thing that we may see is that they it will acquire a new habit. But we will acquire a desire because we couldn't maybe come in contact someone is a huge desire to for people to have more contact. Yeah.Kim LaMontagne :
And and my hope is that connections between the two vigils that maybe weren't so strong will get stronger connection between individuals that maybe were severed, or now being mended. I know that there's a lot of bad stuff going on right now in the world too. But I have no control over that. None of us we really don't. So I cannot focus on it.Mark Laurie :
Like we came across, and he wrote a book, actually, because he was disturbed by the fact that the news, of course, focused on all the bad things. And your feeling was that compared to 1020 years ago, is the worst place. Yeah. And so he went through different metrics and said, No, actually, we're in a much better place, there's fewer ongoing wars, there's less of this and more of that, any actual time he got done, he goes, you're living in really, really enriched times, it's life is better in so many different ways than it was 10 2040 years ago. And there's a, I just love those a whole bunch of things crop up, there's an Instagram thing that also is good news, he finds the most obscure good news of things, there's an explosion of a, of a turtle population. Just different things, if it just pops up, it'll something will happen in Paris, there'll be some kind of new thing made up over there. And it's just, it's really, it's really a neat thing to sort of see. Love it.Kim LaMontagne :
Yeah, it is. And, you know, I don't know if this is still on topic, or kind of goes on something that we spoke about earlier. But I just practice gratefulness on a regular basis. And an example, like, if I feel like, Oh, my list of things to do is so long today. And I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this, or I have to take the trash out. And I had this conversation with my neighbor last night, he looked down and he says, Well, we have a lot of trash, I said, You know what, I'm grateful for all that trash, I am grateful that I have the resources, you have the resources to purchase all of those things that are in the trash, and then be able to, you know, whatever, purchased food, purchase items, and be able to take that trash bin to the end of my driveway tomorrow morning. Because there's some people who can't don't have the money to do on board into create trash. There's some individuals who are don't have a huge list of things to do, or clients to get back to or projects to do because they're swirling around trying to find their purpose. So I try to really look at what I can grateful for when I'm stressed versus saying, Oh, I have to take out the trash, oh, I have to get back to this client. It's all I'm grateful that I have those opportunities. However, being grateful is a study I just came across recently. And they're talking if you sit back and consciously go, and he's not saying out loud, so better, it changes chemicals in your body. When you say I'm grateful and you go into why this person. And that's not to be just people like there's things events and talents and skills and so on. Apparently, if you do that every day, and you mentioned at least three people, I've been trying to have him do it for five minutes now.Mark Laurie :
And it becomes a cool habit to start, you start to realize the people who are constantly you're grateful for and the things that kind of come into your sphere.Kim LaMontagne :
I had to do a pile of dishes this morning, because I was too tired to do them last night. And I thought I don't want to do the dishes. But I said I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I was able to make a meal last night and have dirty dishes not grateful that I didn't do them last night, but the grateful that I get to doMark Laurie :
with them. Well, this is a great way to wrap up we've been talking about but I am grateful that you're able to take the time out to chat with me and and share your insights and experiences with my with my fan base, which is kind of cool. It's been a pleasure having you on the show. It's been neat. I hope you've enjoyed it as well.Kim LaMontagne :
Absolutely. And I appreciate the opportunity to just have the honest conversation. And I hope that many pieces of this conversation will resonate with your audience because I think we really tapped into a lot of really great topicsMark Laurie :
we did. It's been amazing. And thank you now for those listening in the information portion will have all sorts of information if you want to reach out and get a hold of Kim. She is an astounding coach. And as she's mentioned a few times her purpose is to reach out and pull people up and also find people to help racer. So it's a it's a quest that she's on. And she's got talents and one of these people who walk the talk sometimes they come across coaches, and they're interesting because they're their book coaches, they read stuff, they've got all the pieces together. But they've never walked the talk. They've never done a leap. And of course change in there. They'll build a story who's my backstory, you know, yes, kind of blown up somehow. It's like it's an inflatable ball. And your backstory is real and powerful so people can connect out there's all sorts of resources there.Kim LaMontagne :
They can In addition, I mean, I don't do the personal coaching but I do more of corporate training with organizational leaders. How do I teach them how to create and sustain mentally healthy workplace cultures using my own experience of suffering islands But because I'm so visible on so many social media platforms, I have turned into an individual who people reach out to for some coaching as well. But my primary role is really in that corporate setting the teaching or training, but I'm finding and this is all happening for me, right people came to me for coaching as well. So it's my role is morphing. I am fully into my purpose and I welcome every opportunity that comes my way to serve either at the corporate level or on the personal level.Mark Laurie :
That is so so wild. People the biggest message is is be open what comes towards you angry wrapped up thank you so much. I do soon.Exit speaker :
This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie. Join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women.ca fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Leah of us and my office media.