Fascinating Women

Tracy Blehm - Business Coach, Architect, Clinic Owner, Mother & driving force

April 27, 2021 Tracy Blehm Season 2 Episode 7
Fascinating Women
Tracy Blehm - Business Coach, Architect, Clinic Owner, Mother & driving force
Chapters
Fascinating Women
Tracy Blehm - Business Coach, Architect, Clinic Owner, Mother & driving force
Apr 27, 2021 Season 2 Episode 7
Tracy Blehm

Tracy Blehm is a focused ray of sunshine that guides people. From leaving school and her addictive-based family finally successfully, living on her own, to putting herself through university without anyone's help; vowing to be the opposite of her family she has done remarkable things.

With a stellar architect career, she changed direction to open a clinic, with no experience on a path full of terrors that she overcame. Finally landing where her true talent comes into play, a business coach. Helping entrepreneurs carve out a successful business.  She has a fresh openness, she is direct, does not tolerate fools, yet will help to no end a person willing to grow.   
I think you will enjoy getting to know Tracy. How she overcame obstacles. 

Tracy Blehm is one of Calgary's Top Spiritual Entrepreneurs. As a Women’s Entrepreneur Coach, her creative and strategic approach has this powerhouse working with clients in a unique and highly effective way. She is also the owner of Tracy Blehm Coaching, a company she founded in 2009 that is dedicated to educating and investing in client's mental health to create healthy, thriving businesses that make an impact while creating the time freedom and wealth they desire and deserve – guilt-free!
Reach out to her. She has some amazing programs that will grow you.

info@tracyblehm.com
www.tracyblehm.com

About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography. His photo studio is inner Spirit Photography. 
http://innerspiritphotography.com

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production

Show Notes Transcript

Tracy Blehm is a focused ray of sunshine that guides people. From leaving school and her addictive-based family finally successfully, living on her own, to putting herself through university without anyone's help; vowing to be the opposite of her family she has done remarkable things.

With a stellar architect career, she changed direction to open a clinic, with no experience on a path full of terrors that she overcame. Finally landing where her true talent comes into play, a business coach. Helping entrepreneurs carve out a successful business.  She has a fresh openness, she is direct, does not tolerate fools, yet will help to no end a person willing to grow.   
I think you will enjoy getting to know Tracy. How she overcame obstacles. 

Tracy Blehm is one of Calgary's Top Spiritual Entrepreneurs. As a Women’s Entrepreneur Coach, her creative and strategic approach has this powerhouse working with clients in a unique and highly effective way. She is also the owner of Tracy Blehm Coaching, a company she founded in 2009 that is dedicated to educating and investing in client's mental health to create healthy, thriving businesses that make an impact while creating the time freedom and wealth they desire and deserve – guilt-free!
Reach out to her. She has some amazing programs that will grow you.

info@tracyblehm.com
www.tracyblehm.com

About Mark Laurie - Host.
Mark has been transforming how women see themselves, enlarging their sense of sexy, expanding their confidence in an exciting adventure that is transformational photography. His photo studio is inner Spirit Photography. 
http://innerspiritphotography.com

Sound Production by:
Lee Ellis  - myofficemedia@gmail.com
Reach out to Lee for your Sound Production

introduction:

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie.

Mark Laurie:

Hello, everyone, and welcome to fascinating women. I'm Mark Laurie, your host and this episode is sponsored by inner spirit photography on Normally I'm the photographer for that. Photographing woman in ways to empower them create an adventure, or they can give a gift. But today we are talking to Tracy Blehm might, so did I get your last name right? You are. Oh, good. So, Tracy is actually, I'm working with her on a different project. And she is a woman of startling clarity and abruptness in a very pleasant, polite fashion. Her phrase with me all the time is, this comes from me with love. And then of course, it's a very brutal comeuppance to my growth. It's a anyways, her her approach to the world is is truly intriguing and highly effective. And she's bounced through a bunch of different jobs, and I thought she's a combination meet and maybe even do a bit of molding in terms of her aspiration. So, Tracy, welcome to our show.

Tracy Blehm:

Thank you so much, Mark. And, you know, I love how you say that. I see it when people when I say to people, you know, I'm saying this with love is really because I love and care enough about where you're going to not lie.

Mark Laurie:

Definitely don't actually you're not nearly as insured, sugar coated as you'd like to come across. So your art from what I've seen, you've gone from medical stuff, or architectural stuff to now you're doing coaching and guiding mostly women, but some of us skies on things as well. And you've you're functioning very powerfully in what is often a man's world in that vernacular. Going back to when you're just forming your personality, what kind of stuff shapes you to become the person you are today?

Tracy Blehm:

Well, to be perfectly honest, um, what shaped me was I grew up in a very abusive home, there was a lot of physical abuse, verbal abuse from all ends, and, you know, some attempted physical abuse, sexual abuse from a an uncle. So what ended up happening was I left home at the age of 15. And what it was really about, if I stay here, I die, right? If I leave, I can create whatever life I choose. And the life I chose was the exact opposite of my family. Right? So whatever they were doing, right, so they weren't finishing school, so I put myself through high school made, and I didn't just do it with I finished high school. It was a lot of proving energy. So it was I finished high school, top of my class, and I worked two jobs. And like I never went on welfare. I never had grants, I completely supported myself. And then I put myself through university to become go into architecture, and made sure I had high marks there. So it it was from an energy of rubbing their noses in it, because when I left home, I it took me three times to run away from home and get away because the police kept picking me up bringing me How old?

Mark Laurie:

How old were you when you started right away? And how old were you when you got successful?

Tracy Blehm:

The first time I ran away was 14, okay? Like, here's the nerd in me. I remember finishing my grade nine exams and crawling into the trunk of the car of my friend's older sister and her driving to me to the city. Like I had to finish my exams fail. And so at that point, I had worked underground as a live in nanny, and then I phoned social services before you know, September started said, here's the deal. I need to get back into school. I just found out if I register, you guys can find me again. If you take me home, you'll be responsible for ruining my life because I will continue to run away and skip out on school and they were like, oh, okay, well, we don't want that. So yeah, they came and got me Pick me up. I ended up in a foster home, which was abusive. Bizarre so the foster home was abusive. And so what I did is I got a job at McDonald's, and I worked part time so I didn't have to be in the abusive foster home and then the day on my 16th birthday. I walked down to the Greyhound depot bought myself a bus ticket move myself solo with literally a backpack that closed down to Calgary.

Mark Laurie:

I Where'd you come from?

Tracy Blehm:

I was oriinally,. I originally grew up in Provost Alberta, so very small town and then we moved to tofield. So I went from tofield to Edmonton to Red Deer to Calgary so

Mark Laurie:

so how would you describe your personality back then? Because you're taking steps that that most kids who are in a bad situation don't see that as an avenue to go?

Tracy Blehm:

Very true. Um, for me a lot of the verbal abuse, like my mom's side of the family is large, there's a lot of people there. And they grew up very poor and very cruel. Like we were those people in town. Right. So I never wanted to tell people who my family was because they would treat me different. That's right, they would bully me. And for me, the energy was more of, I'll prove you wrong, you won't, you weren't going to crush my spirit. I will not stop here. And so I think that's what's enabled me to just go through all of it. Like if someone says, No, it's not hold my beer. It's like, Challenge accepted. And so I don't just as people who know me really well, no, I don't do it little. When I open my clinic, I'm like, I'm not going to open a few rooms, I opened a 15 room clinic and 3000 square feet with no experience at all right? When I shut the clinic, I shut it down in nine days started business coaching full time, like, so I've always had those abrupt changes and have been okay with it. Because the change always meant greater versus wallowing in the pain.

Mark Laurie:

So how, I mean, there's a, there's a decisive moment when you're when you're a kid that really kind of go, Okay, so there's something inside you that says, don't back down, be my own person, be brave and bold and scotrail. Okay, you don't do those steps unless you believe in your heart, it's gonna be okay, that there's something, there's something better over there. True. Were you born is that you think are somehow that you nurtured it? Like, where did that that vision come from that mindset?

Tracy Blehm:

Great question. And I've done a lot of therapy work like this is not without working. And as you know, I'm a mindset. That's right. Um, it was really about, you know, I knew I was strong, because I could survive a beating and go to school the next day, like, it was nothing. Right? I could come home and be completely ridiculed. And get up on stage and sing in front of the church, like, so it was, it was Yes, in the beginning kind of a mask, like don't show your pain, because, again, there was enough humiliation going on with the family name as it was that, you know, and when I'd say to my family members, you know, these people think this about us, and then you go and do that, again, like, You're, you're stealing or you're drunk, or you're this or that. And they're like, Who cares what people think. And I thought, okay, but you don't care. So you can keep being a deviant. I want to not care so I can create something greater.

Mark Laurie:

So, this would be a bit of a twisty thing. But if you were to give advice to, wouldn't be apparently because of the problem. But say, a friend who's got a friend who's going through that, that they see, they're, they're kind of, I mean, that really that process is to break you like, that's when someone's putting out through them. what they're trying to do is like, we're gonna break this kid, it may be our own flesh and blood, but we're done, they're gonna be down. What would you tell that friend to tell her friend or guide her to? To find that Pete that cord that you did,

Tracy Blehm:

I would say you know what, like we choose. And this is based on my training and belief systems. It doesn't need to be anyone else. We choose the family we incarnate into to let us pick up from where we left off in our evolution. So in my mind, it's put before me because I can choose either light or dark just to make it easy. And why would I choose a lifetime of dark? Why would I allow someone else to have that control over me? When I can go over here and create all of this and I can break the change? By being accountable to me? No one was there working those hours at Zellers. I know I just dated myself, right? No, I didn't have the school dances. I didn't have all the dating. I didn't have all the parties and what have you. But what I did have was my own safety. I was in control of my time, nobody could hurt me. Nobody could tell me No. So it was all about me. And I remember when I graduated none of the teachers except for the principal. And the vice principal knew that I was supporting myself solely and so when all of a sudden all these teachers found out at grad like they were like you're so brave. You're so this You're so that and I was like why are you saying that? This is just what I'm doing. For me. It's not for anybody else out there to think it's great or this or that? It was just I'm not living that life. I'm not recreating those patterns. Because the family so large, I could see like there's 13 of them. Right. I could see the the one that was blood How they would mistreat their loved ones in their kids. Like it wasn't just they all did it that's and because there's so many of them they never had to have outside friends they don't cover for each other very twisted. And so for me I'm like they are choosing not i'm not and so I would keep it very quiet. So I'd say my biggest business or career challenge actually has been letting people know my vulnerability because in the past it meant getting reported back to social services. Right? So it was keep quiet go create something amazing for myself.

Mark Laurie:

Thanks planes I can see Oh, can you sit back looking barriers and thinking well, that's something I can get around.

Tracy Blehm:

Yeah, right. So when people talk about don't tell people what you're going to do show them I'm like yeah, I've lived and breathed that since I was 15. So when people show up and they're like, this is going on and this is going on and I don't think I can do it I'm like, I know you can because if I can do all of this with zero support, I know that you can plus I'm going to give you the mindset pieces of where I'm at now. I can allow people in to help me or I can ask for help or I can you know be a little bit more vocal.

Mark Laurie:

So you've gone from the you've graduated and then you went directly from from there Did you work while you head out into into it Next slide.

Tracy Blehm:

So again hyper nerd you know proving energy is so beautiful in certain instances and then it can crater you But back then I had early acceptance to USC because of my marks. So my February I already knew I was in. So um, yeah, I literally pulled up two grand on my motorcycle True Story, went across, got my diploma got back on my bike and outbrain looked for an apartment in a tent because I couldn't afford a hotel so

Mark Laurie:

as you slept in a tent,

Tracy Blehm:

I slept in a tent Yep. In like you know a forested area off the highway because I couldn't afford camping fees, found a place to live got a job I had enough for a damage deposit slept in a sleeping bag the whole first year on the floor, I had no furniture and yeah, so I started University in September so I worked the summer in Calgary and then right into school, you know, it was and it was interesting again, because sometimes their support systems out there that don't support us so because of that time now my parents were making good money the government kept trying to say we can't give you the student loan because they make this much money so then I had to dredge up all the social services documentation everything to prove that I was supporting myself right and I remember the loans counselor going this is just unheard of. And I'm like, I don't care give me money. I want an education. So yeah, it's there are sometimes as for people It feels so hard to find that support but if you remember how resourceful you are and it's a burning desire you will figure out a way never give up just keep asking questions and trying different avenues and and continue continue till you get to where you want to be because it can totally happen

Mark Laurie:

yeah. In my life I I just like there's that's my goal. It's over that stupid Hill and you know, there's gonna be a way around I can you know, if something pulls me up, something pulls around, dig a hole, there's just and then get asking questions now figuring that out

Tracy Blehm:

and asking the awkward questions so that I got over being uncomfortable about asking for stuff or laying stuff on the table very early because I had to Yep. Right. So now it's funny because my husband are like, Can you go ask them like he's not there yet? And I'm like, sure. I can no problem to that. I

Mark Laurie:

know. We've got that with my speaker gig I'm working right now they're approaching speakers that you know people go and ask them and that's all you have to do like half the people I'm asking I've never met they got this vision I haven't well well connected I just have a fear of asking a question like you know, would you would you speak for us would you speak first for a small amount of money for free you know what can we do to make it work and so it's not really knowing exactly who you know but just having the the the comfortability to say well, I'll do don't do that like how bad can be we're not talking people in the wild west with guns or people they're gonna say no, then I can move on.

Tracy Blehm:

Well, NCI hate it when people dance around the know what you know about me right I'm very blunt because if as soon as I get to know then I can move on if you don't give me the know that I have to keep chasing. So whenever it's a no for me, I make it very clear right away to people. That's a no. Right for it. Or if they're pushing I'll be like, that's a hard No. Right? And I just say it that way because move on to the person who you are supposed to be dealing with. It's not me. Right, just like I want to move on,

Mark Laurie:

when I was in real estate, there's a guy and he was so excited about people who would say no, I don't you can't list my house. And always puzzles he says, Well my stats are that out of every 10 phone calls I make the 11th one says yes. So quick right and get to 11 phone call the better off Am I go through these so duty turn this into a positive that that hit? They'd say no, he cameras he says, Well, thank you so much. We mean Thank you. Well, because I'm on my way to 11 a phone call and I have to have 10 notes and you're my eighth No. and now suddenly they're intrigued and he gets them soon it brought his numbers down but that was his whole point was I I got to get so what so you're I got this whole different vintage half the stuff you're talking about. A good movie only has 50% of those things.

Tracy Blehm:

You know, a lot of people are like when you're writing a book I'm like when I have time I'm working on world domination. Get there when I get there.

Mark Laurie:

I've got one of my one of my close friends has got a daughter and she would she went to the front of the class and had tell him three things one has to be fought the class had to guess which one was false wish to attract each other. I'm a dominate the world. I like the color pink. And and I want minions to follow me. And they'd look at this and they'd go Oh, so the domination of the world must be the false thing. No color pink is the color fake? Yeah, that's your practice or evil laugh in the mirror. And she's like nine years old when she practiced her evil laugh and monster. What do you think? It's my take over the world life? You have to have a good picture of the world life. Yeah, well, and

Tracy Blehm:

you know, some of my emails, I'm like, insert evil laugh, right? But it's, you have to dream big, right? It doesn't matter how much you've been kicked down by others. At any point, you can stand up and create what you want. And it's never a straight line. It's a twisty curvy, you know, Bizarro line. And it's, you know, one of the things I looked at, and it's interesting because my we just bought our teenager a vehicle and I had this fancier luxury one picked out for her. And she picked this beat to crap vehicle and she's madly in love with it. It suits her personality. And my husband was all upset. And I go, No, no, no, that's her twisty curvy line, she is buying that for the stories of we broke down or this happened or this happened. And I said, You and I have those. I don't need any more broken down. I need heated seats. I need remote start, I need to be able to adjust my seat because I'm short and all of that. So and I talked to

Mark Laurie:

Jamie she'll cap it again. Now she says I love camping. It was great. Right now wood burning stove in the room. That's good.

Tracy Blehm:

Sorry. We're back country camp. Now. I need a condo.

Mark Laurie:

That process so what did just what you went to university? What did you take? architecture? architecture so so why architecture?

Tracy Blehm:

I it sounds bizarre again, but because my family never looked after themselves or their careers or their, their homes or anything. Everything was always dilapidated. Like, you know, I was always like, is the roof gonna came in, like what's going on here? You know, they drove all these broken down vehicles because boozing, And Bingo was always more important. And I'm not judging anybody here. It's what they were choosing. It wasn't for me. So for me, I always wanted a pretty space, I always wanted beautiful things in regards to my home environment, because I had a very gross home environment. And I always used to walk by large homes, and I go, I wonder what they do for a living. And I wonder what it looks like in there because I couldn't afford anything. So I had to walk to and from work all the time. So I'd always short cut through the richer neighborhoods. So it was architecture. And I didn't. And it went from where I was designing to blueprint junkie to project manager. So the team would put it together, but I got to be on site, running the teams that we're building and problem solving, and, you know, all of that kind of stuff with, you know, all these men that were like old enough to be like my father, my grandfather, and I'm this mouthy little girl, you know, but it was if I picked up a tool belt, they would be so grateful. And they show me how to use the tools and they you know, they respected me and they talked to me and they had my back. Whereas in the actual architecture firm, it was such a caddy, bitchy thing going on. That that's why I left it was the office stuff. And as I advanced my career, it was more office time and I'm like, wow, this is just a richer version of my family. Like they're just as mean and cruel and, and condescending. So yeah, and it affected my health to the point where we couldn't get pregnant. Oh, yeah. So with we paid all the money for i vi like was like $20,000 so we always say I hope our daughter isn't a stripper. You know, as long as she's happy but doesn't get into that then I'll be fine. So what ended up happening was I started doing all kinds of alternative therapies to figure it out. It was all of course, tied back to my childhood and rage and resentment. And then and then, and it was a Bonnie talker. I had two sessions with her and we were pregnant after three years of trying. Wow. Yeah. So then I went to an info night. So I'm like, how did you do that weirdo wiggle my wrist, tap on my head thing. Like, it was just so bizarre to me. I was so scientific, right. And I went numb, like when I realized how much Western medicine and Eastern medicine how it all went together. Like, I could totally do that. So I signed up. And within six months, I had driven all over Canada to get all the trainings. And the head hired me. She's like, I want you to work in my clinic. Right? And I'm like, okay, because people are like, Oh, we gotta write things down. I'm like, it does muscle test. And it's easy, right? They taught us how to muscle test, you can cheat, right? And so yeah, so I worked for her. And then she moved to Toronto, and I went to work for another company. At the time, it was called premise a, and then is now premier health in their fertility department. And she had decided to open up in a house with no permits. So my first day of work, they got shut down. And she shipped me to the main branch, you know, and I walked in there. No offense to them, it was a really more hippy kind of space. Or as I'm used to, like, you know, clean this and slate and granite and glass and blah, blah. And I remember thinking, Oh, my gosh, what have I done, but my guides were like, No, you need to be here. So it showed me that people wearing $5,000 suits were coming to see me because they needed help. So she was on the verge of bankruptcy and had asked me to buy our company. And when I looked at everything, and what it would take to fix the building, about half of you was less money for me to open my own. So I did, I rented 3000 square feet, and two months later had my own clinic and 32 therapists working for me. So yeah, it was, and it just felt good, because I got to help all these couples have babies and change their lives and, and all of that and help coach and mentor these therapists who were struggling with their own money mindset, and their self esteem and self worth and, and all of that. And so it was I used to refer to them as my kids, how we photograph a

Mark Laurie:

lot of moms in my my time into my photography for them. And I found they found a different categories. There's, there's people that just have to be a mom, like they will do whatever, and they'll spend whatever. And then there's some people it happens and they just don't pay much attention to it. And there's some people that they know in advance that this is not for them. Some Gavin, you're one of the ones that really had to have a child, what was the driving purpose for that? Like what i think

Tracy Blehm:

i think it was also a combination of I will not fail. So I believe the universe provides, I believe, if it occurred that way. So it would drive me into a different way to help people. Right, because I was very disheartened with the arc, especially corporate architecture, because, you know, corporate companies are like Pac Man, right? They just kind of eat each other and they would rip out entire floors and throw it in the landfill. They couldn't even be bothered to recycle back then. And to me, I'm like, we're killing the earth to put in a different colored granite. Are you kidding me? So I'm, where my fertility struggle was. What it boiled down to was I didn't believe I could have this powerful career and children. It was like I had to choose. And for me, the career was safety. Like, I wasn't living in under anyone's house, a cadaver decided that I needed to pack up and leave my husband, I'd be okay. Right, like knock on wood. It's been 24 years. It's not happening. But, you know, like, it was always a safety thing that, you know, my money meant I could provide for myself. So to give that up would be hard and to work for someone else. While I had kids and my husband traveled all over us. He was building his career couldn't be done. By being an entrepreneur, it couldn't be done. If my kids home sick, I just phoned my team and say, I'm out today. Or if my babysitter can't make it, I can take the kids to work and the staff can't really say anything about it because I own the joint and pay their paychecks. Right. So it's, I think that'll all happen the way it did because then I was ready to leave the company. I was ready to add this healing modality under my belt that I absolutely loved and still use like I body talked one of my kids this morning, and but still got to create an environment for people to work in, that they loved. And when they went home, they felt great. So they weren't going home and being mean to their families, right like my parents were or if they were having struggles at home, they could come to work and know that there was no struggle there. Right. So it was building that safety for them.

Mark Laurie:

Have a phrase a quote that guides you that you always fall back on?

Tracy Blehm:

No, not really. I think it's just, I've just decided, like, I'll always joke around and go world domination is imminent, right. And I, to me, I always say that always with a little giggle and that I don't believe I'll ever be done. Like, I always think I could be doing something greater, I could be making a greater impact, I could be helping more people. So yeah, like, I really get my buzz when people get what they want, right? When I see people's businesses start to take money, or they nail that job, or they nail that contract, and they're so excited about it, or they bring their pregnancy sticks in a baggie and show me them, you know, the positives, it's, and I'm usually the one that gets to hear it first before they could tell their family and whatever, right? Like, I'm the first phone call. And I love that. So when that's missing from my world, I'm miserable. Right? So and that's part of breaking that chain of destroying people and beating them down, which seemed to be the family motto into, I'll help you you help me like, if I've got that strength of that skill set. Let me share it with you. Like, let's let's do this.

Mark Laurie:

So in your you've got such as a speaker happening now, okay, Do you've got such huge goals and you've achieved most of them? Have you had something where you've stumbled and fallen goal kid that was a real learning experience, which what some of the tragedies or the missteps that you've had the biggest one, one that you had learned the most from? Um,

Tracy Blehm:

the fertility one was huge, right? Because it was so frustrating it and there were times where I remember breaking down and saying to my spouse, I can build multimillion dollar towers, and I can't get pregnant. And the doctors can't find anything wrong with me like this is horseshit. Right? And I would say that, you know, working my first couple years in the clinic, because I didn't know what I was doing. And I was really over giving to the therapists and not looking after myself. And I hired at the time, if they had a heartbeat and a certificate. I hired them. Like I didn't know who I was hiring and I there will be a book at some point says Confessions of a psychic and it will be all clinic stories with mainstage. Do you know how they do that? Because it was just insane. Some of the stuff that came through the doors, and that I would say my first four months in business True story. My husband had to drag me out by my ankle from under the bed because I was under i'd crawled physically under the bed was sobbing that I had Wait, I had spent our entire retirement savings on a clinic. And now I didn't think I could do it. Wow. Yeah, it was I was a mess. Because it was a half million dollars. I took everything we had and leverage the house and everything. And two kids under the age of four. Yeah, yeah, it was it was a mind meld. And it was funny because he's like, if anyone can do this, it's you. He's like, I've seen you pull off stuff that other humans never do. Why would you doubt about this, he's like, if they're unhappy, fire them. And then I went and had I don't drink his bosses like, oh, he must have said to his boss, or, you know, my wife struggling. So he phoned me. And I knew him from architecture. And he's like, come here, have a glass of wine, I'm going to tell you what it is. So I sat down. And he was brutally honest with me. And he said that, that's where I got that from. It's not mine. Tracy, I'm saying this to you with love. And I saw, like, I look like black all the way down my sobbing and snotting and all of that. And he's like, and he just kept talking like, he didn't stop. He didn't offer me a Kleenex. He's like, you need to hear this. And then he bought $30,000 worth of gift certificates off me. Wow. And I then I got in the car and phone call and, and, um, but he could he thought one of the kids was dead because I was sobbing so bad. He couldn't hear what happened. Right? And so as he's running out to his car, he sees me sitting in my car in the parking lot on the door, and I couldn't talk out the words that this man basically saved our business.

Mark Laurie:

That's I come across a lot where there's you, if you look carefully, there's one person that made a difference, who didn't have to make a difference I didn't have to make because we hire coaches and there's family people, but there always seems to be somewhere in the mix our life one person that probably had no idea, the huge change that they allowed to have happened by this one. This, you know, half an hour of time that they spent with somebody that's really astounding.

Tracy Blehm:

That's and for me, which you know what business owners I will always offer the extra because to me that's paying it forward if it weren't for that gentleman, giving me some cold hard facts in that. This is what staff do. Right. And as business owners, this is what we need to do. It's very much a different way of being I you know, even without the $30,000 and gift certificates He saved the business, I would have shut the doors because I didn't, for whatever reason thought I didn't have it in me. So when I'm working with my coaching clients, that's what I think is I want to be that rock for you. Right? I want to be able to, you can lean on me, you can snort, you can cry, you can do whatever. And I'm just gonna stay the course and keep, you know, showing you the way to your dreams. Oh, that

Mark Laurie:

that's, that is so powerful. It's remember what I had, for the first time on our first staff. And it was this young girl, she has just gotten married, and he liked her 20s. And that's his back about 95, I guess. And she was with us for two years. And on Valentine's Day, she said, Well, you know, give us a notice. He's really happy. But she had this thing. And I was devastated because I do wrong. Like I I didn't grasp as you're saying that the employee has a whole different set of goals than you do. As I was like a no sense magnet. I tried to get what I did wrong. And the thing of it was I was the springboard for and so the second person, the same thing. So I met my third person. That's where I got interesting, because now I'm getting kind of protective and cautious. And in France, she's with us now for 24 years. And she says, Look, she says, If you treat me, right, I'm not paying for kids. This isn't a career stop for me. If you turn around, I'll stay here forever. This suddenly, and this is like just this friend is young met her yet, but she's like you she is. And we've allowed her to be as blunt as she wants to be. So when she sits down she doesn't. He's not dancing it same with jamming sometimes. That wears me out a little bit because I'm looking sometimes I'm just looking for somebody to say, oh, let's dance forbid make you feel better. They will tell you what the bad news is. Neither one they just so I seem to have it seems to be surround my life with women who want to beat me up for my betterment seems to be my

Tracy Blehm:

because they care. And that's how I really see it is and I will say to people, if I'm going to them for advice, please brutal honesty. Because if you feel bad for me, then I can't shift like I don't want a neurosurgeon crying because he feels bad about my brain tumor. Don't tell me about the tumors are and what our strategy is.

Mark Laurie:

Yeah, with coaches, and maybe not just coaches in a bigger term like he has a friend can be a coach, and that moment you need them. They don't get quite often, that what you need is not the means often that people have to tell you the truth, that just means I'm getting a doorway secondly mean to you. But they need well crafted honesty, so that they that this is the way it is I'm not going to do in a way that you get beat up, you can't crawl away, but but you've got to face these things. And then you can grow. But so it's it's unvarnished is one approach, but it's, it's designed with the intent of I want you to grow. Yes. And it's designed with the intent of here the tools to also do something about it, that doesn't matter if it's a friend trying to stop somebody from drinking to, to a business person that says if I don't do something in six weeks, this is gonna go under what the hell do I do? Those kinds of things kind of come into it. So

Tracy Blehm:

sometimes what can happen is when we're willing to be fully authentic ourselves, it can come across as aggressive or blunt to other people who aren't willing to be fully authentic. And I learned that a long time ago. And so it's tones, right? So I, you know, I remember the first time I went back for a family outing, and my parents were there, and my mom slid right into her normal. And I said, I'm so sorry, that you've misunderstood and believe that you can talk and trade to me this way. And she got really big in her eyes. And they said, it will have dire consequences for you. And the happy dance for me if you continue down this path. And it was just thought and she just turned and walked away and didn't speak to me for the rest of the event. And everybody was like, what was that and I said, that was me standing my ground with my boundaries. I didn't have to yell. I didn't have to dredge up stuff from my childhood, I didn't have to do any of this. It's just, this is a no for me. And if you push the nose get harder. So push as hard as you want, I will stand my ground just as hard. So, you know, I'm very cautious as to who I take my knowledge from, like if they are creating joy in their world and the wealth level that I desire, or they don't have the tools that I need. I don't listen to them. They don't get any space in my head. And I had a lady this morning that I'm coaching she's so fantastic. She's 65 she's building a construction course she's on construction. So for me right up my alley. I'm like, Oh, yeah, let's do this. And her 30 year old daughter told her it was garbage. And so she's crying on her call with me today. And I said, Hey, has your daughter ever run a multimillion dollar company? No. Has she ever worked in construction herself? No. Has she ever taught horse? No, I go, then why the EFF? Would you take advice from her or allow her to destroy you like this today, she has no head from her. But

Mark Laurie:

it's such a truism across the thing like you, you're a parent, and you got someone who's never had kids telling you what you're doing wrong. Right? Why just into the business choices, I constantly ask you, you go to go to family members for advice. And they're all employees, they've got no vision, you've got to remember the one of the first things I took it, I was in real estate at the time. And it was it was a week long course, this is when courses are just starting to happen. This guy was a great in motivational and tool givers person. And the first two days are rah, rah, rah, you can beat the world, you're gonna be amazing. And we're swallowing the kool aid is just great. On Wednesday, he says, Here's why you're gonna fail. But no, no, go back to Tuesday. And he says, What's going to happen is, you've got people around you that you're going to tell you this great, wonderful thing. And they probably heard it before. And they are going to do it because you're like training fleas. And as soon as you stop from jumping so high, you got control on them. And so he got very plain the stuff that's going to get in your way. And your choice was that if you if you're going to grow, you may have to leave people behind. And those may be friend and family members. And so your choice is do you want to grow and maybe sacrifice that or find new terms for it? Or are you going to sit back down because you don't want to leave them. And he said, I just make a decision today. And if your decision is you want to stay with them. That's fine. Don't come here on Thursday. Love it. And it's

Tracy Blehm:

true, I always look at it to the more success I have, the more I can help the ones that aren't choosing their success. Right, like, so I'm the oldest of four girls, there's three years in between. and the ongoing joke was is that my mom only you know about Randy every three years. And so my youngest sister who is very much like me, wanted to go to take hygiene, dental hygiene. And so my parents used to use money as a control right after I left, it was a control about money. And she needed $10,000. And our loan was behind and so on and so forth. And my mom and dad said that they could do it, they would give it to her. And then my mom choked it back because my daughter didn't do or her daughter didn't do something that she wanted. And she phoned me mad and I'm killing myself laughing which is my normal response when people get so wound up about stuff. And I'm like, well, the bank closes at four, I'll be over at 415. Right? She's like, what are you mean, I'm like, I'll give you 10 grand. When your loan comes in, you give me the 10 grand back. If you don't give me the 10 grand back, I'm gonna hunt you down, take your car. So, like, and I learned that from a good friend of mine, whose family came from nothing, too. And her motto is, is this a problem money can fix? And if it's a Yes, go find the money. Right? So is that working? Like I did two part time jobs to put myself through high school, because it was a problem that money could fix. I could pay my rent and buy food and secondhand clothes, whatever, right? And because I was starving, I fit into everything cheap. Right? And, you know, same with the clinic, I needed money for advertising Well, okay, that I'll just go teach a course right? Or I'll go do this, or I'll go do that. Or I'll open up my schedule, take a few clients or I'll double mine. I doubled my rates. Once I'm like, I'm done, I need more money. So money issues that come up, especially for women are a self worth issue. If you don't have something that you know, you deserve to chase after, you also won't chase after the money you won't chase after the health and you won't chase after the opportunities. For me. I knew my life is worth living. Because I was the oldest of 75 grandkids, right? So when I left home, all of a sudden the ones that were younger than me started going, can I come stay with you? They wanted to leave they're like I can't feed all you know, you have to if you want out, I'll tell you how I got out. You guys can do the exact same blueprint.

Mark Laurie:

I could coach you.

Tracy Blehm:

Exactly. And that's what I did. I'm like you go here, you do this, you do this, you get if you get drunk, you can get a job here. This is how this works, all of that. And a few of them chose not to do it and stayed and got into their own addictions and what have you. And some did leave. All three of my younger sisters left home early, not as early as I did. But 1617 before they graduated high school, they had all moved out.

Mark Laurie:

This has been an amazing conversation, especially because I adore you so much and your your your clarity of thinking. I just appreciate it. It's such a huge level. So this has been this has been really great. Thank you so much, everyone. You'll have information on my lovely Tracy, who does everything with love. Down in the bio Porsche is there so if you want to kind of catch up Third and see what she can offer and see what she's do what she does. There's more of a down there. She is as great as she sounds and she does follow the the black and white line. She is great with it. So thank you for coming. This is Mark Laurie. Hosting fascinating women which has been sponsored by inner spirit photography. Take a check on us with our new website, innerspiritphoto.com

introduction:

This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie, join us on our website and subscribe at fascinating women does ca fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Lila's and my office media