introduction: 0:03

You're listening to fascinating women with Mark Laurie. And now, Mark Laurie,

Mark Laurie: 0:11

hello everyone. This is Mark Laurie here from fascinating women, and today I have got Henriette Van iterson, welcome. Thank you. Good to be here. It's always a blast. And we've got a long history of the stuff. We've done photography with we've done some neat adventures, but you've started way off in Holland.

Henriette V: 0:31

I did I was born and raised, yep.

Mark Laurie: 0:34

And why did you come over here? What was your motivation?

Henriette V: 0:37

Oh, that's a tough question. A bit of adventure, perhaps a love for the English language, for me, for my husband, mostly wanting to explore a different culture. And when a business opportunity presented itself, we went for it, from the idea of, okay, if we don't do it, that will be one of our regrets. So off we went.

Mark Laurie: 1:10

.And how old were you? Then, when you moved over,

Henriette V: 1:12

I was 35 Yeah. So we had two children, two boys. One was eight, the other was two and a half, and it was tough.

Mark Laurie: 1:27

I could imagine. How did you speak the language? Much? Is that something you had to learn as

Henriette V: 1:30

well? Yes, I studied English in school. I went to teach a training college because I wanted to teach English in Holland, right? My husband did a lot of business overseas, so the language wasn't really a barrier for us. It was for our kids, obviously. But, you know, kids are sponges. They do within four or five months, they will they were fluent, or at least the older one, the younger one didn't talk at all until it was like three. Not everyone

Unknown: 2:07

Not Everyone can make the leap from country. I mean, some people are forced to have no option, but this is a volunteer type of thing. What kind of I guess, mental state would you have to do that like you're it's a it's a leap of faith to come over, isn't isn't it?

Henriette V: 2:20

It absolutely is. And in hindsight, we were quite naive. We didn't do a ton of research into where we were going. We knew we were going to go to Gallery, and this was it was 20 it'll be 23 years ago in January. So we had been on vacation twice. My husband had been maybe four times for business. He had set things up with his to be business partner right? And we just figured, ah, Canada, a Western country. They liberated us during the war. What could possibly go wrong, right, right? And then we came here, and everything was different. Everything was harder, even silly things like setting up a bank account or a mortgage or everything because you have no history here, right? Finding a job was a was a nightmare for me. It didn't work at all. I applied for positions that were comparable to the job I left back there, right and they didn't want me. That must have been crushing. It's a lesson in humility, and that's for sure, what kind of

Unknown: 3:55

What kind characteristic got you through that? Because some people would, a lot of people don't make the leap anyway, the ones that do discover this is so hard, I'm going back home where it's easy, yeah, what kind of your personality goes? I'm gonna barrel through this.

Henriette V: 4:08

I don't know. It just happens, right? Like day to day. I didn't really get homesick until probably five or six years in really, but then it hit hard, and when we left, our eight year old really didn't want to go. So we had made him a promise. We said, if after a year you still feel that way, we will seriously consider moving back. And he wanted a doc, so that one that was his negotiation, anyway. So after a year, he had made one really good friend who is still his best friend, Josh, and he didn't want to go back. I. Yeah. So when you have a husband who's setting up a business, a son who doesn't want to go back, and a younger son who doesn't know any better, yeah, am I gonna go back on my own? I don't think so. This is my life. This is my family. So what is that? It's a little bit of discipline, but it's also still feeling somewhere that things will get better. Yeah, you

Mark Laurie: 5:32

have to have a sense of hope. Yes to it. What are your core beliefs? Three core beliefs that drive you.

Henriette V: 5:39

Three core beliefs that drive me. I They've changed through the years, but currently, explore everything, discard what doesn't work or what's bad, and integrate into your life What does that's a big one for me, right? I I believe people at the base are good, and a third, be kind, be kind.

Mark Laurie: 6:20

That's a good now, you said that they've changed. What, what has what has changed?

Henriette V: 6:23

Well, I grew up religiously, so that was a lot of that. Actually, when we moved to Canada, we had sort of began to let go of that, and that sped up once we were here with that, you lose your your core values, your your beliefs, your norms, everything. So you have to build from scratch, and that's exciting, but it's also really hard, and the way to get there is by, like I said, exploring everything and just find out what sort of works I feel we sort of have the opportunity to invent who we wanted to be in this country, which was really great. That

Mark Laurie: 7:15

must be very exciting to be a new page. Yes, how did you decide what to evolve into.

Henriette V: 7:22

I think that just happens over time, partly, but also some choices you make. Obviously, I lost my mom the first year we moved here, which was really tough, but it's also freeing in the sense that okay? I'm where I live currently. I'm not my parents child, right? I'm a new person. I'm an immigrant. I can be whoever I want. So that's when that sort of sank in. I took Reiki, Reiki one, Reiki two, and eventually master and started working on people with that, and that provided me with a ton of insights, which was really good. And it also like with Reiki, you can call them rules, but they're sort of like tenets. Just for today is what everyone starts with. Just for today. Do not anger, just for today. Do not worry, just for today. Be filled with gratitude. Devote yourself to your work and be kind to all people so and I think that is my core. That's how I am trying to that's a good core.

Mark Laurie: 8:47

That's a really powerful core. Yeah, what do you think in your childhood prepared you to make such a big leap?

Henriette V: 8:56

There was a lot of language stuff in our family, in the family I grew up in, so my sister is eight years older than me, we would jokingly always speak English when we did chores, even when I was not even old enough, You know, I hadn't had any any English in school yet when that started music, also lots of music, pop music, mostly that really taught me English. So for me, it's definitely that English component that get that started when, when I was

Mark Laurie: 9:46

now, Canada's got a reputation, a legend, mythology in Holland. So what we did during the war and with, you know, I think we sheltered the king and the queen royalty there for a while. How did Canada's myth a. Hear from there when you got here. How did that line up reality to what the belief of what Canada was like?

Henriette V: 10:06

I don't think that played a major role my my grandfather would have been happy to know we chose to live here. He was traumatized by the war, and he was finding it really hard to find his bearings after was very active in the resistance. They had people sheltered in their house, and it was a profound thing for him, as opposed to my dad, right, who was 16 by the time the war ended, who thought it was one big adventure and loved every minute of it. And so there's, there was always that double perspective, like, yeah, war is really, really hard, but at the same time it can be an opportunity or or an adventure for people. So that's always been really mixed. Canada is, is important, very important in the Dutch culture because of the the World War. I don't know how many brides ended up here, but quite a few, and but, but I don't think for us personally. No, it wasn't,

Mark Laurie: 11:36

it wasn't a difference between what to expect and to the people in the culture? No,

Henriette V: 11:41

I don't think so. No, what I remember most from my history lessons around that time is is deliberation, right? When everybody's happy and relieved and everything is, you know, sunny and bright and hopeful and all that stuff. By the time I moved here, I was old enough to realize, okay, that's not really how life works, right? And I grew up during the Cold War, right, which had a I think, that had a bigger impact on me

Mark Laurie: 12:16

than anything the formative years. Yeah, we didn't. It had little impact on me growing up here like we had. We've never been touched by war, so I think we have a hard time envisioning it. Yeah, I'm sure it's a it's sort of a big chunk that's missing from our culture identity.

Henriette V: 12:34

I think it's understandable. It's

Mark Laurie: 12:37

it's intriguing thing. Who inspires you, inspires me.

Henriette V: 12:44

There's a couple of people, my dad, he passed away in 2012 he was master at forgiving, and that taught me a lot. He used to say, sure you can choose to keep on hating if somebody did something to you, but that will make your own life miserable. Why would you do that? And struck a chord with me, someone else we recently lost a really, really good friend. And he, he was a guru, almost, you will the things. So just a silly example, I would, we would go and visit me and my husband, and we would talk about the kids and all that stuff. And he would, I would be worried about something, so I would bring that up, and he would ask a couple of questions, questions. Sorry. First, does he use drugs? Does he use alcohol? Is he hanging out with the wrong people. No to all these, why are you worried? He's doing great. He's exactly where he should be. You know, things like that that just immediately calm you down, ground you again, and make you able to move on.

Mark Laurie: 14:24

Having someone who can ask the right questions is very powerful.

Henriette V: 14:27

It is. Yeah, I miss him. I miss him so much.

Mark Laurie: 14:33

Insight that's that's really wild. Do you have any modal mottos that get you buy posters sayings that you can hang on to, or mean something

Henriette V: 14:44

apart from the Reiki tenants, no, the core, no. They come and go, yeah, some of them really speak to me for a while. The one that stays with me is, I don't remember the exact wording, but you're you. You are your own first bully.

Mark Laurie: 15:03

And it's true. It is, yeah, we don't. We would never say things that we say to ourselves, for most part, to a friend, or allow a friend, somebody else would say, Talk to a friend that way. We just when, yet, you know, it's like, Oh no, it's okay if it's me to me, Yep,

Henriette V: 15:19

yeah, but it's not No, no, still bullying.

Mark Laurie: 15:23

Where'd you get your pleasure from these days?

Henriette V: 15:25

My pleasure, oh, from lots of things like taking photographs. Apart from that, I am in a program called caring hands and what that entails is I go to people's homes who have recently had twins or triplets, and I help out with the babies. And it's a program that runs for one year birth, until they turn one right, and then I move on to the next family. Through that program, I have met so many special people and lovely babies. I love, love, love babies, and some of these people I'm still in touch with. My very first family was triplets, and they're five years old now, almost six. Can't believe it, but they, yeah, I still see them on a regular basis, and they're sort of like my grandchildren.

Mark Laurie: 16:35

Yeah. What kind of things do you do as a support person? I've never heard of this program. It's really cool.

Henriette V: 16:41

It's, it's very basic. So it's just holding them when they cry, changing that diaper, just general care. The good thing about this program is one of the parents need to be in the house when I'm there, right? So it's not babysitting. It's not like

Mark Laurie: 17:00

more connectors, pair of hands. I guess what I'm out too

Henriette V: 17:03

it can be or, you know, if it's a more quiet day and not too much is going on with the babies, mom can sleep for a few hours because, you know, three babies at the same time. Yeah, you lose some sleep, quite a lot. So, and every time I am so surprised and awed by how these women mostly work with women manage everything and still keep a clean house. Like, how do you do that? How I don't have any kids in my house anymore, and my house isn't clean, so tell me that is so cool. And people from everywhere, all cultures, Algeria, Lebanon, Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Canada,

Mark Laurie: 17:56

everything, the whole range. How did you come across this program?

Henriette V: 18:00

Accidentally? Yeah. I was looking for because when people think about volunteering with babies, everybody's thoughts go to the NICU So, and I'm like, Well, that might be fun, but there's a lot of interest in it. So. And then I saw this program. It's through ahs and and they need it. Volunteers still do desperately, because there's tons of twins out there and some triplets too. So, yeah, never look back. This is it. Yeah, it's fantastic. That

Mark Laurie: 18:40

is the most intriguing thing. So besides that, anything else you collect cars? Not that's not quite that word. I mean, everybody's got more than one car, like, oh, you're a car collection. How'd you get into that? You have a Corvette? Yes,

Henriette V: 18:55

yes. 1958 Corvette, which is my dream car. It's white with a red interior, and it's got my name on the license plate. It was my birthday gift for my 50th right? And that that car is fantastic, but actually the first car we got. Do you want me to tell the full story is an older Ferrari, 328, it's from 1988 and when we first got it, everybody was saying, you've got one now you want another one. And we were, nah, one is enough. You can only drive one at a time anyway, yeah, so then came the Corvette and and then we were thinking, my husband sold his business. There was some money there. Maybe a newer Ferrari would be nice. So we went and looked, and we did not agree on. On which one it was going to be. And luckily for me, the one that my husband had his eye on, he didn't fit in. He's tall, and these are Italian cars made for small people. So and then we saw this magazine, and it had pictures of a brand new Ferrari that was they were coming out with, and we both loved that car. So we went to the dealership and he said, Well, it's going to be three or four years before you have it. You could do is buy something else, and then once this one arrives, sell it or trade it in, and then you can drive in between in a modern Ferrari and switch between the 328, and whatever you're buying. So we thought about that, and we said, Sure, let's do it. So we got a blue the first Ferrari is always red. The second is never red, a blue Portofino. And this summer, we got our last baby, and that's 296 GTB, and it's red again, yeah,

Mark Laurie: 21:10

it's a beautiful car. It is a gorgeous car. Let's watch movie when they they ran away the car. I photographed that

Henriette V: 21:20

car that was so cool. It's a great car.

Mark Laurie: 21:24

So what made you you said it's car your dreams. Why was the Corvette the car of your dreams?

Henriette V: 21:29

I don't know. But when I was 17 or 18, we were just dating my husband and me, we've been together forever. We went to an A car museum, and I saw that car, and I fell in love. There's no other way to describe that's what happened. And I've always been into, you know, the smell of engines and oil and gas and everything my husband was was into tractor pulling as a student, okay? And I grew up on campus, so my parents both worked at the college and and I grew up there, so yeah, I had that smell in our house basically every day. Now,

Mark Laurie: 22:15

can you work in the car, or is it just a drive? You think,

Henriette V: 22:18

yeah, not with a modern Ferrari. I mean, I think of your old Corvette, yeah, the Corvette, yeah, we do all the maintenance. Or when I say we, I just sit in there and wait or smile or grin,

Mark Laurie: 22:34

yeah. Do you take it like an antique car rallies and stuff like that? Or

Henriette V: 22:37

just, no, not car rallies, just we go out on drives. We are members with a Ferrari club, and not rallies again, but drives, and sometimes weekends away, but never, except for the circuit, right? Yeah, I never thought I would what's a circuit? Like, like a race track? Okay, so, yeah, I never thought I would dare to but the first time I got the offer was from the Ferrari dealer and and I could bring my own car. So I decided to just take my Mercedes and see how fast that would go, because for the first time, I wanted something I was comfortable in, right, and not having to worry too much, okay, if I crash, still expensive, not quite as bad. It should sign away your life.

Mark Laurie: 23:41

We are not responsible. Say the say the course. So,

Henriette V: 23:46

so I went and did that, and that was, yeah, that was something else.

Mark Laurie: 23:51

So you go, this fast car can go, you're taking corners. Like, what made it the thrill,

Henriette V: 23:57

just the fact that I dared do it that made the thrill. How fast did you go? You don't have time to look. Seriously, I have no clue, but I will say this in my it's a Mercedes C 43 AMG, so, so it's pretty quick, right? I had three Ferraris behind me, and they could not keep up. So there you go. That is fast, and that made me really

Mark Laurie: 24:33

proud cornering. The whole thing. It's a circular tracker. Yeah,

Henriette V: 24:36

yeah. Lots of corners, hard corners, fast corners, slow corners, straight. The straight wasn't really very long. It's the race track here in what's it called, car stairs. And, yeah, but, but still, tons of fun. And then this summer, we both drove race. Trek twice, once in strawberry, close to Edmonton, and once again here in car stairs.

Mark Laurie: 25:07

Do they have any training with you, like, because you're in higher speed? Do they just start saying, you know, just go and have a good time. And no,

Henriette V: 25:13

that's kind of sad. So that will be our next step. Is to just, you know, have someone sit beside you telling you what to do, don't break it. Don't break it. Yeah,

Mark Laurie: 25:27

that is so wild. Love that is there anything that you're curious about these days? Everything, yeah, everything, everything.

Henriette V: 25:37

I'm always curious about, what makes people tick, what they think, what they feel. I'm curious about what's happening in the world. And then again, I have my friend's voice in my head at the same time, because things are worrying, right? Yeah, right now, so, but he says, You can take everything in don't let it nest inside of you. That's powerful. So with that in my brain and in my heart, I'm okay, I need to know. Be aware of the world, yeah, and having contact with all these different cultures makes you look at things different too. Like, one of my moms is from Lebanon and, yeah, so you hear things from from a different side,

Mark Laurie: 26:29

from connection with other cultures, that changes how you see the world, doesn't

Henriette V: 26:37

it? It does. Yeah, I could recommend everybody to travel and maybe even spend a bit longer in a foreign country. Basically, that's what we did, just never went back. But, yeah, it opens your eyes. It really does become

Mark Laurie: 26:55

everyday people that way, when you sort of see them, they're not newspaper clippings, that they're just they're real people.

Henriette V: 27:01

Well, you know, I find it's so easy to judge other people, but I also find if, because everybody does it, I do it too, but then if you start talking to them, you get to know them a little bit. They're just like me. It changes your

Mark Laurie: 27:19

your ideas, yeah, the perspective I can relate to a small degree. We've got my barbers from Lebanon, he just come back for vacation, and you're aware that somebody you know is gonna go to what we see as a danger zone, and kind of coming back and has family worry about and it becomes a connected conversation, I guess. So with curiosity so rapid. How do you filter where your attention is going to go so you don't become scattered? Or do you become scattered? I do.

Henriette V: 27:46

I have no no real that's a problem. I'm in my head a lot, right? No real filter as to what I find interesting, what not. I read a Dutch newspaper. I read cbc.ca, and I read Al Jazeera now, just to make sure that I sort of get all the perspectives, yeah, and then again, if I if it doesn't feel good to me, or if I think it's bad to

Mark Laurie: 28:20

the side, yeah. I

Henriette V: 28:25

like

Mark Laurie: 28:25

chasing down the good news stuff in Facebook and YouTube and stuff where they'll have little things that happened. Came across one recently where a guy had an open field, he's a photographer, and it was from a field to ecosystem in 100 days, and he walked through it, and it was, that's amazing. Yeah, it was just incredible. Just a, you know, here's what I started documents, it kind of goes. And it was a really, kind of a cool thing to play, like

Henriette V: 28:52

those, those tiny pieces of good news, those are important to keep things in balance for sure.

Mark Laurie: 29:01

How do you view challenges? Do you see a challenge? When someone says, That's challenge? What does that spring to mind when challenges

Henriette V: 29:07

What Challenges? Moving to Canada,

Mark Laurie: 29:12

bigger than most are going to face? Most people like, oh my god, we gotta move across the city. It's so different in that neighborhood. Honestly,

Henriette V: 29:17

everything after that feels like a breeze, not a breeze, but a challenge that even doing this podcast is a bit of a challenge. I'm an introvert, so I don't easily speak about myself. Just do it. Yeah, just do it. There's enough. Call it spontaneity, I guess left in me from childhood there. But just Yeah, I can feel this is good for me. So let's just do, go ahead and do

Mark Laurie: 29:48

it. How do you define failure, and how have you reacted to failure over the years? It's no such thing, no. How do you see? How do you define it? Then What makes you say?

Henriette V: 29:57

Because, well, the way. A failure is opportunity. It's never failure. It's it's an opportunity to learn. You have to be a little apprehensive that you don't fall into bullying yourself, right? Like should have, could have didn't. But honestly, no, failure doesn't exist. You walk away eventually, and it might take a while going huh, if I hadn't made that choice. Then, even though, back then, I thought it was stupid or right after, I wouldn't be here now. So there is honestly no such thing as failure.

Mark Laurie: 30:52

What success, besides the immigration over here, are you most proud of something that you've done, that you sit back and go that that's the annals of my memory?

Henriette V: 31:01

Success is, well, if you're talking success in the normal, normal sense, definitely the way we were able to set up our lives, sell our business, be able to afford nice cars, right? A beautiful home, yeah, that that's success.

Mark Laurie: 31:27

Was that something that you, that you worked at, or just kind of fell into place like, oh, we worked Yeah, we

Henriette V: 31:33

worked hard, not because we wanted that success, per se, but that's who we are. Yeah. We cannot not work hard things, especially my husband. I can't keep up with him, but, but success, to me now feels more like when I'm happy with myself. I know I've been successful at something, and that is worth much more than whatever's in the bank account.

Mark Laurie: 32:04

Yeah, I find most people I talk to, the money in the bank account is more of a tabulation and allows them to do what they want to do, but it's not not their purpose. How do you pick your purposes.

Henriette V: 32:23

How do you pick your purposes? You come across things, and then you you go, huh? Is that something I would like or not? The first time I took photos with you, I don't even remember how or why. Well, I remember the why it was for my husband's 40th birthday, but I don't remember how I found you must have just googled, right? But it was a purpose. Yeah, yeah, they come across your path, right? For lack of a better explanation,

Mark Laurie: 33:06

and you picked an act. It's acting on things that makes differences, because people have opportunities all the time. But the difference is people do or do not act on them. That's very true, and then they kind of follow through. I suppose that would be the difference that defines you from other things, is that you come across stuff you do plenty

Henriette V: 33:21

of times where I go like, Oh, I guess I could do that. But don't really feel like it or but those are minor things I don't feel like vacuumed. It'll still be there tomorrow. There it goes. But purpose, to me means that you're actively contributing to either society or your own well being or someone else's well being. That, to me, is purpose.

Mark Laurie: 33:56

It strikes me through talking that you're really guided by your intuition. You really listen to intuition. Has that always been the case? No. How did you evolve into paying attention to your intuition?

Henriette V: 34:07

That's not true. I always have in as a kid, yeah, thinking about it, yeah, yeah. Because every major decision I make is based on life after healing now

Mark Laurie: 34:20

that's something your parents encouraged, or they go by the rules. How?

Henriette V: 34:24

Maybe, maybe I've never thought of that my dad for sure. So he was. My mom used to call him lazy. He never seemed very purposeful, right? But he was, he was, he knew exactly what he was doing, so just

Mark Laurie: 34:45

did one of those kind of casual ways. Got there. Yeah,

Henriette V: 34:50

he always seemed so relaxed about everything, and stoic sometimes, but that mind was going,

Mark Laurie: 34:59

it's kind of. Busy. It's cool. What personality trait do you wish you had?

Henriette V: 35:05

Do I wish? I wish I was more outgoing and less afraid to meet new people? What Every introvert wishes? Basically, yeah, when I'm in a big group and I don't know anybody, and I'm not sure if I have something in common with them, I sort of close. I can actually feel myself do this, and I make myself smaller. So

Mark Laurie: 35:33

do you spot that? Then try to step out of it, or just kind of get into it. Yeah, I do when,

Henriette V: 35:39

when it's me and my husband, it's easier. We're both introverts, right? But you sort of get courage from each other, I suppose. So we are members of the of the impresario club at the opera. And that's that's a big group of people that you meet three four times a year. We finally, after so many years, were able to, you know, whatever, let's just walk up to these guys, introduce ourselves and see what happens. Right? They're friends. We go to see them. They come to see us now, so, so that's really rewarding, and it shows you okay, you just have to get over yourself and do it right.

Mark Laurie: 36:29

A big, big kind of blocking thing for Do people understand you sometimes, yeah,

Henriette V: 36:40

being Dutch can be a lot of fun, but it can also be hindrance. How so what does that statement mean? I still feel, even talking to you right now, like, Okay, I have to choose my wording a little carefully. The Dutch can be really blunt and direct, and if I see something I don't like, I tend to that's not always the wisest thing to do. Sometimes I do and then I get into an argument. But that's, that's, it's part of who I am, and I can't always hide myself. No, absolutely not. It's

Unknown: 37:22

better not to hide when you're hiding yourself, I think you bump into

Henriette V: 37:27

Yeah, but I want to be liked, yeah. I want to fit in. So there's always that

Mark Laurie: 37:33

bog your heads for it, yeah, yeah.

Henriette V: 37:36

And I need, I need to learn to not give so much value to being liked. I need to learn how to deal with okay, this person doesn't like me. It's hard for me. It is

Mark Laurie: 37:51

I've been like a lifelong challenge. Have you been Yes, have you been gaining on it

Henriette V: 37:58

over the years? Yeah, I think a little bit. I think it was worse when I was when I was a teenager and a child, again, moving to Canada, not being daughter of right or family of helped as well, but at the Same time, Canadian society so much more polite. And in a way more formal than the Dutch, that sort of brought it back to what I mean. So yeah, it's it's very double, and it probably always will be for me, but from when I was like, six years old and went to school. My teachers have been saying about me to my parents, that I'm the harmonizer in the group. Oh, really, yeah, and that is why I want to get along with

Mark Laurie: 38:58

everybody, okay, and so you're that's, that's pretty powerful to have. That's a rare thing from the personality studies that I know. I've heard it so much,

Henriette V: 39:12

yeah, but it's true. Yeah. Has

Unknown: 39:15

that ever gotten you to trouble, into trouble? Yeah, where you best intentions didn't work out.

Henriette V: 39:23

Yes. Now you want an example. Sure, I have an example, but I don't want to talk about, okay,

Mark Laurie: 39:35

that's fine, yeah. What kind of things have you done that, that you believed in but somebody disagreed with

Henriette V: 39:45

you? Moving to Canada is one. Giving up religion is a big other one so you

Mark Laurie: 39:53

didn't just drift away from me. Just said we're done that. Yes,

Henriette V: 39:58

yes. Well. We didn't announce it, no, but, I

Mark Laurie: 40:02

mean, in your progress, you go, Okay, we're leaving that's a close or leave that behind, yeah?

Henriette V: 40:07

Oh, again, you can bring all the good stuff from it, but there's a lot of that stuff as well, or at least a lot of Huh, you know, that doesn't fit, or it's not, it's contradictory. Or how does that work? Or why does this not work for me? Because I feel like it's, it's, it's easier to become a good person in your own view, of course, when it comes out of yourself, then when someone from above says, You need to be disorders, yeah. So that, to me, was the final realization, okay, I don't need that stuff in my life. What was your question?

Mark Laurie: 41:04

You kind of answered it. You're all good with it now, because you stepped out of your comfort zone with me twice. And the last time we did was with a car, and we only had the whole three times, three times. That's right, yes, we did the three times. Yeah, how? Because when did the one with your car? We're outside, and it was a whole different kind of stuff. How'd that feel when you're when you're going through that process of being for athletic? I mean, there's everything. There's a big car. We're outdoors, you're, you're playing a character. It's a degree, yeah,

Henriette V: 41:34

I'm not an actress. So that was a challenge, for sure. You made it easier. That really helped also just, you know, it's, it's, it's a once in a life, chance or opportunity, and I'm just gonna make the best of it and have fun that that's the most important thing. I think, for me, if I step out the box, it's not easy, but knowing it's going to be fun and worth it at the end, right? Is what makes me do it. So

Mark Laurie: 42:13

the comment you made, so you've got a box that everyone kind of lives into it, and that you're like your comfort zone, I guess there's kind of a barrier to my from the sounds that were you resistance, and then you, you're free of the resistance, and you're into, does that make make sense? Does that work? That's exactly what it's like, yeah. And so we just got to push through that little bit extra. And I guess the more times you do that, the more you know it's gonna be good in the far side is that, yeah,

Henriette V: 42:36

and and you, you get to trust the process more, because, you know, I'm still alive after it if, and even if it's a complete failure, right? It is the way it is. Yeah, so I'm still alive. I'm still breathing. I can try again. Another time,

Mark Laurie: 42:57

I noticed also that you're, you're very involved in art, like in your house, you got some amazing pieces for it. How did you get interested in art? How'd that knowledge come about?

Henriette V: 43:06

I started working for an art gallery when I was just married, right? And it was my first real job, and I loved it, and the owners. So I had a base salary and then a little bit of commission for each work I sold, and by the time I left, I had saved enough money to pick out a few really nice pieces. So I did, and that's how it started. And lucky enough, my husband loves art as well. He's a, he's a great artist. He can draw, well, he can draw, he can he can do everything anyway. He's, it's annoying, but, but, and we're both into modern art, and our tastes are really similar, and the one thing that we agreed upon is we'll only buy pieces that we both love. If there's a piece I love he doesn't, then it's my piece, right and the other way around, obviously. So yeah, and it's one of the funnest things to do when you travel, is to go out wherever you are, find find that little gallery and have a look around and see if there's something you like. So some of our pieces are from Amsterdam, some are from San Francisco, yeah. They can come from everywhere. Most of them are from Calgary, local artists, yeah,

Mark Laurie: 44:51

so you wind up having each art piece or have the story behind how you got to it, not really, most, just the art itself responds to you, yeah,

Henriette V: 44:59

yeah. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. It speaks to you. And we all the pieces we've not all the pieces we've gotten, not lying most, the vast majority of the pieces we have, we still love. And every time we look at them and see them, we see new things. And that's that's what's so good about them, because, yeah, depending on your mood, too you you look at something completely different.

Mark Laurie: 45:37

I found interest in our pieces, especially my photograph, own photography, where it's a really good art piece, where you get different things out of it, when it depends on what mood you're in, and it kind of works that way.

Henriette V: 45:49

Yeah, exactly.

Mark Laurie: 45:52

Thank you. Today, this has been really, really intriguing. I really

Henriette V: 45:55

enjoyed thanks. It was fun, not as bad as I thought. I'm

Mark Laurie: 45:58

so glad for that. That's so cool. That's great. Thank you for the show and for everyone else. Catch the next one.

introduction: 46:07

This has been fascinating women with Mark Laurie join us on our website and subscribe@fascinatingwomen.ca fascinating women has been sponsored by inner spirit photography of Calgary, Alberta and is produced in Calgary by Lee Ellis and my office media.